Thai-ing the Knot (farang marriages)

Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.

ThAI women are noted for their warmth, beauty, grace, charm and
loyalty. Perhaps that's why so many British men find them
irresistible. In many cases, that longing translates into marriage.
This is now such a common practice that the Land of Smiles must surely
lead the way in global dating. It's a modern social phenomenon.

Availability

So many Thai women are in or have escaped unhappy marriages. They have
a fantasy that things will be better with a farang (foreigner). This is
enhanced by the mutual availability of unhappily married or lonely,
single Western men.

Not all men who beat the hot trail to Thailand seek simple
gratification in the bars of Bangkok or Pattaya. They are looking for
something better, a loving and beautiful wife.

Myths and illusions

Western men go for Thai women because they know how to take care of
their husbands . . . but there can be pitfalls. - Picture by K.T. GOH
The Western woman has given up the idea of being a devoted housewife
and so the farang believes the Thai lady will do a much better job of
looking after his needs. Indeed, she probably will as she has been
brought up to take care of her husband and keep the house in order.

Even when Thai women work, they are still happy to look after their
men. In fact, the concept of a Western-style marriage is rather new.
This may explain the philandering spirit of many Thai men, known by
their womenfolk as butterflies. But the whole game of dating
Thailand's beautiful women can be fraught with illusion and
misunderstanding.

Many Western men come to Thailand knowing nothing of Thai culture and
takes little trouble to find out. He heads straight for the bars and
then makes a messy business of marrying a bar girl.

He takes her back to his country where, in many cases, she feels like a
fish out of water. And then he's surprised when his whole house is
taken over by her family. For Thais, loyalty to the family is paramount
and sometimes the unsuspecting farang husband can become overwhelmed by
it.

Happy with older men

Another reason the farang heads for Thailand to find a wife is because
he has heard that Thai women are happy with older men. I know a
delightful Englishman in his mid-60s who is happily married to a young
lady half his age. This marriage is working because he has taken
enormous trouble to learn about Thai culture and to develop his
relationship with compassion and understanding. It helps, too, that
they now live in Thailand.

In fact, a Western-Thai relationship will only work if the farang
mellows his harsh Western ways and bows to the Thai way of doing
things. If not, he will get very frustrated. Openness and patience are
essential . . . never show your anger.

One argumentative 60-something Yorkshire man was surprised when he was
confronted by his wife with a knife in her hands. He thought it was
time to wind up the marriage there and then. It was never going to
work.

Marriage is about more than sex

Falling in love is about sexual chemistry and, of course, one of the
great attractions is the misconception that Thai women are sexually
free. Yet, although Thailand is a free and easy society on the surface,
not all is as it seems.

Few eligible Thai women are bar girls whose economic circumstances
force them to exchange money for sex. The farang, who thinks that the
average Thai lady will bed down with him on their first date, is in for
a rude awakening.

Take the case of the young Thai lady who arrived at London Airport,
having been matched with a Brit, only to discover that her new man
wanted to have sex even before he got her home. She fled in disgust to
the agent who desperately tried to find her another partner. So much
for cross-cultural understanding.

Money misunderstandings

Money. This is probably the biggest cause of all misunderstanding. The
exchange rates make the farang appear a rich man when he is in Thailand
and the Thai lady is often deceived by this illusion of wealth. Little
does she realise that, back in his own country, where the cost of
living may be three or four times as much, her man has a very ordinary
income.

In addition, many Thai ladies have a simplistic idea of how to use
money: they believe that, if it's there, it's to be spent; no
budgeting, no saving. And, credit cards, well, they can be lethal.

There was the German who married a Thai and was posted to North Korea
while she remained in Bangkok. He made the mistake of leaving her with
his credit card and was then surprised when his German bank phoned him
and asked why he was =A320,000 (RM140,000) overdrawn.

End of marriage. Yet, who was to blame?

Where you have the heady combination of infatuation and money, there
lies a recipe for many a tragicomic story.

Take the case of the Briton, a married man with a family back home, who
visited Thailand and fell in love with a beautiful Chiang Mai girl.
When he returned to the UK, he gave her an allowance of =A31,500 a
month.

Well, don't be surprised that it went to her head and she began to
ask for more. There he was, paying her all this money and trying to
make ends meet in the most expensive country in the European Union.

And, when a friend suggested he should fly out to resolve the
situation, the silly man had to explain that he no longer had enough
money to pay for an air ticket.

Patience is a virtue

A cross-cultural relationship is full of hurdles that need to be jumped
with care. If not, the fall can be heavy. At the start, there is so
much myth and illusion that need to be swept away before any normal
relationship can begin.

