Thai-ing the Knot (farang marriages)

R N wrote:
I'll agree about avoiding local Thai groups in the US or Canada. One
Canadian is still paying for his mother in law's apt after the
Filipino
'welcoming committee' gave her the down-low. She moved out of his
house
claiming he abused her which entitled her to force him to pay for an
apt
of her own.

So he beat his wife and now complains because she kicked him out????

If your Asian wife mostly hangs out with others from her country in
the
West she won't mature and adapt as quickly. Or at all. They'll just
be
jabbering amongst themselves like they would back in the hood.

"Jabbering"???

I don't see the need to suddenly change my culture for my wife's and
be
100% sympathetic to it's backward provincial ways. They're Third
World
countries! That's nuts.

Thailand is not third world. The fact that you view them that way says
a lot about *you*.

The best thing you can do for her is urge her to move into the 21st
century and get with it.
Yes way too many do marry a bar girl or the first girl who smiles at
them, and they're sorry later.
That family first thing is a nice idea, but the Western husband just
becomes a 'tool' if he lets that crap continue. Remember tool rhymes
with 'fool'...

If you can't deal with the family ties that an Asian woman believes
strongly in, don't marry her. It's kind of arrogant to claim that your
beliefs are all great and it her that needs to change.

Take your time and find one that's got a good head on her shoulders
to
match her pretty face. I could have gotten married a 100x in the
Philippines if I wanted to, but I wasn't there to get married. Until
one day....

There's just as many pitfalls when marrying an Asian as there is in
your own country. If not more.

Men with attitudes like yours are what keeps divorce lawyers in
Mercedes.

R N wrote:
I'll agree about avoiding local Thai groups in the US or Canada. One
Canadian is still paying for his mother in law's apt after the
Filipino
'welcoming committee' gave her the down-low. She moved out of his
house
claiming he abused her which entitled her to force him to pay for an
apt
of her own.

So he beat his wife and now complains because she kicked him out????

If your Asian wife mostly hangs out with others from her country in
the
West she won't mature and adapt as quickly. Or at all. They'll just
be
jabbering amongst themselves like they would back in the hood.

"Jabbering"???

I don't see the need to suddenly change my culture for my wife's and
be
100% sympathetic to it's backward provincial ways. They're Third
World
countries! That's nuts.

Thailand is not third world. The fact that you view them that way says
a lot about *you*.

The best thing you can do for her is urge her to move into the 21st
century and get with it.
Yes way too many do marry a bar girl or the first girl who smiles at
them, and they're sorry later.
That family first thing is a nice idea, but the Western husband just
becomes a 'tool' if he lets that crap continue. Remember tool rhymes
with 'fool'...

If you can't deal with the family ties that an Asian woman believes
strongly in, don't marry her. It's kind of arrogant to claim that your
beliefs are all great and it her that needs to change.

Take your time and find one that's got a good head on her shoulders
to
match her pretty face. I could have gotten married a 100x in the
Philippines if I wanted to, but I wasn't there to get married. Until
one day....

There's just as many pitfalls when marrying an Asian as there is in
your own country. If not more.

Men with attitudes like yours are what keeps divorce lawyers in
Mercedes.

.....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end. Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Thirdly....what do YOU know about HER culture and family ? She will
undergo
social isolation for awhile,
it will help a great amount if you can take the time to try and
understand
her culture and her position within that culture prior to her leaving
Thailand.

Many Asian husbands of Thai women forbid their wives to interact with
members of the local Thai community. That don't imprison them, but
these men try very hard to make their Thai wives integrate into
Hongkong, Taiwan or Singapore society. Those who let their wives
interact freely with the local Thai community (even when it's not a
hooker community) usually end up losing them. Sometimes, I pity the
hookers. They are always the scapegoats when something goes wrong. The
fact of the matter is, divorce or rather "casual separation" is taken
very lightly at practically all levels of Thai society. Very often, the
sort of idle chatter (subtle boasting and wealth comparison) between
bored and shallow women that we overhear at bus stations and markets in
Thailand are good enough to strain most relationships.


And.....as Noi wisely said, keep her away from the 'old hookers who
become
instant Thai princesses in Farrangland' .............or words to that
effect. They can be extremely evil to young female Thai immigrants.

Other than that.....be happy.


....Ken

Amen rinpoche... well said and very true.


