report of a vist to the Hotel Pennsylvania, NYC

As promised, I stopped by the Hotel Pennsylvania this afternoon. It
was lovely day in Manhattan and no inconvenience since the errands I
was doing took me right past the front door.

I wish I could report that I accomplished a lot - but I think I got
enough information to satisfy the recent questions of, is it a fleabag
or a grand experience.

I could not speak with anyone at the front desk because when I arrived
around 1PM the lobby was jammed with people and there were perhaps 50
people in a line for check-in. I was not about to get into that line.
I have a birthday coming in two weeks and hope to be home again before
then.

But I did find the head of security (all ex-cops look alike) and he
suggested I use the house phone to call the Manager - whose name he
either did not know or would not say.

The hotel operator had the same problem. Did not have a name for the
manager. It took three tries, phones just ringing off into nowhere, to
connect me to someone who answered, "This is the office. Please hold."

Of course, I was not put on hold. That's not the way these things
work. You have to be disconnected and redial at least once to prove
the sincerity of your intention and the urgency of your purpose. I've
dealt with hotels, airlines, government offices and girl-friends who
did not accept my sincerity until at least the third call.

I remember back in the 1960s there was this blue-eyed blonde in
Jackson Mississippi, named Rosa Lee. She'd hang up on me three or four
times but it was worth every one of those humiliating incidents when
she would finally say "Yes."

Her "yes" extended across the entire length of three excruciatingly,
sensuous syllables ..."yee - ay - us" and by time she was done, so was
I.

This was before the jet plane and network television totally destroyed
and flattened all regional accents. Back then, when a girl in
Mississippi said "yee-ay-us" you knew something was about to happen
that you would remember the rest of you life. I'm 70 years old - and I
do.

But I digress.

On my first callback from the lobby phone I got a signal that I would
yet speak with someone. This came in the form of, "This is Cynthia in
the Office. Please Hold."

Same voice, but this time I got a name. Those of you wise in these
encounters will recognize that it is highly unusual to be offered a
name without asking for it. That it may be a phony name is irrelevant.
The secret message is, "I will yet speak with you."

About three minutes later Cynthia, or whoever she really is, came back
on the line.

I explained the purpose of my visit was to see a room of the type that
would be available.

"We can't do that. The manager is the only one who can show you a room
and he is out to lunch . . . No, I don't know what time he'll be back
.. . . His name? . . . I just told you, he's not here. . . .
Renovated rooms? . . . I don't know want you are asking about . . .
we have two kinds of rooms, "standard" and "superior."

This nomenclature of "standard" and "superior" for hotel rooms is
similar to Starbucks and BurgerKing who claim to have only Large, Very
Large and Super-Large. I think these terms of puffery were invented
by the same advertising writers who are responsible for the text in
all these penile enhancement spams - not that *I* need any, thank you.

Returning to "Cynthia"

"Cynthia, I was told that there are rooms that have been renovated and
that if one asked for one, you can avoid getting one of the older
rooms." She did not seem to take offense at my using the vulgar term
"older rooms." Cynthia is obviously a lady not easily rattled by
uncouthly stated questions.

"Yes . . . we did renovate some rooms. Not all at the same time. We
did a few a month until we had what we needed . . . When? . . . Oh
about 6 years ago. . . Yes, that's what I said . . . our renovated
rooms were done 6 years ago . . . No, we haven't renovated any since
then. . . Well if your friends want one of those, you probably will
not get it over the Internet because the ones offered on the Internet
are usually the "standard" rooms . . . You're very welcome. Have a
nice day."

And I did.

I went to one of the few stores left in all of Manhattan that
specializes in nothing but good quality men's hats. Brought me a
comfortable Australian-made, wide-brimmed, crushable kangaroo leather
number to replace the one I left on the bus last month.

Then I went to Chinatown and had the best damned late-afternoon lunch
at the "XO", a little place on a side street away from the tourist
crush of Canal Street. I'm often the only non-Chinese in there. Had a
stunning meal for $7.50. Chunks of fresh fish of all kinds, including
lobster, scallops, shrimp and some but I couldn't recognize. The fish
was first grilled and then packed into a lotus leaf filled with rice
and spices about the size of a kids football and steamed inside a
bamboo basket until the flavors were blended. When the leaf is opened
and the aromas escape, you know that God speaks Mandarin.

