How would you salvage this vacation?

Miguel Cruz wrote:

Dave Smith wrote:
Bail out now. Group vacations are a recipe for disaster at the best of
times. Write off the money and consider it a lesson never to be repeated.

I've never had a bad group vacation yet! Ranging from 4 to 25 people, from a
weekend to 2 months, they've all been great.

Maybe you need a new group.

Maybe I need a new me :-) I go on vacations to do what I want to do. I do not
want a set itinerary and firm schedule. I especially do not want to have imposed
on me by someone else. I don't want to have to deal with the group's dynamics.
I have been on vacations with friends. It was never a great experience. It was
sometimes not so bad, and several times it has been a disaster.

A few years ago I went on a trip to Europe with two brothers and their wives for
a funeral and related events and visits, followed by a week and a half tour
through Germany and France. Weeks of group planning went into it. There were
places I wanted to see and places they wanted to see. I lost out on most of the
places I wanted to see right at the planning stages, and the rest got cancelled
en route. I ended up tagging along and missing what I wanted to see while I was
there.

One brother wanted the entire trip prearranged, hotels booked in advance all
along the way. That was not too bad. We got out voted on that one. He was
upset, but the rest were happy.

I could go on for hours about how one sister in law ruined the trip for
everyone, but I will spare you that.

Thanks but no thanks. I have limited time and money for vacations. I will spend
my resources having fun doing the things I want to do instead of wasting my time
and money trying to herd cats and expecting them to enjoy what I like, or
forcing myself to enjoy what they like.

Sounds, Dave like you do need a new group.

I've been on a couple group vacations, including some with various siblings
and with my adult children. My experience is that the more folks you have the
more important it is to have time when each person/couple can go off on their
own.

So a vacation where you go one place and do stuff that radiates out from it
is a good one, for example this summer we spent a week with my husbands entire
family on the outer banks of NC, which was great. We rented a beach house,
spent some days doing stuff together and some days doing the stuff WE wanted
to do.

A couple summers ago we also had a family event in Europe, in our case a wedding
we went for 3 weeks. We broke it down this day. All of us spent 4 days togethr
in the vicinity of the wedding. One day we all toured together, one day we
split in to two groups to tour things WE wanted to tour, and two days were
pretty much dedicated to the wedding itself.

Then we all went to Berlin for 3 days. We toured what we wanted every day,
met for dinner and the evening. One evening all the adults went to a berlin
Philharmonic Concert together (This was a compromise. Some folks wanted to
go to the opera, others hated opera, we decided to compromise on the Phil-
harmonic, which all enjoyed.)

Then we split up for the remainder of the 3 weeks, and I went with my adult
children (5 of us total) for a tour of German for about 10 days. AT the end of
that my husband and stepdaughter went home, and my son and daughter and I spent
four more days in GErmany (I had extra vacation time).

It was wonderful.

Julie

Dave Smith wrote:
Miguel Cruz wrote:

Dave Smith wrote:
Bail out now. Group vacations are a recipe for disaster at the best of
times. Write off the money and consider it a lesson never to be repeated.

I've never had a bad group vacation yet! Ranging from 4 to 25 people, from a
weekend to 2 months, they've all been great.

Maybe you need a new group.

Maybe I need a new me :-) I go on vacations to do what I want to do. I do not
want a set itinerary and firm schedule. I especially do not want to have imposed
on me by someone else. I don't want to have to deal with the group's dynamics.
I have been on vacations with friends. It was never a great experience. It was
sometimes not so bad, and several times it has been a disaster.

A few years ago I went on a trip to Europe with two brothers and their wives for
a funeral and related events and visits, followed by a week and a half tour
through Germany and France. Weeks of group planning went into it. There were
places I wanted to see and places they wanted to see. I lost out on most of the
places I wanted to see right at the planning stages, and the rest got cancelled
en route. I ended up tagging along and missing what I wanted to see while I was
there.

One brother wanted the entire trip prearranged, hotels booked in advance all
along the way. That was not too bad. We got out voted on that one. He was
upset, but the rest were happy.

I could go on for hours about how one sister in law ruined the trip for
everyone, but I will spare you that.

Thanks but no thanks. I have limited time and money for vacations. I will spend
my resources having fun doing the things I want to do instead of wasting my time
and money trying to herd cats and expecting them to enjoy what I like, or
forcing myself to enjoy what they like.



--
Julie
**********
Check out my Travel Pages (non-commercial) at
http://www.dragonsholm.org/travel.htm

Juliana L Holm wrote:

Sounds, Dave like you do need a new group.

Tell me about it :-) I have done it with friends. I have done it was my family. I
have done it with in-laws. It's not for me. We have one spot where we go at the end
of every summer. Then the in-laws started coming. First it was the brother in law, a
compulsive talker who never left me alone and never shut up. Then it was the sister in
law, and then her son. He got into a hassle with the management and left in a huff.
The next thing I know, they are pressuring us to boycott the place to support the
nephew over his problem. Nut to that.

