An Alaskan Bear Cruise -- Our RSVP Cruise to Alaska with the Lazy Bears

An Alaskan Bear Cruise -- Our RSVP Cruise to Alaska with the Lazy
Bears

This is a review of our cruise on the ms Amsterdam Inside Passage
cruise on September 7-14, 2008. The ship was chartered by RSVP which
specializes in gay cruises. We are both in our 50's and have taken 17
previous cruises on all the major lines. This was our first RSVP
cruise, but we had enjoyed a previous Caribbean cruise some years ago
with Atlantis, another gay vacation provider. We traveled with a
number of friends as part of a group called "Lazy Bears Out To Sea"
which was composed of "bears" (AKA "big hairy gay guys") and those who
love 'em. Rob Koplin, the TA booking our group, generously donated
part of his commission to the Lazy Bear Fund non-profit charity for
community services in the SF Bay area and surrounding counties.

THE SHIP

At 61,000 tons, the Amsterdam would be considered small these days,
but has all the features found on larger ships. She has a well-
equipped showroom, a full gym, a dedicated theater -- with a show
kitchen for cooking demonstrations, and two pools (one protected by a
moveable magrodome). Launched in 2000, she is still looking great due
to Holland America's legendary care. We found her wonderfully
comfortable. She handled the 1400 passengers with grace and style.

Over the past decade, we've grown accustomed to larger and larger
ships -- but most importantly, the ship designers have gotten very
good at designing the ships to handle the increasingly large passenger
load while retaining intimate spaces and a comfortable feel. As a
result, I no longer rail against "too big" ships, while appreciating
the advantages of each size. That said, the Amsterdam felt "just
right." For this specific charter, a secondary large public room would
have been handy -- but that would not be a factor in most cases.

Passenger flow is good, There are 3 staircases and elevator banks --
so we never had to wait more than a moment for an elevator. There IS a
dead-end, midship on Deck 4 where the galley is located, making it a
bit awkward to access the main floor of the dining room -- but that's
par for the course for this size ship. Confession -- I never seem to
get oriented between fore and aft on most cruises ("now, which way is
the pointy end?") On the third day, I noticed that the HAL logos on
the cabin numbers are oriented to the ship, so if you're on a cabin
deck, just follow the logo!

The decor is pleasant with a lot of dark wood. (...yeah, I know most
of it isn't wood because of SOLAS regulations, but it looks like it)
The wraparound promenade and poolside decks are traditional teak. Many
pieces of art, artifacts and antiques aboard enrich the experience --
and thankfully the auction pieces are mostly confined to their
"gallery" so they don't interfere with the design. There is a podcast
tour of the art aboard -- which is loaded onto iPods available for
checkout from the library.
The centerpiece of the atrium is a three-story astrolabe which looks
like what Jules Verne might come up with if he was asked to design a
planet model for a science project. Interesting and beautiful.

There are many wonderful tributes to previous HAL ships incorporated
into the decor. The Ocean Bar and showroom tables have colored art
glass which clearly echo the previous Nieuw Amsterdam and the round
Rembrandt Lounge may rekindle memories of the Ambassador Lounge on the
beloved Rotterdam V. (The lighting fixtures in the Lido reminded me of
similar pieces on the previous Westerdam, but I suspect that's simply
a case of using the same supplier)

Now about those silver ladies in the Queen's Lounge showroom.... One
comic on the cruise imagined how the room came to be. He imagines that
four different designers were hired for the job and they never
bothered to look at each others' work. One said "I know we'll put
giant, silver, half-naked ladies holding a lighted bowl protruding
from all the walls, and make two of them extra large for each side of
the stage." Another said "parasols!" "We must have giant upside-down
parasols for the lighting fixtures in the ceiling." And a third....
Basically, the room looks like Joe Farcus from Carnival just couldn't
keep out of it. (I know Hans Dingemans is the HAL designer, but those
silver ladies have all the clumsy execution I expect from Farcus)

On the positive side, the sightlines are good. Seating is a mix of
"showroom sofas" for two and moveable club chairs many with small
tables. The stage is well-equipped with a turntable and number of
lifts.

Cabins were nicely laid out with one of the best bathrooms we've
encountered. HAL has bathtubs in a high proportion of their standard
cabins -- but these are tiny bathtubs. However this still gives much
more room than the shower capsules we encountered on the Star
Princess. There are a lower percentage of veranda cabins than on newer
ships, but all cabins were bright, roomy and comfortable with ample
storage space.

FOOD AND DINING

We ate most meals in the two-story La Fontaine Dining Room. For this
charter, all tables were open seating with assigned times. The room is
attractive with a couple of misfires. The lit stained glass ceiling
over the central area is supposed to recall traditional Dutch tile
design -- but it comes off as a 1970's flower power ripoff in painted
plexiglass. And the fake palm trees? Nothing says "Alaska" to me like
a palm tree. But seriously, the space is comfortable with a rich
ambiance. Notable also was the wonderful china pattern from
Rosenthal.

The food was good. Very good. Not perfect (and again, one glaring
exception noted below) but good. The high point, as usual on HAL, was
the rijstaffel, or Indonesian rice plate -- a tasty assortment of
traditional Indonesian treats. Most other items were well-prepared.
The beef was uniformly good (again, as usual on a cruise ship) but the
lamb chops ordered medium rare were well done only in temperature. I'm
a sucker for cold fruit soups on cruises and these did not
disappoint. Each night there was a desert item which is normally a
flambé, but the only thing flaming at dinner were some of my
cruisemates. (Did I say that?)

