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Old January 29th, 2004, 04:42 AM
slazz
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Default Review Millenium/Eastern Caribbean

Egad - I've been asked to write a review, and I'm getting that old term
paper-y feeling. Don't grade this, por favor.

1. We stayed at the Tropi Rock Resort in Fort Lauderdale. The place is
inexpensive and artistic, and the owner (Mick) and his family (including
dog) couldn't have been friendlier. You won't get room service, but you'll
get a great room and you're across the street from the beach - nuff said.
Highly recommend it.

2. Embarked easily and early; we were told we'd board at 2:00 but we were
settled by 1:00 and high tailed it to the pool.

3. The ship is beautiful. Loved the artwork. Loved our room and veranda.
Loved the theatre, cinema, cafes, and especially Tunes - the CD library.
Millenium's premium restaurant, Olympic, is spectacular... and well worth
the 25 bucks a pop to dine there (superb food, outstanding service and
atmosphere).

4. We booked this trip to see if we'd like cruising, because we never had;
we did not book it to "travel". That being said, the ports were what we
expected... nothing special, with the exception of St. Thomas which allowed
us to ferry over to St. John, rent a jeep, and scram. Driving on the left
side of the road was fun. Trunk Bay was gorgeous and semi-crowded, so we
snorkled a bit and then headed to Salt Pond Bay and Waterlemon Cay.
Virtually empty. Snorkling far better than Trunk Bay. All of it
breathtaking. Bonded with giant sea turtles.

5. The crew was wonderful, and extremely amusing when they had the time to
share their stories and perceptions of Celebrity "guests". I highly
recommend Marijo, head waiter extraordinairre.

6. Food was everywhere, and some of it was very good. Overall it was just
slightly better than average... but we are very spoiled and dine well, so
take that with a grain of salt. The goat cheese souffle in the Olympic was
perfection. Excellent wine list.

7. Shows weren't "Waiting For Guffman" quality, but they weren't great,
either.

8. Only 2 films were shown on this cruise, as the cinema was booked the
rest of the time for a private function. Since we're both film fanatics,
this wasn't good news. Mentioned our disappointment to the concierge. He
furrowed his brow, said he understood. Deep down inside (not that deep,
really) we knew he didn't.

9. We saw a grown man have a tantrum in the dining room because he hated
his table. He threw his napkin to the ground, gestured like a maniac,
screamed like a maniac, and made his wife turn an interesting shade of
green. He was... lets say, "encouraged" to leave the vacinity. Which he
did, with much fanfare. I must say that this man's performance was far more
entertaining and enjoyable than "FantaSEA!", etc. (see #7).

10. We met a lot of fabulous people.

11. We met alot of frightening people.

12. Unless Joahanna is your bartender, you will not get much of a drink in
that drink.

13. The hot stone massage in the Aqua Spa was relaxing, soothing,
stress-relieving. Then (in the name of irony) Marius came on with a sales
pitch so strong it instantanously re-induced stress and tensed those muscles
right back to square one, do not pass go unless you spend 45 thousand
dollars for wee bottles of essential oils that aren't nearly as good as the
essential oils you can get anywhere else for 12 dollars - though Marius
can't exactly tell you why - thank you very much, here's the cash register
now hand over your wallet please.

14. Customs was a nightmare. Very poorly organized. No one had a clue
where they were supposed to go, and there was not a crew member in sight.
This is where we saw #10 turn into #11 (though I suspect if you scream at
old people who aren't cutting in line like you think theyt are but are
merely asking for your assistance, you're really not a 10 to begin with -
you're one louder).

15. 2 people refused to go through customs and as a result, we were all
detained. This resulted in utter choas when we were finally free to
disembark. Chaos on the stairs to the gangway, chaos getting luggage in the
terminal, chaos trying to get a taxi...

16. We had an early flight. We were supposed to disembark in the first
group. There really were no "groups". We were trapped amongst the masses
and missed our flight.

17. Every other flight to our destination that day was booked. We stood-by
for stand-by, twice. We had to stay in Fort Lauderdale overnight, as were
were suddenly "distressed passengers". We got a reasonable "distressed
passenger" hotel rate. We called Mick (see #1) and told him our tale of
woe, and he wisely matched it. The rate, not the woe.

18. The last day was lousy enough - disorganized enough - to seriously make
us think twice about doing this ever again.

19. But as soon as we forgot we ever said #16, we will go again. Just not
to the Eastern Caribbean.

And last but not least...

20. My wonderful husband won 210 bucks in the casino, now we're rich.