Trips with friends weren't much better. Maybe I am just to independent to be tied to
the whims of members of a group. My best vacations have been those where my wife, son
and I have headed off and roamed. Several times I have flown out to BC, rented a car
and spent two weeks driving through the mountains. We once did a trip around Europe
with a rail pass, never planning more than a day or two in advance. The best was last
year when we went to Europe, spent five days in Denmark for some pre arranged
ceremonies and guided trips, followed by two weeks of wandering around Holland,
Belgium, Germany and France. My wife is very easy going and was happy to tag along as
I wandered without an agenda. We had a ball. It was the best vacation I ever had.




I've been on a couple group vacations, including some with various siblings
and with my adult children. My experience is that the more folks you have the
more important it is to have time when each person/couple can go off on their
own.

So a vacation where you go one place and do stuff that radiates out from it
is a good one, for example this summer we spent a week with my husbands entire
family on the outer banks of NC, which was great. We rented a beach house,
spent some days doing stuff together and some days doing the stuff WE wanted
to do.

A couple summers ago we also had a family event in Europe, in our case a wedding
we went for 3 weeks. We broke it down this day. All of us spent 4 days togethr
in the vicinity of the wedding. One day we all toured together, one day we
split in to two groups to tour things WE wanted to tour, and two days were
pretty much dedicated to the wedding itself.

Then we all went to Berlin for 3 days. We toured what we wanted every day,
met for dinner and the evening. One evening all the adults went to a berlin
Philharmonic Concert together (This was a compromise. Some folks wanted to
go to the opera, others hated opera, we decided to compromise on the Phil-
harmonic, which all enjoyed.)

Then we split up for the remainder of the 3 weeks, and I went with my adult
children (5 of us total) for a tour of German for about 10 days. AT the end of
that my husband and stepdaughter went home, and my son and daughter and I spent
four more days in GErmany (I had extra vacation time).

It was wonderful.

Julie

Dave Smith wrote:
Miguel Cruz wrote:

Dave Smith wrote:
Bail out now. Group vacations are a recipe for disaster at the best of
times. Write off the money and consider it a lesson never to be repeated.

I've never had a bad group vacation yet! Ranging from 4 to 25 people, from a
weekend to 2 months, they've all been great.

Maybe you need a new group.

Maybe I need a new me :-) I go on vacations to do what I want to do. I do not
want a set itinerary and firm schedule. I especially do not want to have imposed
on me by someone else. I don't want to have to deal with the group's dynamics.
I have been on vacations with friends. It was never a great experience. It was
sometimes not so bad, and several times it has been a disaster.

A few years ago I went on a trip to Europe with two brothers and their wives for
a funeral and related events and visits, followed by a week and a half tour
through Germany and France. Weeks of group planning went into it. There were
places I wanted to see and places they wanted to see. I lost out on most of the
places I wanted to see right at the planning stages, and the rest got cancelled
en route. I ended up tagging along and missing what I wanted to see while I was
there.

One brother wanted the entire trip prearranged, hotels booked in advance all
along the way. That was not too bad. We got out voted on that one. He was
upset, but the rest were happy.

I could go on for hours about how one sister in law ruined the trip for
everyone, but I will spare you that.

Thanks but no thanks. I have limited time and money for vacations. I will spend
my resources having fun doing the things I want to do instead of wasting my time
and money trying to herd cats and expecting them to enjoy what I like, or
forcing myself to enjoy what they like.

--
Julie
**********
Check out my Travel Pages (non-commercial) at
http://www.dragonsholm.org/travel.htm

Juliana L Holm wrote:
I've been on a couple group vacations, including some with various
siblings and with my adult children. My experience is that the more folks
you have the more important it is to have time when each person/couple can
go off on their own.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. A group trip is not a merging of
many souls into one. It's just a bunch of people who get along well, getting
along well in a different setting.

The solution to different individuals having different preferences is to
come up with ways that they can all get some of what they want without
making everyone else have to do it too.

miguel
--
Hit The Road! Photos and tales from around the world: http://travel.u.nu
Site remodeled 10-Sept-2003: Hundreds of new photos, easier navigation.

Bert Hyman staggered to the nearest keyboard and
wrote:

Even changing the plane tickets at this point incurs a $200 fee, so
something that we can do out of Richmond would be attractive. Neither
of us has ever been to Richmond (other than the airport), so I have
no idea what's available.

Hurricanes go through pretty fast. Isabel is getting a bit wobbly
because of stronger upper-level winds and s picking up speed, so my
guess is that it she'll be long gone by the time of your flight on
Saturday. You may still find some chaos as things settle back down,
but on the whole, people have prepared for this storm well in advance.
The big concern will be the prospect of damage to your house on the
Outer Banks.

