AIRCRAFT SHOT DOWN NEAR WHITE HOUSE!

WASHINGTON 12/25/03 -- An unidentified aircraft was shot down near the
White House at approximately 23:58 EST after it failed to heed air
traffic control warnings about flying in restricted air space.

Officials have yet to identify the type of craft, but are hoping to
gather evidence from the scattered debris over and near the White
House grounds.

"Right now it's a mess", stated one member of the cleanup team.
"There's fur and wrapping paper everywhere. Thank God this happened
over the holidays, so it won't inconvenience tourists too much. We
should have it all cleaned up by Friday."

President George W. Bush praised the quick actions of the security
force. "Let this send a strong message to terrorists that we
absolutely refuse unauthorized intrusions into American air space.
That is just sooooooo not acceptable."

"We're under a Code Orange alert, so we can never be too careful",
stated Sec. of State Colin Powell in an official press release.

HA, Ha, Ha - I mean HO, Ho , Ho



"Camille" wrote in message
om...
WASHINGTON 12/25/03 -- An unidentified aircraft was shot down near the
White House at approximately 23:58 EST after it failed to heed air
traffic control warnings about flying in restricted air space.

Officials have yet to identify the type of craft, but are hoping to
gather evidence from the scattered debris over and near the White
House grounds.

"Right now it's a mess", stated one member of the cleanup team.
"There's fur and wrapping paper everywhere. Thank God this happened
over the holidays, so it won't inconvenience tourists too much. We
should have it all cleaned up by Friday."

President George W. Bush praised the quick actions of the security
force. "Let this send a strong message to terrorists that we
absolutely refuse unauthorized intrusions into American air space.
That is just sooooooo not acceptable."

"We're under a Code Orange alert, so we can never be too careful",
stated Sec. of State Colin Powell in an official press release.

On 24 Dec 2003 21:55:03 -0800, (Camille) wrote:

WASHINGTON 12/25/03 -- An unidentified aircraft was shot down near the
White House at approximately 23:58 EST after it failed to heed air
traffic control warnings about flying in restricted air space.

Officials have yet to identify the type of craft, but are hoping to
gather evidence from the scattered debris over and near the White
House grounds.

"Right now it's a mess", stated one member of the cleanup team.
"There's fur and wrapping paper everywhere. Thank God this happened
over the holidays, so it won't inconvenience tourists too much. We
should have it all cleaned up by Friday."

President George W. Bush praised the quick actions of the security
force. "Let this send a strong message to terrorists that we
absolutely refuse unauthorized intrusions into American air space.
That is just sooooooo not acceptable."

"We're under a Code Orange alert, so we can never be too careful",
stated Sec. of State Colin Powell in an official press release.


LOL

Poor Santa.

(Camille) wrote in news:96d7b871.0312242155.3bb68db2
@posting.google.com:

WASHINGTON 12/25/03 -- An unidentified aircraft was shot down near the
White House at approximately 23:58 EST after it failed to heed air
traffic control warnings about flying in restricted air space.

Officials have yet to identify the type of craft, but are hoping to
gather evidence from the scattered debris over and near the White
House grounds.

"Right now it's a mess", stated one member of the cleanup team.
"There's fur and wrapping paper everywhere. Thank God this happened
over the holidays, so it won't inconvenience tourists too much. We
should have it all cleaned up by Friday."

President George W. Bush praised the quick actions of the security
force. "Let this send a strong message to terrorists that we
absolutely refuse unauthorized intrusions into American air space.
That is just sooooooo not acceptable."

"We're under a Code Orange alert, so we can never be too careful",
stated Sec. of State Colin Powell in an official press release.

Well Santa goes around giving things away for free without asking for
anything in return and even if not terrorist, it is certainly subversive
activity. It is about time someone did the "Right" thing to put an end to
this menace.

On Thu, 25 Dec 2003 09:01:00 GMT, jcoulter
wrote:

(Camille) wrote in news:96d7b871.0312242155.3bb68db2
:

WASHINGTON 12/25/03 -- An unidentified aircraft was shot down near the
White House at approximately 23:58 EST after it failed to heed air
traffic control warnings about flying in restricted air space.

Officials have yet to identify the type of craft, but are hoping to
gather evidence from the scattered debris over and near the White
House grounds.

"Right now it's a mess", stated one member of the cleanup team.
"There's fur and wrapping paper everywhere. Thank God this happened
over the holidays, so it won't inconvenience tourists too much. We
should have it all cleaned up by Friday."

President George W. Bush praised the quick actions of the security
force. "Let this send a strong message to terrorists that we
absolutely refuse unauthorized intrusions into American air space.
That is just sooooooo not acceptable."

"We're under a Code Orange alert, so we can never be too careful",
stated Sec. of State Colin Powell in an official press release.

Well Santa goes around giving things away for free without asking for
anything in return and even if not terrorist, it is certainly subversive
activity. It is about time someone did the "Right" thing to put an end to
this menace.

Yes, Virginia, Saddam really is the boggyman.

Camille wrote:

[Santa parody deleted]

Here's MY Santa parody from a couple of years ago--dates updated. I
think mine is better, if I do say so myself:


26 DECEMBER 2004 -- Children around the world are mourning the tragic
death of Santa Claus, who was killed in the Christmas Eve
suicide-hijacking of his flying sleigh.

Reports indicate that shortly after Santa Claus took off from his
Workshop at the North Pole, his sleigh was commandeered
by a terrorist believed to be from al-Qaeda, who had sneaked aboard
dressed as an elf.

Using his shiny red nose, Rudolph the Reindeer signalled to
ground controllers that they were in the process of being hijacked.