The glaring exception to this is the so-called "Master Chef's Menu
Night" or as I would call it "Missteps Chafe On You Night." It was a
disaster. First off, instead of a traditional menu, each place is set
with a chef's toque. (Now, if they had provided "tokes" from a
coffeehouse in Amsterdam, beforehand instead, the dinner might have
been more acceptable...) We were informed that the first, second and
desert courses were specially created to enhance our choices of
starter and entrée ...riiiight. And no napkins. To the sound of the
Blue Danube Waltz, all of the staff arrive waving and fluttering
napkins to place on our laps. Overdone and hokey, but all right. Next
there was an "amuse surprise" -- not an amuse bouche, and with the
description listed below, not much of a surprise either. It was a
taste of mushroom pate on a puffy pastry (brioche?). OK, fine. But
next we had to sit through another ill-planned production around the
salad course. (What's Dutch for "lame?") When that was over, we were
presented an inedible whole tomato with rusted greens and enoki
mushrooms sticking out of the top and a hint of dressing below. The
starter was advertised as a dialog of salmon tartare. It was fine.
What made it a dialog, I have no idea (I had anticipated seeing it
prepared two ways or something like that). My entrée of beef was fine.
Desert was another silly parade with some chocolate presentation.
Luckily, I like white chocolate, so my opinion of this desert was
better than that of the chocoholics at my table.

In short, leave the waiter parades for the final night and keep the
dancing and singing to Carnival. It may be revolutionary, but I expect
service people to provide service. Not entertainment. This whole
evening was totally out of character from the refined experience I
expect from HAL.

The lido buffet was good on the few lunches and breakfasts we dined
there. Thankfully, the HAL bread pudding was as good as ever!!

ACTIVITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT

Since this was a gay charter, most of the entertainment was provided
by RSVP, occasionally supplemented by HAL. I'll not comment on the non-
HAL acts. The first night we saw the production show. It was the usual
Broadway revue. The singers and dancers were very talented and they
made a few adjustments to the lyrics "Standing on the corner, watchin'
all the boys go by..." Perhaps what I liked best about this was that
there was no hokey attempt to unify the songs with a narrative or
meaning (which often becomes unintentionally hilarious -- I still
remember breaking out in uncontrollable laughter during one such
moment on the Seabourn Sun as a cast member fluttered barefoot across
the stage portraying a muse)

This trip had a number of special parties including a costume contest
that was not to be believed and a leather dance. (Packing list:
tuxedo, swimsuit, winter jacket, costume, leather harness, khakis...)
Here was one case where a larger ship would have been nice. With all
the events, a secondary large public room (much like the Vista Lounge
on recent Princess ships) would be really handy.

There were a number of lectures on Alaska wildlife and native culture
supplemented by additional presentations on estate and finance
planning for gay couples in the nicely appointed Wajang Theater (which
we renamed the Wang Chung Theater). They also offered a disappointing
cooking demonstration -- the chef seemed to forget that it was a
DEMONSTRATION. He provided minimal narration and showed a reluctance
to answer questions -- so the presentation left a lot to be desired.
The facility is great, though.

PORTS OF CALL AND EXCURSIONS

Juneau -- I believe Juneau was shortened from the original phrase "Ju
know... if we can dump a bunch of cruise passengers here, we could
sell them a load of tacky crap!" We took the "Four Glacier Helicopter
Tour with Walkabout." Amazing. As a friend said, it was like being IN
an Imax movie. Not cheap, but highly recommended. Afterwards, a local
bear (see definition above) put together a welcome party at the Viking
bar, which we were told was "straight but gay-friendly". It was a
great time and all the locals we encountered, gay and straight,
provided a warm welcome!

Sitka -- Wonderful. When we did a similar cruise in '93, this was our
favorite port. This was true again. We found some outstanding local
art in the galleries ..unlike the stuff we saw in Juneau. We took the
semi-submersible undersea adventure -- it was interesting and fun. The
weather was sunny and perfect. Others on the cruise spoke highly of
the kayaking and floatplane excursions as well.

Ketchikan -- We only were in port for the morning. We took a bus to
Totem Bight to see their exceptional totem pole collection and before
that, the Lumberjack show. The show was hokey but fun. The best part
was seeing the announcer catch herself and break up as she realized
that some of the lines in the script took on quite different double
entendres when talking to an audience of gay men. She was a great
sport and it made the event even more enjoyable.

RSVP -- AND WHAT'S WITH A "GAY CRUISE?"

Yes, this was a gay cruise. Yet, if you've read this far, you'll
notice that much of the experience was the same as for a "straight" or
non-charter cruise. RSVP and Atlantis provide cruises for primarily
gay men (although there were a couple dozen women and some straight
family members aboard). Olivia is known for lesbian vacations and
Rosie's R' Family cruises cater to gay families. In all cases, they
provide the ability to cruise with like-minded souls and the freedom
to "let loose" and not be concerned about what someone might say if
you want to give your partner an "I love you" kiss -- or to approach
another hot single in the disco without worry. While this hasn't been
a problem for us on our many "straight" cruises, it IS nice.

Gay cruising on a gay cruise. The first thing most people imagine when
they hear "gay cruise" is a bathhouse on the seas. Yes, some of that
goes on. No surprise. But mostly, it's a couples' vacation. One couple
celebrated their 48th anniversary and we've been together for 23
years. I know there were a lot of cruisers happily enjoying lots of
sex -- but the friendships and camaraderie is a more important factor
to us.

RSVP vs. Atlantis. Of the two companies, we found ourselves more
attuned to RSVP. Atlantis has a bit more "circuit party" atmosphere --
with a larger percentage of party boys tweaking on some substance or
another, whereas RSVP was a bit more sedate. With my bearish stature
RSVP seems a somewhat better fit (I love the joke I heard onboard that
"I have a washboard stomach ...I'm just doing a load of towels at the
moment.") Atlantis tends to book better known headliners, but that's
not always an advantage. On our Atlantis cruise in 2001, Deborah Harry
was such a mess that she couldn't even remember the lyrics to "Call
Me." However, these differences are only by degree and the experiences
are more alike than different. (I suspect most of contrasts were more
due to the differences between the Caribbean and Alaska itineraries
than anything else)

The gay surtax. Yes, these vacations are more expensive. They tend to
be closer to brochure prices. That's not to say that they aren't a
good value -- they are. You can see where the money goes. Extra
entertainment, extra staff aboard, etc.

