Louise?

Another Christmas has come, and gone.

Where is Louise? She usually shows up at this time of year, but not, so
far, this year.

OK Who's hiding her? :-)

Tobieon an Island in the Pacific

Tobie, the "Keeper of Louise" is otherwise occupied at the moment, but I
have no doubt that Louise will be released upon us very soon!
Mary

Tobie Gerbrandt wrote:
Another Christmas has come, and gone.

Where is Louise? She usually shows up at this time of year, but not, so
far, this year.

OK Who's hiding her? :-)

Tobieon an Island in the Pacific

"Tobie Gerbrandt" wrote in message
news:QNdkh.530822$R63.410522@pd7urf1no...
Another Christmas has come, and gone.

Where is Louise? She usually shows up at this time of year, but not, so
far, this year.

OK Who's hiding her? :-)


Okay, Tobie, I'll bite! Who's Louise? ;-)
And Christmas has come but not gone...remember the 12 days of Christmas???
Some do not celebrate Christmas until the Feast of the Epiphany on January
6th!
So Merry Christmas and the Best New Year ever to you and Barb..
See you soon on the Volendam!

--Jean

Mary Foster wrote:
Tobie, the "Keeper of Louise" is otherwise occupied at the moment, but I
have no doubt that Louise will be released upon us very soon!
Mary

Tobie Gerbrandt wrote:

Another Christmas has come, and gone.

Where is Louise? She usually shows up at this time of year, but not,
so far, this year.

OK Who's hiding her? :-)

Tobieon an Island in the Pacific


I have her somewhere, just can't find her at the moment.

Ermalee ---thinking Gayle may have her too

Tobie Gerbrandt wrote:

Another Christmas has come, and gone.

Where is Louise? She usually shows up at this time of year, but not, so
far, this year.

OK Who's hiding her? :-)

Tobieon an Island in the Pacific



As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be
true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were
overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly
threadbare.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses
and a fake beard and went in search of an inflatable love doll.
Of course, they don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to
an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in a X-rated store,
don't go.

You'll only confuse yourself. I was there almost three hours saying
things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who owns
that?" "Do you have their phone number?"

Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a
standard, uncomplicated doll suitable for a night of romance that could
also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool
lane during rush hour.

I'm not sure what a complicated doll is. Perhaps one that is subject to
wild mood shifts and using a French accent for no reason at all. (That
also describes a few ex-girlfriends.)

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different
models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could
do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I figured the
"vibro-motion" was a feature Jay could live without, so I settled for
Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call
Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve,
with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and cleverly left the front door
key hidden under the mat. In the wee morning hours, long after Santa had
come and gone, I snuck into the house and filled the dangling panty
hose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and
drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. Then I let
myself out, went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his
house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the
dog confused. He would bark, start to walk away, then come back and
bark some more. I suggested he purchase an inflatable Lassie to set
Rover straight. We also agreed that Louise should remain in her panty
hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for
the traditional Christmas dinner. It seemed like a great idea, except
that we forgot that Grandma and Grandpa would be there.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door "What
the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained. "It's a
doll." "Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I
had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. "Where are her
clothes? Granny continued. I hadn't seen any in the box, but I kept
this information to myself.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, trying to steer
her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she
have any teeth?" Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was
Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance
saying, "Hang on Granny, Hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to
me and said," Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him
she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel,
talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was
then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died,
who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a
noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning.

Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and
fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed, I passed
cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell
to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. My
brother wet his pants and Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of
the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and
remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to
decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had
suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately,
thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect
health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I
think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

"Ermalee" wrote in message
. ..
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be
true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were
overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly
threadbare.

Oh Erm!
What a way to start my day...laughing my head off! You are ONE story
teller! I tell you, Nonnymous and you should write a book together! You
and your families be set for life with all the money that you'd make! You
could buy a cruise ship! ;-D

--Jean---by the way, I believe you when you were in that store asking those
questions...I remember shopping with you...
especially that time our cruise took us to Key West!

I don't get it?
"Jean O'Boyle" wrote in message
t...

"Ermalee" wrote in message
. ..
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be
true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were
overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly
threadbare.

Oh Erm!
What a way to start my day...laughing my head off! You are ONE story
teller! I tell you, Nonnymous and you should write a book together! You
and your families be set for life with all the money that you'd make! You
could buy a cruise ship! ;-D

--Jean---by the way, I believe you when you were in that store asking
those questions...I remember shopping with you...
especially that time our cruise took us to Key West!

Jean O'Boyle wrote:
"Ermalee" wrote in message
. ..

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be
true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were
overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly
threadbare.


Oh Erm!
What a way to start my day...laughing my head off! You are ONE story
teller! I tell you, Nonnymous and you should write a book together! You
and your families be set for life with all the money that you'd make! You
could buy a cruise ship! ;-D

--Jean---by the way, I believe you when you were in that store asking those
questions...I remember shopping with you...
especially that time our cruise took us to Key West!


Sorry, Jean. I can't take credit for Louise. She has been going around
this news group for years. I just got her today from my dear sister,
Mary, because I couldn't find her saved in my new computer.

Ermalee ---remembers the tattoos in Key West