A wise American friend of mine took two years to woo his Thai lady and
it has taken a further five difficult years to make it a successful
one. =20

There's a lesson in that. W

six-toes wrote:
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.


Easy.....Thai people are warm and considerate. They are also cheap
(relatively speaking).

"Xtile" wrote in message
news:1108420449.d27173141d3cb0efd5dcffcf20b95f8e@t eranews...
six-toes wrote:
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.


Easy.....Thai people are warm and considerate. They are also cheap
(relatively speaking).

More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap.

"PeterL" wrote in message
...

"Xtile" wrote in message
news:1108420449.d27173141d3cb0efd5dcffcf20b95f8e@t eranews...
six-toes wrote:
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.


Easy.....Thai people are warm and considerate. They are also cheap
(relatively speaking).

More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap.

Uh! Why? Do you mean that all the guys posting here and happily married to a
Thai woman are cheap?
Sandy, Nick, Alex, Carlos, John, etc... and me :-(
Please elaborate.

"Daniel" wrote:
"PeterL" wrote in message
"Xtile" wrote in message
six-toes wrote:
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.

Easy.....Thai people are warm and considerate. They are also cheap
(relatively speaking).

More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap.

Uh! Why? Do you mean that all the guys posting here and happily married
to a Thai woman are cheap?
Sandy, Nick, Alex, Carlos, John, etc... and me :-(
Please elaborate.

15 years this April. I'm happy, she's happy. Money has never been as issue.

--
Nick. To help with tsunami relief, go to: http://usafreedomcorps.gov/


Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops. You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! !

Interesting I am also involved with a Thai Girl and would like to bring her
home (Canada) but I am concerned that the culture shock could be too great.
any thoughts on this. My living in Thailand is not a real possibility as I
am still relatively young and need to continue to build my massive wealth
(as im sure all of you have JK)
"six-toes" wrote in message
oups.com...
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.

ThAI women are noted for their warmth, beauty, grace, charm and
loyalty. Perhaps that's why so many British men find them
irresistible. In many cases, that longing translates into marriage.
This is now such a common practice that the Land of Smiles must surely
lead the way in global dating. It's a modern social phenomenon.

Availability

So many Thai women are in or have escaped unhappy marriages. They have
a fantasy that things will be better with a farang (foreigner). This is
enhanced by the mutual availability of unhappily married or lonely,
single Western men.

Not all men who beat the hot trail to Thailand seek simple
gratification in the bars of Bangkok or Pattaya. They are looking for
something better, a loving and beautiful wife.

Myths and illusions

Western men go for Thai women because they know how to take care of
their husbands . . . but there can be pitfalls. - Picture by K.T. GOH
The Western woman has given up the idea of being a devoted housewife
and so the farang believes the Thai lady will do a much better job of
looking after his needs. Indeed, she probably will as she has been
brought up to take care of her husband and keep the house in order.

Even when Thai women work, they are still happy to look after their
men. In fact, the concept of a Western-style marriage is rather new.
This may explain the philandering spirit of many Thai men, known by
their womenfolk as butterflies. But the whole game of dating
Thailand's beautiful women can be fraught with illusion and
misunderstanding.

Many Western men come to Thailand knowing nothing of Thai culture and
takes little trouble to find out. He heads straight for the bars and
then makes a messy business of marrying a bar girl.

He takes her back to his country where, in many cases, she feels like a
fish out of water. And then he's surprised when his whole house is
taken over by her family. For Thais, loyalty to the family is paramount
and sometimes the unsuspecting farang husband can become overwhelmed by
it.

Happy with older men

Another reason the farang heads for Thailand to find a wife is because
he has heard that Thai women are happy with older men. I know a
delightful Englishman in his mid-60s who is happily married to a young
lady half his age. This marriage is working because he has taken
enormous trouble to learn about Thai culture and to develop his
relationship with compassion and understanding. It helps, too, that
they now live in Thailand.

In fact, a Western-Thai relationship will only work if the farang
mellows his harsh Western ways and bows to the Thai way of doing
things. If not, he will get very frustrated. Openness and patience are
essential . . . never show your anger.

One argumentative 60-something Yorkshire man was surprised when he was
confronted by his wife with a knife in her hands. He thought it was
time to wind up the marriage there and then. It was never going to
work.

Marriage is about more than sex

Falling in love is about sexual chemistry and, of course, one of the
great attractions is the misconception that Thai women are sexually
free. Yet, although Thailand is a free and easy society on the surface,
not all is as it seems.

Few eligible Thai women are bar girls whose economic circumstances
force them to exchange money for sex. The farang, who thinks that the
average Thai lady will bed down with him on their first date, is in for
a rude awakening.