THE BOTTOM LINE.

Would I recommend this (non RSVP version) cruise to a friend? Yes. HAL
is still the best line for Alaska IMHO -- and the ship is a gem.

Would I recommend a RSVP cruise to a gay friend? Again, yes. It was a
quality experience which provides a unique vacation environment.

Will our next cruise be on a gay charter? No. Aside from the fact that
we've got a special QE2-QM2 combo booked next, we're comfortable on
standard cruises and look first to the ship, itinerary and schedule.
However, I have no doubt that we'll go on another gay cruise and will
thoroughly enjoy it as much as this one.

Mark (SF) wrote:
An Alaskan Bear Cruise -- Our RSVP Cruise to Alaska with the Lazy
Bears

This is a review of our cruise on the ms Amsterdam Inside Passage
cruise on September 7-14, 2008. The ship was chartered by RSVP which
specializes in gay cruises. We are both in our 50's and have taken 17
previous cruises on all the major lines. This was our first RSVP
cruise, but we had enjoyed a previous Caribbean cruise some years ago
with Atlantis, another gay vacation provider. We traveled with a
number of friends as part of a group called "Lazy Bears Out To Sea"
which was composed of "bears" (AKA "big hairy gay guys") and those who
love 'em. Rob Koplin, the TA booking our group, generously donated
part of his commission to the Lazy Bear Fund non-profit charity for
community services in the SF Bay area and surrounding counties.

THE SHIP

At 61,000 tons, the Amsterdam would be considered small these days,
but has all the features found on larger ships. She has a well-
equipped showroom, a full gym, a dedicated theater -- with a show
kitchen for cooking demonstrations, and two pools (one protected by a
moveable magrodome). Launched in 2000, she is still looking great due
to Holland America's legendary care. We found her wonderfully
comfortable. She handled the 1400 passengers with grace and style.

Over the past decade, we've grown accustomed to larger and larger
ships -- but most importantly, the ship designers have gotten very
good at designing the ships to handle the increasingly large passenger
load while retaining intimate spaces and a comfortable feel. As a
result, I no longer rail against "too big" ships, while appreciating
the advantages of each size. That said, the Amsterdam felt "just
right." For this specific charter, a secondary large public room would
have been handy -- but that would not be a factor in most cases.

Passenger flow is good, There are 3 staircases and elevator banks --
so we never had to wait more than a moment for an elevator. There IS a
dead-end, midship on Deck 4 where the galley is located, making it a
bit awkward to access the main floor of the dining room -- but that's
par for the course for this size ship. Confession -- I never seem to
get oriented between fore and aft on most cruises ("now, which way is
the pointy end?") On the third day, I noticed that the HAL logos on
the cabin numbers are oriented to the ship, so if you're on a cabin
deck, just follow the logo!

The decor is pleasant with a lot of dark wood. (...yeah, I know most
of it isn't wood because of SOLAS regulations, but it looks like it)
The wraparound promenade and poolside decks are traditional teak. Many
pieces of art, artifacts and antiques aboard enrich the experience --
and thankfully the auction pieces are mostly confined to their
"gallery" so they don't interfere with the design. There is a podcast
tour of the art aboard -- which is loaded onto iPods available for
checkout from the library.
The centerpiece of the atrium is a three-story astrolabe which looks
like what Jules Verne might come up with if he was asked to design a
planet model for a science project. Interesting and beautiful.

There are many wonderful tributes to previous HAL ships incorporated
into the decor. The Ocean Bar and showroom tables have colored art
glass which clearly echo the previous Nieuw Amsterdam and the round
Rembrandt Lounge may rekindle memories of the Ambassador Lounge on the
beloved Rotterdam V. (The lighting fixtures in the Lido reminded me of
similar pieces on the previous Westerdam, but I suspect that's simply
a case of using the same supplier)

Now about those silver ladies in the Queen's Lounge showroom.... One
comic on the cruise imagined how the room came to be. He imagines that
four different designers were hired for the job and they never
bothered to look at each others' work. One said "I know we'll put
giant, silver, half-naked ladies holding a lighted bowl protruding
from all the walls, and make two of them extra large for each side of
the stage." Another said "parasols!" "We must have giant upside-down
parasols for the lighting fixtures in the ceiling." And a third....
Basically, the room looks like Joe Farcus from Carnival just couldn't
keep out of it. (I know Hans Dingemans is the HAL designer, but those
silver ladies have all the clumsy execution I expect from Farcus)

On the positive side, the sightlines are good. Seating is a mix of
"showroom sofas" for two and moveable club chairs many with small
tables. The stage is well-equipped with a turntable and number of
lifts.

Cabins were nicely laid out with one of the best bathrooms we've
encountered. HAL has bathtubs in a high proportion of their standard
cabins -- but these are tiny bathtubs. However this still gives much
more room than the shower capsules we encountered on the Star
Princess. There are a lower percentage of veranda cabins than on newer
ships, but all cabins were bright, roomy and comfortable with ample
storage space.

FOOD AND DINING

We ate most meals in the two-story La Fontaine Dining Room. For this
charter, all tables were open seating with assigned times. The room is
attractive with a couple of misfires. The lit stained glass ceiling
over the central area is supposed to recall traditional Dutch tile
design -- but it comes off as a 1970's flower power ripoff in painted
plexiglass. And the fake palm trees? Nothing says "Alaska" to me like
a palm tree. But seriously, the space is comfortable with a rich
ambiance. Notable also was the wonderful china pattern from
Rosenthal.