The Canadian's mother in law falsely claimed that he had abused her,
evidently allowing her under Canadian law to force him to pay for her
apt. This was after the local Canadian Filipina 'welcoming committee'
clued her in on her rights.

I won't comment on the rest. I've had more than enough absurd
discussions with foreigners who've happily given up whatever common
sense they had just because they finally found someone who loves them
and are all enamored with their wife's culture.

In spite of the implied divorce-wish,we're doing just fine. The longer
she's in the US, the better she is, and the further she leaves behind
the provincial thinking.

I didn't spend all that time overseas after marrying there just to have
her seek out and have her development be crippled by any local Filipina
groups. I'm not running a tour service, it's a marriage.

It's kind of a losing venture anyway...the ones who have been here
awhile or are Fil Am will look down on her. It's better she hangs out
with American women anyway, and not just join a little Filipino
pitty-potty group where they can all sit around and complain to each
other.

By the way,my wife's father loves me, says I'm 'humble' meaning not
arrogant, and his opinion (since he knows me) is enough.

rinpoche wrote:
....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end.
Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards
in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Your perceptions of Thailand are so wrong I can't help but wonder if
you've ever actually been there. Thai people are probably more loyal to
their country and culture than just about any other people on earth. It
is *NOT* at all common for Thai people to want to move to another
country. Some will because of circumstances. But even those long for a
return to Thailand. To say that Thai people "desperately want" to move
to a foreign country is absurd.

rinpoche wrote:
....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end.
Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards
in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Your perceptions of Thailand are so wrong I can't help but wonder if
you've ever actually been there. Thai people are probably more loyal to
their country and culture than just about any other people on earth. It
is *NOT* at all common for Thai people to want to move to another
country. Some will because of circumstances. But even those long for a
return to Thailand. To say that Thai people "desperately want" to move
to a foreign country is absurd.

rinpoche wrote:
....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end.
Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards
in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Your perceptions of Thailand are so wrong I can't help but wonder if
you've ever actually been there. Thai people are probably more loyal to
their country and culture than just about any other people on earth. It
is *NOT* at all common for Thai people to want to move to another
country. Some will because of circumstances. But even those long for a
return to Thailand. To say that Thai people "desperately want" to move
to a foreign country is absurd.

rinpoche wrote:
....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end.
Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards
in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Your perceptions of Thailand are so wrong I can't help but wonder if
you've ever actually been there. Thai people are probably more loyal to
their country and culture than just about any other people on earth. It
is *NOT* at all common for Thai people to want to move to another
country. Some will because of circumstances. But even those long for a
return to Thailand. To say that Thai people "desperately want" to move
to a foreign country is absurd.

On 17 Feb 2005 05:15:53 -0800, "Tchiowa" wrote:


rinpoche wrote:
....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end.
Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards
in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Your perceptions of Thailand are so wrong I can't help but wonder if
you've ever actually been there. Thai people are probably more loyal to
their country and culture than just about any other people on earth. It
is *NOT* at all common for Thai people to want to move to another
country. Some will because of circumstances. But even those long for a
return to Thailand. To say that Thai people "desperately want" to move
to a foreign country is absurd.

You know Titchy: sometimes we fight for nothing - but even then and
there - you find the truth.
Rinpoche probably has been a has been and a dreamer of that dream.
Like a broken record.
We better tell him to sign off - eh?
Cheers
Chabby

On 17 Feb 2005 05:15:53 -0800, "Tchiowa" wrote:


rinpoche wrote:
....Ken wrote:
Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is
going to
Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to
Canada.

If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting
until the
centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that
bloody
fulfilling for the lass.

But a lot of Thais also move to a foreign country because they
desperately want to do so and marriage is only a means to an end.
Many
Thai girls have such grand illusions about Farangland and a Farang
husband is a ticket to paradise. Little do they know that standards
in
developed countries are very different and money isn't just easier to
earn because salaries are higher.

Your perceptions of Thailand are so wrong I can't help but wonder if
you've ever actually been there. Thai people are probably more loyal to
their country and culture than just about any other people on earth. It
is *NOT* at all common for Thai people to want to move to another
country. Some will because of circumstances. But even those long for a
return to Thailand. To say that Thai people "desperately want" to move
to a foreign country is absurd.

You know Titchy: sometimes we fight for nothing - but even then and
there - you find the truth.
Rinpoche probably has been a has been and a dreamer of that dream.
Like a broken record.
We better tell him to sign off - eh?
Cheers
Chabby