Take the case of the young Thai lady who arrived at London Airport,
having been matched with a Brit, only to discover that her new man
wanted to have sex even before he got her home. She fled in disgust to
the agent who desperately tried to find her another partner. So much
for cross-cultural understanding.

Money misunderstandings

Money. This is probably the biggest cause of all misunderstanding. The
exchange rates make the farang appear a rich man when he is in Thailand
and the Thai lady is often deceived by this illusion of wealth. Little
does she realise that, back in his own country, where the cost of
living may be three or four times as much, her man has a very ordinary
income.

In addition, many Thai ladies have a simplistic idea of how to use
money: they believe that, if it's there, it's to be spent; no
budgeting, no saving. And, credit cards, well, they can be lethal.

There was the German who married a Thai and was posted to North Korea
while she remained in Bangkok. He made the mistake of leaving her with
his credit card and was then surprised when his German bank phoned him
and asked why he was £20,000 (RM140,000) overdrawn.

End of marriage. Yet, who was to blame?

Where you have the heady combination of infatuation and money, there
lies a recipe for many a tragicomic story.

Take the case of the Briton, a married man with a family back home, who
visited Thailand and fell in love with a beautiful Chiang Mai girl.
When he returned to the UK, he gave her an allowance of £1,500 a
month.

Well, don't be surprised that it went to her head and she began to
ask for more. There he was, paying her all this money and trying to
make ends meet in the most expensive country in the European Union.

And, when a friend suggested he should fly out to resolve the
situation, the silly man had to explain that he no longer had enough
money to pay for an air ticket.

Patience is a virtue

A cross-cultural relationship is full of hurdles that need to be jumped
with care. If not, the fall can be heavy. At the start, there is so
much myth and illusion that need to be swept away before any normal
relationship can begin.

A wise American friend of mine took two years to woo his Thai lady and
it has taken a further five difficult years to make it a successful
one.

There's a lesson in that. W

"Gointothai" wrote in message
news:e0fQd.47581$gA4.15409@edtnps89...
Interesting I am also involved with a Thai Girl and would like to bring
her
home (Canada) but I am concerned that the culture shock could be too
great.
any thoughts on this. My living in Thailand is not a real possibility as I
am still relatively young and need to continue to build my massive wealth
(as im sure all of you have JK)

To get first hand information, the best is to contact Noi, she went through
that and I am sure she will be happy to give you her recommendations.

Now, my 2 cents:
- Wait for Canadian summer time to bring her, so that you won't pile up
cultural + climatic shocks.
- Plan her first stay to be "short", say one or 2 months, then back to
Thailand for a break.
- Plan Thailand breaks for her at least twice a year.
- Prepare her arrival by contacting the Thai Embassy and trying to locate
Thai stuff nearby your home: Food shop, Thai restaurants, Temples and, if
you can, Thai expats living there. Let her join those circuits as soon as
she arrives.
- According to her level in English, let her join some language courses in
Thailand before her departure. Whatever cultural shock, language is the
first barrier.
- Be ready for heavier telephone bills, she will need to call the family at
least once a week, especially at the beginning.
- Train her quickly about driving and finding her way alone in your area.
- Let her find quickly "something" to do while you will be at work. Could be
a job, a charity, a sport club, an association, whatever but something of
interest to her.
The 2 above as being cornered home in a foreign country is really really
boring especially in cold climate.
From my experience bringing my wife to the Philippines and Singapore.

Wish you the best!
Cheers
Daniel





"six-toes" wrote in message
oups.com...
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.

ThAI women are noted for their warmth, beauty, grace, charm and
loyalty. Perhaps that's why so many British men find them
irresistible. In many cases, that longing translates into marriage.
This is now such a common practice that the Land of Smiles must surely
lead the way in global dating. It's a modern social phenomenon.

Availability

So many Thai women are in or have escaped unhappy marriages. They have
a fantasy that things will be better with a farang (foreigner). This is
enhanced by the mutual availability of unhappily married or lonely,
single Western men.

Not all men who beat the hot trail to Thailand seek simple
gratification in the bars of Bangkok or Pattaya. They are looking for
something better, a loving and beautiful wife.

Myths and illusions

Western men go for Thai women because they know how to take care of
their husbands . . . but there can be pitfalls. - Picture by K.T. GOH
The Western woman has given up the idea of being a devoted housewife
and so the farang believes the Thai lady will do a much better job of
looking after his needs. Indeed, she probably will as she has been
brought up to take care of her husband and keep the house in order.

Even when Thai women work, they are still happy to look after their
men. In fact, the concept of a Western-style marriage is rather new.
This may explain the philandering spirit of many Thai men, known by
their womenfolk as butterflies. But the whole game of dating
Thailand's beautiful women can be fraught with illusion and
misunderstanding.