The food was good. Very good. Not perfect (and again, one glaring
exception noted below) but good. The high point, as usual on HAL, was
the rijstaffel, or Indonesian rice plate -- a tasty assortment of
traditional Indonesian treats. Most other items were well-prepared.
The beef was uniformly good (again, as usual on a cruise ship) but the
lamb chops ordered medium rare were well done only in temperature. I'm
a sucker for cold fruit soups on cruises and these did not
disappoint. Each night there was a desert item which is normally a
flambé, but the only thing flaming at dinner were some of my
cruisemates. (Did I say that?)

The glaring exception to this is the so-called "Master Chef's Menu
Night" or as I would call it "Missteps Chafe On You Night." It was a
disaster. First off, instead of a traditional menu, each place is set
with a chef's toque. (Now, if they had provided "tokes" from a
coffeehouse in Amsterdam, beforehand instead, the dinner might have
been more acceptable...) We were informed that the first, second and
desert courses were specially created to enhance our choices of
starter and entrée ...riiiight. And no napkins. To the sound of the
Blue Danube Waltz, all of the staff arrive waving and fluttering
napkins to place on our laps. Overdone and hokey, but all right. Next
there was an "amuse surprise" -- not an amuse bouche, and with the
description listed below, not much of a surprise either. It was a
taste of mushroom pate on a puffy pastry (brioche?). OK, fine. But
next we had to sit through another ill-planned production around the
salad course. (What's Dutch for "lame?") When that was over, we were
presented an inedible whole tomato with rusted greens and enoki
mushrooms sticking out of the top and a hint of dressing below. The
starter was advertised as a dialog of salmon tartare. It was fine.
What made it a dialog, I have no idea (I had anticipated seeing it
prepared two ways or something like that). My entrée of beef was fine.
Desert was another silly parade with some chocolate presentation.
Luckily, I like white chocolate, so my opinion of this desert was
better than that of the chocoholics at my table.

In short, leave the waiter parades for the final night and keep the
dancing and singing to Carnival. It may be revolutionary, but I expect
service people to provide service. Not entertainment. This whole
evening was totally out of character from the refined experience I
expect from HAL.

The lido buffet was good on the few lunches and breakfasts we dined
there. Thankfully, the HAL bread pudding was as good as ever!!

ACTIVITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT

Since this was a gay charter, most of the entertainment was provided
by RSVP, occasionally supplemented by HAL. I'll not comment on the non-
HAL acts. The first night we saw the production show. It was the usual
Broadway revue. The singers and dancers were very talented and they
made a few adjustments to the lyrics "Standing on the corner, watchin'
all the boys go by..." Perhaps what I liked best about this was that
there was no hokey attempt to unify the songs with a narrative or
meaning (which often becomes unintentionally hilarious -- I still
remember breaking out in uncontrollable laughter during one such
moment on the Seabourn Sun as a cast member fluttered barefoot across
the stage portraying a muse)

This trip had a number of special parties including a costume contest
that was not to be believed and a leather dance. (Packing list:
tuxedo, swimsuit, winter jacket, costume, leather harness, khakis...)
Here was one case where a larger ship would have been nice. With all
the events, a secondary large public room (much like the Vista Lounge
on recent Princess ships) would be really handy.

There were a number of lectures on Alaska wildlife and native culture
supplemented by additional presentations on estate and finance
planning for gay couples in the nicely appointed Wajang Theater (which
we renamed the Wang Chung Theater). They also offered a disappointing
cooking demonstration -- the chef seemed to forget that it was a
DEMONSTRATION. He provided minimal narration and showed a reluctance
to answer questions -- so the presentation left a lot to be desired.
The facility is great, though.

PORTS OF CALL AND EXCURSIONS

Juneau -- I believe Juneau was shortened from the original phrase "Ju
know... if we can dump a bunch of cruise passengers here, we could
sell them a load of tacky crap!" We took the "Four Glacier Helicopter
Tour with Walkabout." Amazing. As a friend said, it was like being IN
an Imax movie. Not cheap, but highly recommended. Afterwards, a local
bear (see definition above) put together a welcome party at the Viking
bar, which we were told was "straight but gay-friendly". It was a
great time and all the locals we encountered, gay and straight,
provided a warm welcome!

Sitka -- Wonderful. When we did a similar cruise in '93, this was our
favorite port. This was true again. We found some outstanding local
art in the galleries ..unlike the stuff we saw in Juneau. We took the
semi-submersible undersea adventure -- it was interesting and fun. The
weather was sunny and perfect. Others on the cruise spoke highly of
the kayaking and floatplane excursions as well.

Ketchikan -- We only were in port for the morning. We took a bus to
Totem Bight to see their exceptional totem pole collection and before
that, the Lumberjack show. The show was hokey but fun. The best part
was seeing the announcer catch herself and break up as she realized
that some of the lines in the script took on quite different double
entendres when talking to an audience of gay men. She was a great
sport and it made the event even more enjoyable.

RSVP -- AND WHAT'S WITH A "GAY CRUISE?"

Yes, this was a gay cruise. Yet, if you've read this far, you'll
notice that much of the experience was the same as for a "straight" or
non-charter cruise. RSVP and Atlantis provide cruises for primarily
gay men (although there were a couple dozen women and some straight
family members aboard). Olivia is known for lesbian vacations and
Rosie's R' Family cruises cater to gay families. In all cases, they
provide the ability to cruise with like-minded souls and the freedom
to "let loose" and not be concerned about what someone might say if
you want to give your partner an "I love you" kiss -- or to approach
another hot single in the disco without worry. While this hasn't been
a problem for us on our many "straight" cruises, it IS nice.

