Airport Objectives: Less Uncomfortable & More Tres Cher

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/30/bu...?ref=yourmoney

10. Heaven imitations or Dairy Queens with flavorsome Mister Mistyies
on every other concourse
9. Telephone calls from pay phones for only $5 per local call (no
refunds, sucker)
8. Lost luggage raffle tickets make it less enraging to futilely wait
& be ****ed-off
7. The repetitive smooth talking p.a. announcer doesn't say in radio
announcer perfect sing-song, "CAVEAT: DANGER, and have a nice flight"
6. Less harrassment by Congressmen when taking dump
5. Christian Science Reading Rooms for non-smokers, teetoters & non-
pill poppers
4. Less greasey Whoppers with over-generously salted fries
3. Ten dollar watches that look like they're from a dollar store
2. Booth exchanges of inflated Euros for some real money, poor
l'estrangers welcome
1. Airport CNN ad nauseam expanded to parking lots and mini-buses