Many Western men come to Thailand knowing nothing of Thai culture and
takes little trouble to find out. He heads straight for the bars and
then makes a messy business of marrying a bar girl.

He takes her back to his country where, in many cases, she feels like a
fish out of water. And then he's surprised when his whole house is
taken over by her family. For Thais, loyalty to the family is paramount
and sometimes the unsuspecting farang husband can become overwhelmed by
it.

Happy with older men

Another reason the farang heads for Thailand to find a wife is because
he has heard that Thai women are happy with older men. I know a
delightful Englishman in his mid-60s who is happily married to a young
lady half his age. This marriage is working because he has taken
enormous trouble to learn about Thai culture and to develop his
relationship with compassion and understanding. It helps, too, that
they now live in Thailand.

In fact, a Western-Thai relationship will only work if the farang
mellows his harsh Western ways and bows to the Thai way of doing
things. If not, he will get very frustrated. Openness and patience are
essential . . . never show your anger.

One argumentative 60-something Yorkshire man was surprised when he was
confronted by his wife with a knife in her hands. He thought it was
time to wind up the marriage there and then. It was never going to
work.

Marriage is about more than sex

Falling in love is about sexual chemistry and, of course, one of the
great attractions is the misconception that Thai women are sexually
free. Yet, although Thailand is a free and easy society on the surface,
not all is as it seems.

Few eligible Thai women are bar girls whose economic circumstances
force them to exchange money for sex. The farang, who thinks that the
average Thai lady will bed down with him on their first date, is in for
a rude awakening.

Take the case of the young Thai lady who arrived at London Airport,
having been matched with a Brit, only to discover that her new man
wanted to have sex even before he got her home. She fled in disgust to
the agent who desperately tried to find her another partner. So much
for cross-cultural understanding.

Money misunderstandings

Money. This is probably the biggest cause of all misunderstanding. The
exchange rates make the farang appear a rich man when he is in Thailand
and the Thai lady is often deceived by this illusion of wealth. Little
does she realise that, back in his own country, where the cost of
living may be three or four times as much, her man has a very ordinary
income.

In addition, many Thai ladies have a simplistic idea of how to use
money: they believe that, if it's there, it's to be spent; no
budgeting, no saving. And, credit cards, well, they can be lethal.

There was the German who married a Thai and was posted to North Korea
while she remained in Bangkok. He made the mistake of leaving her with
his credit card and was then surprised when his German bank phoned him
and asked why he was £20,000 (RM140,000) overdrawn.

End of marriage. Yet, who was to blame?

Where you have the heady combination of infatuation and money, there
lies a recipe for many a tragicomic story.

Take the case of the Briton, a married man with a family back home, who
visited Thailand and fell in love with a beautiful Chiang Mai girl.
When he returned to the UK, he gave her an allowance of £1,500 a
month.

Well, don't be surprised that it went to her head and she began to
ask for more. There he was, paying her all this money and trying to
make ends meet in the most expensive country in the European Union.

And, when a friend suggested he should fly out to resolve the
situation, the silly man had to explain that he no longer had enough
money to pay for an air ticket.

Patience is a virtue

A cross-cultural relationship is full of hurdles that need to be jumped
with care. If not, the fall can be heavy. At the start, there is so
much myth and illusion that need to be swept away before any normal
relationship can begin.

A wise American friend of mine took two years to woo his Thai lady and
it has taken a further five difficult years to make it a successful
one.

There's a lesson in that. W

On Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:51:17 -0800, "PeterL"
wrote:

More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap.

Making generalities regarding any racial group leads to very dangerous
assumptions. I've known many people of different nationalities who
don't fit their stereotyped characteristics.

John L.

On 15 Feb 2005 03:24:32 GMT, wrote:

"Daniel" wrote:
"PeterL" wrote in message
"Xtile" wrote in message
six-toes wrote:
Thai-ing the knot
OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to
Thailand in search of a Thai wife.

Easy.....Thai people are warm and considerate. They are also cheap
(relatively speaking).

More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap.

Uh! Why? Do you mean that all the guys posting here and happily married
to a Thai woman are cheap?
Sandy, Nick, Alex, Carlos, John, etc... and me :-(
Please elaborate.

15 years this April. I'm happy, she's happy. Money has never been as issue.

"Together" 15 years this April. "Married" 10 years this March. I'm
happy; she's happy. Money has always been an issue (on which we
agree).
--
Regards,
John Sharman

Say Hey !!

Well with initials like JK gets me to thinking !!

5555 Yee-Haw !!