Dankblog: Provo - April 5, 2010

Utah has to be the most retarded place on earth. I thought Texas was
retarded enough when I lived there, but Utah takes it to a whole new
level.

California is fun because it is so diverse. Utah is the exact
opposite of diverse, and is about as much fun as a root canal on
acid. San Francisco is the most multicultural city in the country,
and Provo is the anti-San Francisco.

Some people criticize diversity, but if you want to know what life is
like without it, come to Utah. There is no diversity or
multiculturalism here. Everything and everyone is exactly the same,
every day is exactly the same. Sometimes I wonder if this might be
purgatory, the mythical place between heaven and hell where lost souls
go to spend the rest of eternity.

The saddest thing about Utah is that it seems so representative of
American white culture. Everyone looks the same, they all dress the
same, everyone shops at the same chain stores in the same strip malls,
the same Wal-Marts and Costcos dot the landscape, and the most
sophisticated cuisine seems to be Arby's, Wendy's, McDonalds, and when
they really want exotic, Panda Express.

But even the whitest communities in other parts of the USA have some
diversity of religion, but everyone in Utah belongs to the same
religious cult, the LDS or Mormon church. There seems to be a Mormon
church every few blocks, and sometimes I have seen two of them right
next to each other. They are like public schools, you attend the one
you are assigned to, there is no choice in the matter.

The official symbol of both the state of Utah and the LDS cult is a
beehive, which is appropriate since Mormon society is a collective,
very much like an insect colony. As with other religions, devoutness
varies widely, but a good Mormon lives for the hive, and like a bee,
it is the reason for his very existence.

Utah is rather like a science fiction movie. Possible comparisons
include the episode of Star Trek where Kirk and Spock beam down to an
old west planet where everyone acts like a robot and keep asking if
they are "of the body." Kirk eventually discovers they are being
controlled by an ancient computer. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"
is another good one, alien pod creatures that only look like human
beings, or "Children of the Damned," with the sinister white-haired
alien children. But I think the best comparison is to "The Stepford
Wives," set in the fictional town of Stepford which is so perfect,
everybody is so ****in' perfect, because they are robots.

There is some ****tard who repeatedly accuses me of lying about my
travels, which is one reason I'm posting this blog to the Usenet
archives, with a timestamp which can be used as evidence. Further
evidence are the following photographs with visible dates contained
within, such as newspapers, electronic sign displays, etc.:

http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...-111436mdt.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...1436mdt-z1.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...1436mdt-z2.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...-120144mdt.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...20144mdt-z.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...-123343mdt.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...23343mdt-z.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...-114601mdt.jpg
http://i929.photobucket.com/albums/a...14601mdt-z.jpg

More Provo photos at:
http://s929.photobucket.com/albums/a...66/utah/provo/