Anyway there's plenty to do in and around Richmond, especially if
you're at all interested in American history (Jamestown, Williamsburg,
Charlottesville, not to mention zillions of battlefields in the
Richmond area; a day trip to Washington DC also would be easy).

--

There are group trip people and then there are folks who are happier
solo or with a partner and no more. Both are good. It all depends on
what you like. I find that when I am traveling solo I get in more
photography than when I travel with a friend. As a photographer /
artist I find that I concentrate more when I take photographs alone.
When I travel with a friend it becomes more about documenting a shared
experience. Also good, but those photo keepsakes usually don't qualify
as art.

Brian

On 09/17/2003 9:33 PM Dave Smith wrote:

Juliana L Holm wrote:



Sounds, Dave like you do need a new group.



Tell me about it :-) I have done it with friends. I have done it was my family. I
have done it with in-laws. It's not for me. We have one spot where we go at the end
of every summer. Then the in-laws started coming. First it was the brother in law, a
compulsive talker who never left me alone and never shut up. Then it was the sister in
law, and then her son. He got into a hassle with the management and left in a huff.
The next thing I know, they are pressuring us to boycott the place to support the
nephew over his problem. Nut to that.

Trips with friends weren't much better. Maybe I am just to independent to be tied to
the whims of members of a group. My best vacations have been those where my wife, son
and I have headed off and roamed. Several times I have flown out to BC, rented a car
and spent two weeks driving through the mountains. We once did a trip around Europe
with a rail pass, never planning more than a day or two in advance. The best was last
year when we went to Europe, spent five days in Denmark for some pre arranged
ceremonies and guided trips, followed by two weeks of wandering around Holland,
Belgium, Germany and France. My wife is very easy going and was happy to tag along as
I wandered without an agenda. We had a ball. It was the best vacation I ever had.




I've been on a couple group vacations, including some with various siblings
and with my adult children. My experience is that the more folks you have the
more important it is to have time when each person/couple can go off on their
own.

So a vacation where you go one place and do stuff that radiates out from it
is a good one, for example this summer we spent a week with my husbands entire
family on the outer banks of NC, which was great. We rented a beach house,
spent some days doing stuff together and some days doing the stuff WE wanted
to do.

A couple summers ago we also had a family event in Europe, in our case a wedding
we went for 3 weeks. We broke it down this day. All of us spent 4 days togethr
in the vicinity of the wedding. One day we all toured together, one day we
split in to two groups to tour things WE wanted to tour, and two days were
pretty much dedicated to the wedding itself.

Then we all went to Berlin for 3 days. We toured what we wanted every day,
met for dinner and the evening. One evening all the adults went to a berlin
Philharmonic Concert together (This was a compromise. Some folks wanted to
go to the opera, others hated opera, we decided to compromise on the Phil-
harmonic, which all enjoyed.)

Then we split up for the remainder of the 3 weeks, and I went with my adult
children (5 of us total) for a tour of German for about 10 days. AT the end of
that my husband and stepdaughter went home, and my son and daughter and I spent
four more days in GErmany (I had extra vacation time).

It was wonderful.

Julie

Dave Smith wrote:


Miguel Cruz wrote:


Dave Smith wrote:


Bail out now. Group vacations are a recipe for disaster at the best of
times. Write off the money and consider it a lesson never to be repeated.


I've never had a bad group vacation yet! Ranging from 4 to 25 people, from a
weekend to 2 months, they've all been great.

Maybe you need a new group.


Maybe I need a new me :-) I go on vacations to do what I want to do. I do not
want a set itinerary and firm schedule. I especially do not want to have imposed
on me by someone else. I don't want to have to deal with the group's dynamics.
I have been on vacations with friends. It was never a great experience. It was
sometimes not so bad, and several times it has been a disaster.


A few years ago I went on a trip to Europe with two brothers and their wives for
a funeral and related events and visits, followed by a week and a half tour
through Germany and France. Weeks of group planning went into it. There were
places I wanted to see and places they wanted to see. I lost out on most of the
places I wanted to see right at the planning stages, and the rest got cancelled
en route. I ended up tagging along and missing what I wanted to see while I was
there.


One brother wanted the entire trip prearranged, hotels booked in advance all
along the way. That was not too bad. We got out voted on that one. He was
upset, but the rest were happy.


I could go on for hours about how one sister in law ruined the trip for
everyone, but I will spare you that.


Thanks but no thanks. I have limited time and money for vacations. I will spend
my resources having fun doing the things I want to do instead of wasting my time
and money trying to herd cats and expecting them to enjoy what I like, or
forcing myself to enjoy what they like.


--
Julie
**********
Check out my Travel Pages (non-commercial) at
http://www.dragonsholm.org/travel.htm