Gay cruising on a gay cruise. The first thing most people imagine when
they hear "gay cruise" is a bathhouse on the seas. Yes, some of that
goes on. No surprise. But mostly, it's a couples' vacation. One couple
celebrated their 48th anniversary and we've been together for 23
years. I know there were a lot of cruisers happily enjoying lots of
sex -- but the friendships and camaraderie is a more important factor
to us.

RSVP vs. Atlantis. Of the two companies, we found ourselves more
attuned to RSVP. Atlantis has a bit more "circuit party" atmosphere --
with a larger percentage of party boys tweaking on some substance or
another, whereas RSVP was a bit more sedate. With my bearish stature
RSVP seems a somewhat better fit (I love the joke I heard onboard that
"I have a washboard stomach ...I'm just doing a load of towels at the
moment.") Atlantis tends to book better known headliners, but that's
not always an advantage. On our Atlantis cruise in 2001, Deborah Harry
was such a mess that she couldn't even remember the lyrics to "Call
Me." However, these differences are only by degree and the experiences
are more alike than different. (I suspect most of contrasts were more
due to the differences between the Caribbean and Alaska itineraries
than anything else)

The gay surtax. Yes, these vacations are more expensive. They tend to
be closer to brochure prices. That's not to say that they aren't a
good value -- they are. You can see where the money goes. Extra
entertainment, extra staff aboard, etc.

THE BOTTOM LINE.

Would I recommend this (non RSVP version) cruise to a friend? Yes. HAL
is still the best line for Alaska IMHO -- and the ship is a gem.

Would I recommend a RSVP cruise to a gay friend? Again, yes. It was a
quality experience which provides a unique vacation environment.

Will our next cruise be on a gay charter? No. Aside from the fact that
we've got a special QE2-QM2 combo booked next, we're comfortable on
standard cruises and look first to the ship, itinerary and schedule.
However, I have no doubt that we'll go on another gay cruise and will
thoroughly enjoy it as much as this one.



Great job Mark! Very interesting. I have yet to try any of the gay
charters (Atlantis, RSVP) etc or even the Pied Piper group thing. I
always figured any cruise I'm on is a gay cruise, lol lol lol..... But
a thoughtful and well done review for a travel segment that one doesn't
necessarily come across much here on RTC.

Jeff

Thorough review of HAL, Amsterdam and of RSVP. Thanks. This is one of the
best narratives of a cruise I've read. I also appreciate the comparison
of RSVP
and Atlantis.

Mike

Mark (SF) wrote:
An Alaskan Bear Cruise -- Our RSVP Cruise to Alaska with the Lazy
Bears

This is a review of our cruise on the ms Amsterdam Inside Passage
cruise on September 7-14, 2008. The ship was chartered by RSVP which
specializes in gay cruises. We are both in our 50's and have taken 17
previous cruises on all the major lines. This was our first RSVP
cruise, but we had enjoyed a previous Caribbean cruise some years ago
with Atlantis, another gay vacation provider. We traveled with a
number of friends as part of a group called "Lazy Bears Out To Sea"
which was composed of "bears" (AKA "big hairy gay guys") and those who
love 'em. Rob Koplin, the TA booking our group, generously donated
part of his commission to the Lazy Bear Fund non-profit charity for
community services in the SF Bay area and surrounding counties.

THE SHIP

At 61,000 tons, the Amsterdam would be considered small these days,
but has all the features found on larger ships. She has a well-
equipped showroom, a full gym, a dedicated theater -- with a show
kitchen for cooking demonstrations, and two pools (one protected by a
moveable magrodome). Launched in 2000, she is still looking great due
to Holland America's legendary care. We found her wonderfully
comfortable. She handled the 1400 passengers with grace and style.

Over the past decade, we've grown accustomed to larger and larger
ships -- but most importantly, the ship designers have gotten very
good at designing the ships to handle the increasingly large passenger
load while retaining intimate spaces and a comfortable feel. As a
result, I no longer rail against "too big" ships, while appreciating
the advantages of each size. That said, the Amsterdam felt "just
right." For this specific charter, a secondary large public room would
have been handy -- but that would not be a factor in most cases.

Passenger flow is good, There are 3 staircases and elevator banks --
so we never had to wait more than a moment for an elevator. There IS a
dead-end, midship on Deck 4 where the galley is located, making it a
bit awkward to access the main floor of the dining room -- but that's
par for the course for this size ship. Confession -- I never seem to
get oriented between fore and aft on most cruises ("now, which way is
the pointy end?") On the third day, I noticed that the HAL logos on
the cabin numbers are oriented to the ship, so if you're on a cabin
deck, just follow the logo!

The decor is pleasant with a lot of dark wood. (...yeah, I know most
of it isn't wood because of SOLAS regulations, but it looks like it)
The wraparound promenade and poolside decks are traditional teak. Many
pieces of art, artifacts and antiques aboard enrich the experience --
and thankfully the auction pieces are mostly confined to their
"gallery" so they don't interfere with the design. There is a podcast
tour of the art aboard -- which is loaded onto iPods available for
checkout from the library.
The centerpiece of the atrium is a three-story astrolabe which looks
like what Jules Verne might come up with if he was asked to design a
planet model for a science project. Interesting and beautiful.

There are many wonderful tributes to previous HAL ships incorporated
into the decor. The Ocean Bar and showroom tables have colored art
glass which clearly echo the previous Nieuw Amsterdam and the round
Rembrandt Lounge may rekindle memories of the Ambassador Lounge on the
beloved Rotterdam V. (The lighting fixtures in the Lido reminded me of
similar pieces on the previous Westerdam, but I suspect that's simply
a case of using the same supplier)

Now about those silver ladies in the Queen's Lounge showroom.... One
comic on the cruise imagined how the room came to be. He imagines that
four different designers were hired for the job and they never
bothered to look at each others' work. One said "I know we'll put
giant, silver, half-naked ladies holding a lighted bowl protruding
from all the walls, and make two of them extra large for each side of
the stage." Another said "parasols!" "We must have giant upside-down
parasols for the lighting fixtures in the ceiling." And a third....
Basically, the room looks like Joe Farcus from Carnival just couldn't
keep out of it. (I know Hans Dingemans is the HAL designer, but those
silver ladies have all the clumsy execution I expect from Farcus)

On the positive side, the sightlines are good. Seating is a mix of
"showroom sofas" for two and moveable club chairs many with small
tables. The stage is well-equipped with a turntable and number of
lifts.

