An old fart's guide to "canopy tours"

I did the well organized Los Verranos (I think it is) experience near
Puerto Vallarta last week, and think it's worth a report...

The literature describing the ship-sponsored adventure suggests that
participants be in good physical condition. I took someone's advice and
went off the beaten path to this one, which is supposedly bigger,
higher, longer, faster, etc. etc. Well, maybe. It was 20 minutes and $8
from the cruise ship to the office on Mismaloya Highway, then 30 minutes
up into the mountains in a truck fitted as a bus. Not uncomfortable, and
it was full of people in good spirits - but many had never seen a
warning regarding "good physical condition", and they paid a price.

In my mind, holding a T-handle while comfortably hanging from a
climber's harness didn't seem like much work, so I wasn't concerned. The
cable is three inch (that's one inch in diameter), and in good condition
affixed at each end very securely, and the equipment was also in good
condition, so I began the process with no worries at all...

The experience begins with training -- which is absolutely mandatory --
in an outdoor classroom setting. Thankfully, you're taught to brake.
Equally useful is the solution to an inadvertent stop before the end of
a zip!!! (FYI, one grasps the cable, turns around to face the point of
origin, reaches overhead and back, and goes hand-over-hand while
suspended perhaps 200' above a canyon floor)

That particular canopy tour includes 15 zips, of which the longest is
marked as 400 meters (about 1/4 mile!) and the average is perhaps
150-200 meters. I would estimate that the average "drop" from any given
starting platform to the ending point was probably about fifty feet.
Simple arithmetic will indicate the problem for this 68 year old, and it
was certainly an even bigger problem for some of the fatties and smoking
gaspers who tried this. The point is that in zipping, what goes down
must come up. Fifteen zips with an average drop of fifty feet means that
the total drop over the tour was about 750 feet, which is the equivalent
of a 75 story office building. For every zip, one must climb to the next
platform, and the steps are rugged and irregular...

You'll be amazed to learn that in this day of technology, in that
rainforest, on those mountainsides, THERE IS NO ELEVATOR!!! Mexico is
primitive in comparison to New York, but there should be at least an
escalator... The group of about 25 began quite together, zipping in
sequence, but due to lots of enroute resting, especially by the gasping
fatties it eventually became very strung out and many didn't make it for
quite a long while. For my age I'm reasonably fit, and was driven by
residual testosterone, so was never passed. The pain lasted for two days!

I'm happy to report that at the end of the experience there was cold
beer, terrific food, and my margarita-sipping wife of 34 years who said
"You're still crazy!" I was also tired.

Ike

Way to go, Ike!!!