U.S. Air Force fighters were scrambled from Alaska to intercept the
sleigh.
When it repeatedly refused to divert or land, the jets were
given permission to open fire, in accordance with the new U.S. policy
of shooting down hijacked aircraft. Two Sidewinder air-to-air missiles
contacted the sleigh, which exploded with a loss of all aboard.

The identity of the hijacker is not known at this time.

Critics of U.S. policy demanded an explanation of why NORAD failed to
detect the hijacking in time to prevent it. They pointed out that NORAD
has routinely tracked Santa's sleigh every Christmas Eve. A NORAD spokesman
replied that "We are used to seeing Santa make sudden course corrections
as he delivers toys to every house with good children. We did not
have any reason to believe that this latest course correction indicated
a hijacking in progress."

After an unprecedented emergency meeting on Christmas Day, the
Pentagon, FAA and Department of Homeland Security have issued a joint
statement that using a flying sleigh for worldwide transport
of toys is too vulnerable in this age of terrorism. They are planning
to meet with the elves at Santa's Workshop to discuss other ways of
delivering the toys from now on. One proposal involves the use of U.S.
Special Forces and British SAS commandos flying in helicopter
gunships which could hover over each chimney while fully armed to guard
against terrorists from beneath. Each child will be retina-scanned to
check if he's been one of the good children this year in order to
receive his or her allotment of toys. In the event of an attack from
the house beneath, the helicopters would be authorized to retaliate
against the house with air-to-ground Maverick missiles.

Santa Claus will be long remembered for well over a century of selfless
service to children worldwide. He is survived by his widow, Mrs. Claus.

-- MORE --



-- Steven L.

James Monroe wrote:

LOL

Poor Santa.

Santa Claus was obviously a left-winger, with his advocacy of
selflessness and his red suit. Explains why you feel so sorry for him.

But we are making progress in the war on terrorism. U.S. Special Forces
are tracking that evil purple dinosaur right now. We'll bring him to
justice too:


"There I was. There I was. There I was. In the Congo. At last,
after months of planning, tracking, and covert arms deals, me and my
select team of Special Forces volunteers were going to take out that
fat purple *&%$ right in his own backyard... the primeval rain forests
of the Congo River valley. We'd tracked him here on one of his
gruesome feeding rampages around the world. And this time he was
going down the big way. Cancelled.

"Sitting in ambush waiting, we prepared our weapons... Several fresh
clips slapped into the riflemen's M-16's, the SAW was loaded, Smith
checked
the ammo feed on the .50 cal, Jones and Clark loaded HE frag rounds
into their M203 grenade launchers, and I ran through (for the 10th
time) the check on the ace up our sleeve... the GLD-1001 laser target
designator which would guide in the ten tons of smart bombs ready to
be dropped from the B-52 orbiting slow circles at 35,000 feet.

"2 minutes later than expected, we heard the leaves rustling and then
got our first glimpse of the beast. Ad I lowered the crosshair to
just over Barney's reptilian heart, we heard the sound... "I love
you, you love me..."

"This is something we hadn't counted on. Barney was leading 10-15
children back to his lair to feed on them. My men looked at me
questioningly about what to do. I just shrugged; we all knew that
those poor brainwashed children were dead anyway. And a bomb is a nicer
way to go than the gnashing teeth of a Tyrannosaur...

"It was almost time. One of the riflemen picked up the detonator for
the first set of Claymore mines. Time slowed down.

"And all hell broke loose.

"The first thing I remember seeing is the damned bow around the deadly
horn as it impaled Jones. Like a bat out of hell, Baby Bop began
cutting through my men. The staccatto thunder of the .50 cal appeared
off to my left as I saw Barney dash off into the woods. all three
claymores went off but somehow didn't get him. Glancing up and seeing
Baby Bop take six rounds in the chest , I decided to lead what was
left of the team in chase after Barney.

"Rushing at us were the children, evidently brainwashed enough to try
to defend the Purple Satan by mounting a Human Wave attack against us.
Luckily two soldiers were able to collect them up without injuring
them. Those poor kids were going to need some long and painful
psychotherapy.

"The kids slowed us down long enough for Barney to get away. Chasing
him now, on his own turf, was asking for an ambush.

"Next time, Barney... next time you won't be so lucky.

[From: (Steve Waltman x71033 - DPSD)]



-- Steven L.

In article ,
(Camille) wrote:

WASHINGTON 12/25/03 -- An unidentified aircraft was shot down near the
White House at approximately 23:58 EST after it failed to heed air
traffic control warnings about flying in restricted air space.

Officials have yet to identify the type of craft, but are hoping to
gather evidence from the scattered debris over and near the White
House grounds.

"Right now it's a mess", stated one member of the cleanup team.
"There's fur and wrapping paper everywhere. Thank God this happened
over the holidays, so it won't inconvenience tourists too much. We
should have it all cleaned up by Friday."

President George W. Bush praised the quick actions of the security
force. "Let this send a strong message to terrorists that we
absolutely refuse unauthorized intrusions into American air space.
That is just sooooooo not acceptable."

"We're under a Code Orange alert, so we can never be too careful",
stated Sec. of State Colin Powell in an official press release.

"Ho Ho Ho!" sounds a lot like "ALLAH AKBAR!" from a distance, I guess.

Besides, Bush did it as revenge for all those years he got nothing but
coal in his stocking. We all know how those Bushes like to carry grudges.

In article ,
Steven Litvintchouk wrote:

Camille wrote:

[Santa parody deleted]

Here's MY Santa parody from a couple of years ago

And being thought up from the low-wattage "brain" of a repug, it wasn't
the least bit funny.

In article . 17,
jcoulter wrote:


Well Santa goes around giving things away for free without asking for
anything in return and even if not terrorist, it is certainly subversive
activity. It is about time someone did the "Right" thing to put an end to
this menace.

Next, the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future are put on a
deck of cards for their anti-corporate subversion.