Cabins were nicely laid out with one of the best bathrooms we've
encountered. HAL has bathtubs in a high proportion of their standard
cabins -- but these are tiny bathtubs. However this still gives much
more room than the shower capsules we encountered on the Star
Princess. There are a lower percentage of veranda cabins than on newer
ships, but all cabins were bright, roomy and comfortable with ample
storage space.

FOOD AND DINING

We ate most meals in the two-story La Fontaine Dining Room. For this
charter, all tables were open seating with assigned times. The room is
attractive with a couple of misfires. The lit stained glass ceiling
over the central area is supposed to recall traditional Dutch tile
design -- but it comes off as a 1970's flower power ripoff in painted
plexiglass. And the fake palm trees? Nothing says "Alaska" to me like
a palm tree. But seriously, the space is comfortable with a rich
ambiance. Notable also was the wonderful china pattern from
Rosenthal.

The food was good. Very good. Not perfect (and again, one glaring
exception noted below) but good. The high point, as usual on HAL, was
the rijstaffel, or Indonesian rice plate -- a tasty assortment of
traditional Indonesian treats. Most other items were well-prepared.
The beef was uniformly good (again, as usual on a cruise ship) but the
lamb chops ordered medium rare were well done only in temperature. I'm
a sucker for cold fruit soups on cruises and these did not
disappoint. Each night there was a desert item which is normally a
flambé, but the only thing flaming at dinner were some of my
cruisemates. (Did I say that?)

The glaring exception to this is the so-called "Master Chef's Menu
Night" or as I would call it "Missteps Chafe On You Night." It was a
disaster. First off, instead of a traditional menu, each place is set
with a chef's toque. (Now, if they had provided "tokes" from a
coffeehouse in Amsterdam, beforehand instead, the dinner might have
been more acceptable...) We were informed that the first, second and
desert courses were specially created to enhance our choices of
starter and entrée ...riiiight. And no napkins. To the sound of the
Blue Danube Waltz, all of the staff arrive waving and fluttering
napkins to place on our laps. Overdone and hokey, but all right. Next
there was an "amuse surprise" -- not an amuse bouche, and with the
description listed below, not much of a surprise either. It was a
taste of mushroom pate on a puffy pastry (brioche?). OK, fine. But
next we had to sit through another ill-planned production around the
salad course. (What's Dutch for "lame?") When that was over, we were
presented an inedible whole tomato with rusted greens and enoki
mushrooms sticking out of the top and a hint of dressing below. The
starter was advertised as a dialog of salmon tartare. It was fine.
What made it a dialog, I have no idea (I had anticipated seeing it
prepared two ways or something like that). My entrée of beef was fine.
Desert was another silly parade with some chocolate presentation.
Luckily, I like white chocolate, so my opinion of this desert was
better than that of the chocoholics at my table.

In short, leave the waiter parades for the final night and keep the
dancing and singing to Carnival. It may be revolutionary, but I expect
service people to provide service. Not entertainment. This whole
evening was totally out of character from the refined experience I
expect from HAL.

The lido buffet was good on the few lunches and breakfasts we dined
there. Thankfully, the HAL bread pudding was as good as ever!!

ACTIVITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT

Since this was a gay charter, most of the entertainment was provided
by RSVP, occasionally supplemented by HAL. I'll not comment on the non-
HAL acts. The first night we saw the production show. It was the usual
Broadway revue. The singers and dancers were very talented and they
made a few adjustments to the lyrics "Standing on the corner, watchin'
all the boys go by..." Perhaps what I liked best about this was that
there was no hokey attempt to unify the songs with a narrative or
meaning (which often becomes unintentionally hilarious -- I still
remember breaking out in uncontrollable laughter during one such
moment on the Seabourn Sun as a cast member fluttered barefoot across
the stage portraying a muse)

This trip had a number of special parties including a costume contest
that was not to be believed and a leather dance. (Packing list:
tuxedo, swimsuit, winter jacket, costume, leather harness, khakis...)
Here was one case where a larger ship would have been nice. With all
the events, a secondary large public room (much like the Vista Lounge
on recent Princess ships) would be really handy.

There were a number of lectures on Alaska wildlife and native culture
supplemented by additional presentations on estate and finance
planning for gay couples in the nicely appointed Wajang Theater (which
we renamed the Wang Chung Theater). They also offered a disappointing
cooking demonstration -- the chef seemed to forget that it was a
DEMONSTRATION. He provided minimal narration and showed a reluctance
to answer questions -- so the presentation left a lot to be desired.
The facility is great, though.

PORTS OF CALL AND EXCURSIONS

Juneau -- I believe Juneau was shortened from the original phrase "Ju
know... if we can dump a bunch of cruise passengers here, we could
sell them a load of tacky crap!" We took the "Four Glacier Helicopter
Tour with Walkabout." Amazing. As a friend said, it was like being IN
an Imax movie. Not cheap, but highly recommended. Afterwards, a local
bear (see definition above) put together a welcome party at the Viking
bar, which we were told was "straight but gay-friendly". It was a
great time and all the locals we encountered, gay and straight,
provided a warm welcome!

