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Old December 12th, 2008, 01:05 PM posted to rec.travel.usa-canada,rec.travel.australia+nz
Frank Slootweg
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Posts: 275
Default Report from the US, a nice but somewhat backward country.

John Kulp wrote:
Well written and funny, but not entirely accurate. See below.


Thanks and thanks for your humor in return.

I'll respond only to some points. (No use in responding to all/most
humor-humor responses, nor to humor-serious responses.)

On Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:30:33 +0100, Frank Slootweg
wrote:

[...]
2. Contrary to urban legend, American cars actually *do* have a boot/trunk.

The lady at Alamo/National tried to convince us that our two small
suitcases would not fit in the boot/trunk/whatever and tried to
prove that with silly graphics. She offered a quite expensive
upgrade to a 'mid-size'. Being quite dead after the long flight from
Munich (*Don't* ask!), we fell for it. At light the next morning, we
saw that the mid-size didn't only fit our suitcases, but also those
of the whole bloody motel. So we went back and got the booked
compact. We could choose it ourselves and opted for a sporty
two-door Chevy Cobalt. A very nice car, for an American one, that
is. Sadly enough my wife didn't appreciate me, temporarily,
exchanging her for a 20-year old, otherwise I would've looked even
'hotter' than I already did.


Found out what rental car agents on commission do, did you?


Nah, I'm apparently a sucker for women, 'even' (or especially?)
(somewhat) older ones, and apparently my wife has no control over me.
OTOH there are all these nice people in white coats all around me, so
*something* must have happened!

[...]

4. American petrol/gas stations charge what they bloody well like.

While American petrol/gas prices are still ridiculously low compared
to Oz/Europe, prices vary by upto a *factor* of two within a short
distance, sometimes even a few miles or even less. I realize that
there's hardly any tax part in the price, so it's mostly 'cost', but
the real cost can't vary that much within such a small area.


That's what happens when you have free markets that are not
monopolized. You get a choice.


That the same in Europe/Oz, but the tax component is *so* high that
the differences in end-price are relatively (i.e. percentage-wise)
small. I.e. with taxes upto 70 odd percent, you will only see a
six-seven percent difference max in end-prices.

5. Americans don't quite grasp what the 'G' in GSM stands for.

They apparently think it means 'the whole world except us', so they
use a different, incompatible frequency.
Luckily our son has more mobile phones than underpants, so he gave
us - no less than three - 'old' multi-band ones. Problem solved, at
least we *thought* so.


Funny, I have one I bought here that works anywhere in the world.


Sorry, but I don't follow! Didn't I say the exact same thing? I.e. my
(son's) phone also "works anywhere in the world". The fact that I *can*
buy a phone that *doesn't* work anywhere in the world, doesn't mean I
*cannot* buy *another type* of phone which *does*.

6. Americans don't quite grasp that SIMs can be put in *other* phones.

Having a multi-band phone, I went to buy a pre-paid SIM. No such
thing in the US! You can only buy a SIM *and* phone. Duh! I already
*have* a (compatible) phone, *three* of them!


Completely wrong. Just do a search for "pre-paid SIM in the US" and
see what you find.


Can you give a *specific* reference? As I said, I *did* search before
our trip and didn't find anything suitable. BTW, the guy at the Radio
Shack store where I eventually bought the SIM+phone didn't understand
what I meant when I said I wanted a SIM for my phone.

7. Americans don't grasp that mobile phones are actually ... ummm ...
*phones*.

When I wanted/needed to register the pre-paid AT&T GoPhone mobile
phone which I had to buy, AT&T insisted on having me use *another*
phone to perform the registration procedure. Duh! What about using
the bloody mobile phone itself, like is done in every other
country!?


You just found out why nobody uses ATT here. There are lots of other
you know.


Yes, but my prime concern is network-coverage. I've been bitten too
many times by non-coverage in rural areas or/and no-roaming onto other/
better networks, that I don't go for less-known brands anymore. Before
our trip I checked T-Mobile USA's (GSM) coverage in the areas where we
wanted to go, and it was worse than AT&T's. So I got a AT&T SIM(/phone).

For example in Australia it's Telstra for me, both mobile and 'fixed'
(pre-paid phone/calling card). I don't need to call that often/long, so
price/rates is of less concern, but *when* I need to call, I want to be
*able* to, and not be stuck with "A bloody useless mobile phone"
(courtesy John Williamson).

[...]

You were just running into New Jersey tourists. Most of us do know
how to drive. Except seniors who will signal a turn for about 10
miles.


Careful! You're *talking* to one of them there "seniors"!

[...]

Hmmm. Must be why I load up on Swedish coffee everytime I go there.


*Don't* get me started on the Swedes!

But seriously (why?), I never heard of Swedish coffee. Probably have
to try it some time.

N.B. Of course the Americans also do not have beer, but that fact is
so indisputable, I won't have to get into *that* one.


Not even close. We have tons of microbreweries that produce beers
that are every bit as good as any beer anywhere in the world. And
widely availble in any liquor store as well. Try a Sam Adams
sometime.


The beer-bashing thingie does the trick every time, doesn't it?

11. Americans don't realize that you don't *have* to 'deep' fry fish.

Why do they insist on deep frying perfectly good fish, even in
places which are directly on the coast, like Morro Bay and
(Fisherman's Warf in) San Francisco? If they don't *like* fish, then
why not just not order/eat it!? No sense in ruining it for others.


Should have gone to Chinatown where they know how to do fish fine.
They're Americans too you know.


We actually *did* go there, but for some strange reason we couldn't
read the signs. I wonder why!

But seriously, San Francisco's Chinatown is *huge*, isn't it? It went
on for blocks and blocks and blocks!

[...]

14. Americans actually stop for pedestrians.

This one also takes getting used to, but also is quite nice and
safe. Sometimes you're not even trying or wanting to cross the
street and you see stopped cars all around, patiently waiting for
you to make up your bloody mind.


That's because we don't want them denting our nice cars.


Great one! One to remember!

15. Americans are mostly nice, friendly people.

We mostly met and talked with nice, friendly people. That's of
course because we're so bloody nice ourselves.


We love foreigners. They're so cute!!


You can get us as pets, you know, and we're mostly house-trained.

OTOH, I couldn't find a toilet *anywhere*, and these people kept pointing
me to 'restroom's while I wasn't even tired! Stupid idiots! So after
getting home after two weeks, I had to have some *serious* leak (mostly
due to that beer####Bud of yours)!

[...]

To put things in perspective, they were even so nice to give us a
reference point in a staff-member from hell in a Best Western motel
somewhere. To set the tone, she was 'preceded' by two young,
clueless, incompetent and inaudible others. She managed to treat us
like dirt / non-existing for problems which the *motel* caused.


There are another kind?


(Ignoring the invisible smiley,) Yes, our experience was mostly
positive or at least neutral. If you treat them nice/friendly and with
respect, most people will return the favor, and that goes both ways
(service person -- customer).

[...]