GFYF: Rail Ticket Inspectors

Where the **** do British Rail Companies find their 'Revenue Protection
Staff'. Obviously too thick to join the police, too stupid even to get a job
as a security guard at a supermarket. But, give them a hat, and a note pad,
and the power goes straight to their head. Add to the equation that they
only get around 30 seconds training on the complexities of the very complex
ticketing system over here, which intelligent people can barely understand,
and you have a recipe for disaster.
Anyway.. I caught the 10.34 Virgin service to Oxford as I normally do
Thursdays as my works hosting company is based their and I need to make sure
they havn't cocked anything up (that is another GFYF story).
It is a fairly little known fact that if you hold an Annual 'Gold' Season
ticket, as I do from Winchester to London, this entitles you to a First
Class Upgrade for the measly sum of £3.00. So I purchase my ticket and
upgrade, jump on the train, sit in my nice comfy first class seat, and start
tucking into my free full english breakfast.
Now usually it is the guard who checks tickets, and having a little more
intelligence and experience, they are familiar with 'strange' ticket
combinations. BUT today, the train was swarmed by Revenue protection
officers 'ticket pigs' as they affectionately known here.
They look at my tickets, and look somewhat confused, then retort that they
are not valid. I say they are, and they reply you have to pay DOUBLE the
full first class fare + a penalty fare. about £150 in total. I tell them to
GO **** THEMSELVES, and I am threatened with arrest at the next stop. To
which I reply 'If you want to make yourself look like pricks please go
ahead'. so a phone call is made, and lo and behold 2 policemen get on the
train at Reading.
I explain to the police that I am being harrassed by ill informed inspectors
and suggest that the guard is called. (I didn't do this previously, as I
wanted these guys to look like even bigger pricks than they are).
The guard tells every one my tickets are valid. the police give the ticket
pigs **** for wasting their time, the guard gives them **** for delaying the
train.
It was absolutley priceless watching their faces just sink to the ground.
I wonder how many people actually pay the penalty just to avoid a scene???