Avoid the Subway Chipotle ****

If you were that full of sh*t, maybe you needed a good purgative......
;-) Go drink a bottle of Magnesium citrate. That ought to finish
flushing the sh*t out within a day.

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Om.

In article , "Anthony"
wrote:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I went
to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway inside.
Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I decide
to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL.

So I says to the lady at the counter, yo babe, what's good? She recommends
the Chipotle Southwestern. Okay, I says, sounds good. I get home and I
cuddle on the couch with my footlong, chips, and a nice Dr. Pepper. Takes a
while to wolf that thing down.

Later on that night, the trouble starts. Wake up a 3am with a nasty stomach
ache. Go to the bathroom and take a nice dump. Nice, but not memorable.
The next day, BOOM! It hits me. I'm making trips to the toilet every two
hours. By now, the **** is really starting to stink like something died. I
can't stop ****ting and the **** is this sticky, tarry stuff that gets
everywhere and you wipe and wipe and wipe and the more you wipe the more of
the stuff there is.

This **** is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

By now it's Monday and I'm down to bathroom trips every three hours. It's
still taking half a roll of the double Charim rolls per each **** session
and I'm having to moisten the toilet paper before I wipe, my raw ass can't
take it dry anymore. And the stuff is still stinking like a weapon of mass
destruction. I've never had **** stink so bad in my life! What the hell do
they put in that chipotle sauce??? I'm thinking of taking some samples down
to that Subway place today and asking them what the hell they put in it.

Man, now I wonder how Jarred did his Subway diet thing for a year. If that
story is true, he must have stayed in the bathroom the whole 12 months!

As for me, I don't think I'll be going back to Subway any time soon.
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

If you were that full of sh*t, maybe you needed a good purgative......
;-) Go drink a bottle of Magnesium citrate. That ought to finish
flushing the sh*t out within a day.

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Om.

In article , "Anthony"
wrote:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I went
to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway inside.
Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I decide
to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL.

So I says to the lady at the counter, yo babe, what's good? She recommends
the Chipotle Southwestern. Okay, I says, sounds good. I get home and I
cuddle on the couch with my footlong, chips, and a nice Dr. Pepper. Takes a
while to wolf that thing down.

Later on that night, the trouble starts. Wake up a 3am with a nasty stomach
ache. Go to the bathroom and take a nice dump. Nice, but not memorable.
The next day, BOOM! It hits me. I'm making trips to the toilet every two
hours. By now, the **** is really starting to stink like something died. I
can't stop ****ting and the **** is this sticky, tarry stuff that gets
everywhere and you wipe and wipe and wipe and the more you wipe the more of
the stuff there is.

This **** is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

By now it's Monday and I'm down to bathroom trips every three hours. It's
still taking half a roll of the double Charim rolls per each **** session
and I'm having to moisten the toilet paper before I wipe, my raw ass can't
take it dry anymore. And the stuff is still stinking like a weapon of mass
destruction. I've never had **** stink so bad in my life! What the hell do
they put in that chipotle sauce??? I'm thinking of taking some samples down
to that Subway place today and asking them what the hell they put in it.

Man, now I wonder how Jarred did his Subway diet thing for a year. If that
story is true, he must have stayed in the bathroom the whole 12 months!

As for me, I don't think I'll be going back to Subway any time soon.
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article ,
OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

People often think the food made them sick when they catch a 24 or
48 hour clipper like this. The truth is that they could have picked
this bug up just about anywhere, and the food was just coincidental.
You rarely get this sick that quickly after eating something. More
likely, the guy picked up the bug a day or two earlier, and the
bug just hit critical mass and overwhelmed his defenses.

This **** is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.
That could be an indicator of something like colon cancer or a
rupture somewhere. The original poster might want to get this
checked out. The Subway again could have been a coincidence, and
this problem was brewing for a while.

-john-

--
================================================== ====================
John A. Weeks III 952-432-2708
Newave Communications http://www.johnweeks.com
================================================== ====================

In article ,
OmManiPadmeOmelet says...
If you were that full of sh*t, maybe you needed a good purgative......
;-) Go drink a bottle of Magnesium citrate. That ought to finish
flushing the sh*t out within a day.

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Complain to your local health inspectors, not us. A pattern of
complaints from other sufferers will quickly identify the source (sic).

Subway sells this sub flavour widely. I recently had one here in
Australia and suffered no ill effects. I dare say that millions of other
customers can report the same of the chipotle sub.

It's not the variety of sub, obviously, otherwise it wouldn't still be
on the market. Maybe it's one particular restaurant, or employee, but
unlikely they could go for any time without being identified.

Let us know how it comes out.

Oh. You did.

"John A. Weeks III" wrote in message
...
In article ,
OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
This **** is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff,
and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER
DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.

Generally, a bleed will produce black stool.

Gabby

"john" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 21 Feb 2005 14:31:34 -0500, George
wrote:

Anthony wrote:
If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at
all
costs!


Actually I prefer to avoid subway period. We have two local mom & pop
delis that make much better subs and as a little bonus they are less
expensive.

May I ask why the **** your posting this to rec.travel.air?

You should have just sent it to alt.tasteless which I presume you are
a frequent contributor.

and is there a particular reason why YOU posted to 5 newsgroups? we don't
want it either.

In article ,
says...

"John A. Weeks III" wrote in message
...
In article ,
OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
This **** is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff,
and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER
DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.

Generally, a bleed will produce black stool.

Indeed. Eat nothing but tomato and carrot foodstuffs for a couple of
days and watch the colors go reddish orange.

John A. Weeks III wrote:
OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

People often think the food made them sick when they catch a 24 or
48 hour clipper like this. The truth is that they could have picked
this bug up just about anywhere, and the food was just coincidental.
You rarely get this sick that quickly after eating something. More
likely, the guy picked up the bug a day or two earlier, and the
bug just hit critical mass and overwhelmed his defenses.

You're 100-percent correct. Just because he pruchased a
questionable meal at a questionable establishment, doesn't mean
it was the cause of his troubles. My guess is that there's probably
only a likelihood of say, oh about, 99.99999999-percent that the food
is the problem.

Bobbi

---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)

On Mon, 21 Feb 2005 21:46:50 GMT, "AllEmailDeletedImmediately"
wrote:


"john" wrote in message
.. .
On Mon, 21 Feb 2005 14:31:34 -0500, George
wrote:

Anthony wrote:
If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at
all
costs!


Actually I prefer to avoid subway period. We have two local mom & pop
delis that make much better subs and as a little bonus they are less
expensive.

May I ask why the **** your posting this to rec.travel.air?

You should have just sent it to alt.tasteless which I presume you are
a frequent contributor.

and is there a particular reason why YOU posted to 5 newsgroups? we don't
want it either.


Maybe you can tell me how I would know WHICH of the five groups sent
the message?

"Gabby" wrote in message
...

"John A. Weeks III" wrote in message
...


Generally, a bleed will produce black stool.

Gabby



Depends on where the "bleed" originates; it can be black or red-colored. At
least that is what I was told 15 years ago.

Tom