Then I went over to Canal and bought a fairly good copy of a famous
brand watch. It just didn't have the famous brand on it. The original
would go for about $30/50. The street stand seller wanted $14. We
settled on $7.00. It replaced one almost identical I'd bought in that
neighborhood for $8 back around 1990. Damn thing only last 14 years.

Strapping it on, I then walked all the way back up to the 42nd St Port
Authority Terminal and caught the bus that gets me to my front door in
30 minutes flat. This time I did not forget my hat.

Bottom line. I suggest that Shawn and his wife stay in any other place
but the Hotel Pennsylvania unless they can count on having the rest of
their day turn out as pleasant as mine. Save the crap shooting for
Las Vegas.


CaribeJoe - Moderator
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On 30 Jul 2004 05:16:25 GMT,
lid
(caribejoe@REMOVEmycaribbe) wrote:

[snip]
Then I went to Chinatown and had the best damned late-afternoon lunch
at the "XO", a little place on a side street away from the tourist
crush of Canal Street. I'm often the only non-Chinese in there. Had a
stunning meal for $7.50. Chunks of fresh fish of all kinds, including
lobster, scallops, shrimp and some but I couldn't recognize. The fish
was first grilled and then packed into a lotus leaf filled with rice
and spices about the size of a kids football and steamed inside a
bamboo basket until the flavors were blended. When the leaf is opened
and the aromas escape, you know that God speaks Mandarin.
[snip]

Thanks for the recommendation, Joe. I've passed that place many times
but haven't gone in. I'll try it some time.

Michael

If you would like to send a private email to me, please take out the TRASH, so to speak. Please do not email me something which you also posted.

On 30 Jul 2004 05:16:25 GMT,
lid
(caribejoe@REMOVEmycaribbe) wrote:

[snip]
Then I went to Chinatown and had the best damned late-afternoon lunch
at the "XO", a little place on a side street away from the tourist
crush of Canal Street. I'm often the only non-Chinese in there. Had a
stunning meal for $7.50. Chunks of fresh fish of all kinds, including
lobster, scallops, shrimp and some but I couldn't recognize. The fish
was first grilled and then packed into a lotus leaf filled with rice
and spices about the size of a kids football and steamed inside a
bamboo basket until the flavors were blended. When the leaf is opened
and the aromas escape, you know that God speaks Mandarin.
[snip]

Thanks for the recommendation, Joe. I've passed that place many times
but haven't gone in. I'll try it some time.

Michael

If you would like to send a private email to me, please take out the TRASH, so to speak. Please do not email me something which you also posted.

On 30 Jul 2004 05:16:25 GMT,
lid
(caribejoe@REMOVEmycaribbe) wrote:

[snip]
Then I went to Chinatown and had the best damned late-afternoon lunch
at the "XO", a little place on a side street away from the tourist
crush of Canal Street. I'm often the only non-Chinese in there. Had a
stunning meal for $7.50. Chunks of fresh fish of all kinds, including
lobster, scallops, shrimp and some but I couldn't recognize. The fish
was first grilled and then packed into a lotus leaf filled with rice
and spices about the size of a kids football and steamed inside a
bamboo basket until the flavors were blended. When the leaf is opened
and the aromas escape, you know that God speaks Mandarin.
[snip]

Thanks for the recommendation, Joe. I've passed that place many times
but haven't gone in. I'll try it some time.

Michael

If you would like to send a private email to me, please take out the TRASH, so to speak. Please do not email me something which you also posted.

On 30 Jul 2004 05:16:25 GMT,
lid
(caribejoe@REMOVEmycaribbe) wrote:

[snip]
Then I went to Chinatown and had the best damned late-afternoon lunch
at the "XO", a little place on a side street away from the tourist
crush of Canal Street. I'm often the only non-Chinese in there. Had a
stunning meal for $7.50. Chunks of fresh fish of all kinds, including
lobster, scallops, shrimp and some but I couldn't recognize. The fish
was first grilled and then packed into a lotus leaf filled with rice
and spices about the size of a kids football and steamed inside a
bamboo basket until the flavors were blended. When the leaf is opened
and the aromas escape, you know that God speaks Mandarin.
[snip]

Thanks for the recommendation, Joe. I've passed that place many times
but haven't gone in. I'll try it some time.

Michael

If you would like to send a private email to me, please take out the TRASH, so to speak. Please do not email me something which you also posted.