"South of the Border" & I-95 Top Ten
 

Anybody Been To "South of The Border" On I-95 Near Dillon South Carolina,
Right On The North/South Carolina Border?

I Love This Place Just Because It Is So Ketchy, it's A Total Tourist Trap,
Dirty, Twisted, and Existing for no real reason at all, True Roadside
Americana at it's Sleaziest Best.

Anyway, Just Looking for you're Opinions / Storys / Videos / and Pictures
From the Mighty SOB!. So If Ya Got any, Please post them or a link to them
so I can Enjoy Them Too.

Here's some of my Highlights (Should I say "Lowlights" from my many stops at
this place on drives to and from Florida over the years,.....

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The SOB Top 10 List!

(Warning some dirty but true stuff ahead! not for the squeamish!)

10. The one time in over 15 years when I stopped and the sombrero towers
elevator was actually working and they let us go up it for once so we could
get a lovely view of I-95, and Neon Lights.

9. Overpriced Fireworks so big you could blow you and you're neighbors hands
right off. and the very loosely fallowed must be 18 to buy rules.

8. The amusement park and miniature golf areas that never seem to be cleaned
or opened at all ever.

7. The big over sized concrete animals that 1 in every 3 tourists must take
photos of their friends and family on in very compromising and suggestive
poses.

6. The way they keep shelves in gift shops stocked like this,......Kids
toy,......Naked Woman Playing Cards,.....another Kids Toy,.....fallowed by
plastic frog with large erect penis,......fallowed by sunglasses,......then
kids toy,.....then say beach towels with the F-word on
them,....etc,.....such an educational place for children really,......Anyway
not trying to offend anyone, just reporting the sick facts of SOB and how it
really is arranged,....so please don't get all mad at me.

5. The "Dirty ol' Mans" Shop near The back of Gift Shop South, Funny Stuff
you gotta see it Really.

4. The one time I tried to use Pedros Restrooms, (Near the Leather Shop) and
not only did I find after going inside the mens room that they had those
little quarter meters on each stall door, so you gotta pay to be, but to my
total surprize, they had a live teenaged girl,.....I'm not
kidding,......inside the mens room to give you change in case you had no
quarters,.....at first I thought it was a prank or something by some other
tourists, but no she had on a outfit and name tag like other SOB
workers,....and one of those change making aprons with silver metal coin
despenser things around her waist. anyway when I asked her if this was
really the mens room, or had I walked into the wrong one, she told me,..."No
you have the right one, just sometimes we are short on male employees, so I
gotta do it,...but don't worry, I won't look." - This it really a true story
I swear to it.

3. One time somewhere back near 1991 when near the back of one of the gift
shops my friend found a tiny plastic bottle with something that looked like
3 small brown Mexican jumping beans in it labeled;" Bottled Bull****, Open
at own Risk!",......Needless to say we Did,...and at first not much happened
just a slight Fart type smell you'd expect from such a
novelty,.......However,.....about 30 seconds later,....this burning stench
that is impossible to describe starts to blaze away in our nostrils, and
nothing and I mean Nothing we try can stop it,.....so there we are gagging,
running around like idiots,......trying sneezing, blowing our
noses,....flushing them with water,.....smelling candles, or perfume,
anything we can get our hands on,....but nothing works,.....Finally we run
to the car, get into our suit cases, and get out some Listerine mouthwash we
have, soak tissues in it and stuff them in our nostrils like we had a nose
bleed or something and drive on down I-95 like that for the next 30 minutes
or so before we could breath right again. ------ (PS. on the return drive
we stopped and bought it,....and took it back to Pennsylvania and tortured
several Friends with it- LOL,.....then one day one of them stole it and hid
it from us,....we have been stopping and searching every year since, but to
this day never saw it for sale at SOB ever again.)

2. The Year I was walking down the interior steps in "Pedros Tee Shirt
Store" and they have one of those machines where you drop in quarters and
try to win by knocking more quarters that are piled up and balanced inside
off the edge thereby gaining you money,.....anyway about halfway down the
stairs we hear a money dropping (Like a big coin payoff at a slot machine)
Sound,....and look around seeing nobody anywhere near the machine,...we walk
on down the stairs to find a ton of quarter have fallen into the winners
shoot,....I pocketed $18.25 There that day and never even Played The
Game! - Now that was probably the only time on earth someone went to SOB and
ripped them off instead of the other way around!!!!!

And Best of all!

1. The old half size Bowling Alley in the SOB Arcade where we got to Bowl
with softball sized hard wooden, crochet type balls while Actual Live Cock
Roaches and Mice ran across the Bowling Lanes! - Total Gore Fest
Extraordinaire ! - (Sorry P.E.T.A.)

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Anyway,.....you're storys, thoughts or comments???????