Sitka -- Wonderful. When we did a similar cruise in '93, this was our
favorite port. This was true again. We found some outstanding local
art in the galleries ..unlike the stuff we saw in Juneau. We took the
semi-submersible undersea adventure -- it was interesting and fun. The
weather was sunny and perfect. Others on the cruise spoke highly of
the kayaking and floatplane excursions as well.

Ketchikan -- We only were in port for the morning. We took a bus to
Totem Bight to see their exceptional totem pole collection and before
that, the Lumberjack show. The show was hokey but fun. The best part
was seeing the announcer catch herself and break up as she realized
that some of the lines in the script took on quite different double
entendres when talking to an audience of gay men. She was a great
sport and it made the event even more enjoyable.

RSVP -- AND WHAT'S WITH A "GAY CRUISE?"

Yes, this was a gay cruise. Yet, if you've read this far, you'll
notice that much of the experience was the same as for a "straight" or
non-charter cruise. RSVP and Atlantis provide cruises for primarily
gay men (although there were a couple dozen women and some straight
family members aboard). Olivia is known for lesbian vacations and
Rosie's R' Family cruises cater to gay families. In all cases, they
provide the ability to cruise with like-minded souls and the freedom
to "let loose" and not be concerned about what someone might say if
you want to give your partner an "I love you" kiss -- or to approach
another hot single in the disco without worry. While this hasn't been
a problem for us on our many "straight" cruises, it IS nice.

Gay cruising on a gay cruise. The first thing most people imagine when
they hear "gay cruise" is a bathhouse on the seas. Yes, some of that
goes on. No surprise. But mostly, it's a couples' vacation. One couple
celebrated their 48th anniversary and we've been together for 23
years. I know there were a lot of cruisers happily enjoying lots of
sex -- but the friendships and camaraderie is a more important factor
to us.

RSVP vs. Atlantis. Of the two companies, we found ourselves more
attuned to RSVP. Atlantis has a bit more "circuit party" atmosphere --
with a larger percentage of party boys tweaking on some substance or
another, whereas RSVP was a bit more sedate. With my bearish stature
RSVP seems a somewhat better fit (I love the joke I heard onboard that
"I have a washboard stomach ...I'm just doing a load of towels at the
moment.") Atlantis tends to book better known headliners, but that's
not always an advantage. On our Atlantis cruise in 2001, Deborah Harry
was such a mess that she couldn't even remember the lyrics to "Call
Me." However, these differences are only by degree and the experiences
are more alike than different. (I suspect most of contrasts were more
due to the differences between the Caribbean and Alaska itineraries
than anything else)

The gay surtax. Yes, these vacations are more expensive. They tend to
be closer to brochure prices. That's not to say that they aren't a
good value -- they are. You can see where the money goes. Extra
entertainment, extra staff aboard, etc.

THE BOTTOM LINE.

Would I recommend this (non RSVP version) cruise to a friend? Yes. HAL
is still the best line for Alaska IMHO -- and the ship is a gem.

Would I recommend a RSVP cruise to a gay friend? Again, yes. It was a
quality experience which provides a unique vacation environment.

Will our next cruise be on a gay charter? No. Aside from the fact that
we've got a special QE2-QM2 combo booked next, we're comfortable on
standard cruises and look first to the ship, itinerary and schedule.
However, I have no doubt that we'll go on another gay cruise and will
thoroughly enjoy it as much as this one.

Interestingly enough, Cruise Critic refused this review because it had
numerous reference to the crusie provider. I could easily remove the
TA credit, but taking the RSVP brand out of the review would render it
meaningless. (Interesting that there was a Cruise Critic get-together
on the daily program one day - but I didn't bother)

....oh - I forgot the best part of he cruise. I won $249 at bingo! (HAL
charges a reasonable price of $20 for 3 squares, 4 games in comparison
to the absurd charges I found on NCL in January).

Mark

On Sep 18, 1:50 am, "Mark (SF)" wrote:
taking the RSVP brand out of the review would render it
meaningless.

But they do allow roll calls for RSVP or Atlantis in the subject line
on their message boards. And they will allow thinly (and not so
thinly) disguised ethnic slurs to appear in member reviews. Go figure.

Sometimes I'm surprised that they allow the names of the cruise lines
to be mentioned.

Very nice review, Mark. Bingo? Who knew?!

Warren

On 9/18/2007 9:10 AM Warren consulted a Magic 8 Ball and declared:
On Sep 18, 1:50 am, "Mark (SF)" wrote:

taking the RSVP brand out of the review would render it
meaningless.


But they do allow roll calls for RSVP or Atlantis in the subject line
on their message boards. And they will allow thinly (and not so
thinly) disguised ethnic slurs to appear in member reviews. Go figure.

Sometimes I'm surprised that they allow the names of the cruise lines
to be mentioned.

Very nice review, Mark. Bingo? Who knew?!

Warren


Last time I was on ms Amsterdam, the specialty dining room was called
The Pinnacle Dining Room. Did they change it? Also the Queen's Room is
a specialty meeting room and theater. The main theater is called the
Vista Lounge and is two levels. The main dining room was called The
Vista Dining Room. Have these things changed names? In the main dining
room, at least you were spared "Dutch Night". Dutch food is not
something I find tasty at all. And those silly "Dutch" hats that
everyone is expected to wear. Thank God they've done away with that on
most of HAL ships.

One thing that I find handy in determining Forward and Aft on a ship is
it's motion. If you stand still for a moment then begin to walk you can
sense if you are moving forward with the ship or against the forward
motion. It's a sense that I feel can be developed in most people.

Interesting review. You touched on some things like the "Logos" and the
Astrolabe that most people don't mention. I particularly enjoyed
viewing the Astrolabe from different places in the Atrium even
underneath. Each viewpoint shows another aspect of the Astrolabe.

--
________
To email me, Edit "blog" from my email address.
Brian M. Kochera
"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!"
View My Web Page: http://home.earthlink.net/~brian1951

On Sep 19, 12:12 am, Brian K wrote:
On 9/18/2007 9:10 AM Warren consulted a Magic 8 Ball and declared:

On Sep 18, 1:50 am, "Mark (SF)" wrote:

taking the RSVP brand out of the review would render it
meaningless.

But they do allow roll calls for RSVP or Atlantis in the subject line
on their message boards. And they will allow thinly (and not so
thinly) disguised ethnic slurs to appear in member reviews. Go figure.

Sometimes I'm surprised that they allow the names of the cruise lines
to be mentioned.

Very nice review, Mark. Bingo? Who knew?!

Warren

Last time I was on ms Amsterdam, the specialty dining room was called
The Pinnacle Dining Room. Did they change it? Also the Queen's Room is
a specialty meeting room and theater. The main theater is called the
Vista Lounge and is two levels. The main dining room was called The
Vista Dining Room. Have these things changed names? In the main dining
room, at least you were spared "Dutch Night". Dutch food is not
something I find tasty at all. And those silly "Dutch" hats that
everyone is expected to wear. Thank God they've done away with that on
most of HAL ships.

One thing that I find handy in determining Forward and Aft on a ship is
it's motion. If you stand still for a moment then begin to walk you can
sense if you are moving forward with the ship or against the forward
motion. It's a sense that I feel can be developed in most people.

Interesting review. You touched on some things like the "Logos" and the
Astrolabe that most people don't mention. I particularly enjoyed
viewing the Astrolabe from different places in the Atrium even
underneath. Each viewpoint shows another aspect of the Astrolabe.

--
________
To email me, Edit "blog" from my email address.
Brian M. Kochera
"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!"
View My Web Page:http://home.earthlink.net/~brian1951

Not that it makes much difference discussing the names of the public
rooms and their lineage but...

Perhaps you're thinking of a Vista class ship (Zuiderdam, Noordam,
Westerdam, Oosterdam, Eurodam)? Checking the deck plans I see the
Vista name common for both the showroom and restaurant. On the
Amsterdam, however, I am certain that the big dining room is the La
Fontaine Dining Room (as it has been on many HAL ships through the
years including the previous Rotterdam). The specialty restaurant,
probably WAS formerly called the Odyssey (the name of the OTHER dining
room on the old Rotterdam) - but I believe they changed the menu and
price fleetwide when renaming to the Pinnacle Grill a few years ago -
perhaps in conjunction with their Signatures of Excellence campaign.
The showroom is the Queen's Lounge (again as on previous Rotterdams )
- but perhaps was something else formerly, and as you noted, the Kings
and Queens Rooms are the semi-private annexes to the upstairs the
dining room.

I pretty much assume on a HAL ship I'll see: Crow's Nest, Lido,
Pinnacle Grill, Explorer's Lounge and Ocean Bar - and the Rosario
Strings.

Mark (SF) wrote:

I pretty much assume on a HAL ship I'll see: Crow's Nest, Lido,
Pinnacle Grill, Explorer's Lounge and Ocean Bar - and the Rosario
Strings.


Alas, no more Rosario Strings. I just got off the Veendam from
Copenhagen to NY and there was a female trio in the Explorer's Lounge
after dinner. They played lovely classical music but it just wasn't the
same.

I also had pretty good luck with Bingo. Won 4 times for a total of about
$350. The guy sitting behind me won the free cruise bingo and his mother
won the free cruise drawing. Talk about coincidence!!! At least they
didn't win the Snowball. After almost 18 days it was $3,240 and it went
to one winner. At least it was someone who showed up for Bingo everyday
and not someone who waited until the last game to play.

Booked on the E-dam maiden voyage and Rotterdam Med, Black Sea and Holy
Lands for next year. Any chance you will be on one of those?

Joyce

On Sep 19, 3:12 am, Brian K wrote:

Last time I was on ms Amsterdam, the specialty dining room was called
The Pinnacle Dining Room. Did they change it? Also the Queen's Room is
a specialty meeting room and theater. The main theater is called the
Vista Lounge and is two levels. The main dining room was called The
Vista Dining Room. Have these things changed names?


Other than the change to Pinnacle Grill from Odyssey, I don't think
the other public room names have changed (as I recall from touring the
ship when she was making her NY debut).

Check out the deck plans:

http://www.hollandamerica.com/fleet/...ck=p&year=next

On Sep 19, 10:39 am, JoyceR wrote:
Mark (SF) wrote:
I pretty much assume on a HAL ship I'll see: Crow's Nest, Lido,
Pinnacle Grill, Explorer's Lounge and Ocean Bar - and the Rosario
Strings.

Alas, no more Rosario Strings. I just got off the Veendam from
Copenhagen to NY and there was a female trio in the Explorer's Lounge
after dinner. They played lovely classical music but it just wasn't the
same.

I also had pretty good luck with Bingo. Won 4 times for a total of about
$350. The guy sitting behind me won the free cruise bingo and his mother
won the free cruise drawing. Talk about coincidence!!! At least they
didn't win the Snowball. After almost 18 days it was $3,240 and it went
to one winner. At least it was someone who showed up for Bingo everyday
and not someone who waited until the last game to play.

Booked on the E-dam maiden voyage and Rotterdam Med, Black Sea and Holy
Lands for next year. Any chance you will be on one of those?

Joyce

Congratulations, Joyce!

Will the E-dam be your first Vista Class cruise? I'll be interested
to hear about it. Alas, we won't be able to join you. But don't cry
for me, Ike and Tina. (bad old pun) -- we're booked instead for QE2-
QM2 Rome-Southampton-NY double-header in May-June of '08. I HAVE been
thinking about a Baltic cruise in '09, though -- and HAL is on our
short list ('though I'll also be looking at Celebrity and Oceania) -
are you all "Baltic'ed out?"