RESTROOM and TOILET DOOR SIGNS

On Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:59:55 GMT, Frank Clarke
wrote:


There once was (may still be) a bar in Boulder CO called "The Dark Horse".
Their r/r doors had huge stylized "pointing hands" with "MEN" on one, "WOMEN" on
the other. Each hand pointed toward the opposite door, so the question of the
moment is: "Is this the men's room or does the sign -point- to the men's room?"

Ditto for the Bum Steer here in Tucson. I'll have to drop by and
see if it's still the same.


************* DAVE HATUNEN ) *************
* Tucson Arizona, out where the cacti grow *
* My typos & mispellings are intentional copyright traps *

I have an incredible little book called Signs which has 1000 pictures of
signs from all over the world- variations of stop signs, don't park
signs, don't walk on the grass signs, bus stop, no jay walking, don't
honk your horn, school, hospital zone,etc etc etc. The cultural
variations all over the world are fascinating.

They have 10 or so pages of signs used around the world for men's or
women's restroom. One apears to be in Russian- The men's is a simple,
cute, nude outline of a little boy in profile with four dots positioned
to look like he's peeing- and the women's is a profile of a little girl
on a toilet seat with a big red bow in her hair.

Another is two faces, one of a man and one of a woman- both in elegant,
Victorian dress. A third are two French signs with a man's leg and the
other a woman's leg- He's wearing men's dress shoes and she's wearing
heels- 1940ish style. The next page has two cubes, one has a rectanglar
shape sticking up from the middle of it and the other is the same cube
but with a corresponding rectangular shape missing from the cube.
Another shows an Arabic woman with veiled face except her eyes. They
didn't show the man's sign.

And one is a triangle- wide part on top with a circle for the head. The
other is the same triangle with the point up and the same circle on the
top. Since the triangle with the point at the top appears to be
obviously a woman (dress), then the other must be the man. Maybe this is
a clue for the other poster who wondered about a sign he'd seen with a
triangle.

I'm also wondering about what you're doing this search for? It's
fascinating and sounds like fun!

Susan


I'm a designer in London and I'm desperate for the toilet...signs you
see on doors for ladies and gents. Anything unusual, clever, different,

beautiful, ugly, odd, bad or bizarre is required. Or you may have
designed some.

On Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:22:18 -0700, Susan Wachob
wrote:


I have an incredible little book called Signs which has 1000 pictures of
signs from all over the world- variations of stop signs, don't park
signs, don't walk on the grass signs, bus stop, no jay walking, don't
honk your horn, school, hospital zone,etc etc etc. The cultural
variations all over the world are fascinating.
snip

While wandering around the web, looking for other things, I
cam across this which may explain some of the mysteries of
the other half of the human race to the ladies present:

http://www.funmansion.com/html/Pee-Like-A-Man.html

"Response to a woman who accidentally walked into the men's
restroom:

Please don't feel bad. It wasn't you entering the men's
washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him.
Hell, we do that all the time. It's rare for us guys to ever
hit what we were aiming for. Sometimes I go into the
washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around
-- just so I'll make sure I hit something.

You see, something you ladies should understand by now is
that men's penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go
into a bathroom stall (because all the urinals are being
used), take perfect aim at the toilet, and his penis will
still manage to pee all over the roll of toilet paper, down
his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling 'ya those
little buggers can't be trusted.

After being married 28 years, my wife has me trained. I'm no
longer allowed to pee like a man -- standing up. I am
required to sit down and pee. She has convinced me that this
is a small price to pay. Otherwise, if she goes to the
toilet one more time at night and either sits on a
pee-soaked toilet seat, or falls right into the toilet
because I forgot to put the seat down, she's going to kill
me in my sleep.

Now another thing us guys don't usually like to talk about,
but because you and I have become such good friends and you
think I'm a classy guy, I might as well be candid with you
because it's a real problem and you ladies need to be more
understanding. It's the dreaded "morning wood."

Most mornings we guys wake up with two things: a tremendous
desire to pee, and a penis so hard you could cut diamonds
with it. Well, no matter how hard you try, you can't get
that thing to bend, and if it don't bend you can't aim.

Well hell, if you can't aim you have no choice but to pee
all over the wallpaper and that damn fuzzy toilet seat cover
you women insist on putting on the toilet. And by the way,
when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers, the stupid
toilet seat won't stay up by itself. So that means we have
to use one hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other
hand to try to achieve that perfect aim.

Now sometimes, when you're newly married, (and I know the
guys in here will back me up on this) you think you can get
the toilet seat with that damn fuzzy thing to stay up. You
jam it back and compress that fuzzy thing until the seat
stays there. OK, so you start to pee, but then that
compressed fuzzy starts to decompress and without warning
that damn toilet seat comes flying down and tries to whack
off your weenie. So us guys will not lift a toilet seat with
a fuzzy, it's just not safe.

I tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my
wife. I told her, "Look, it won't bend." She said, "Sit down
like I told you to do all the rest of the time." OK. I tried
sitting down on the toilet with "morning wood."

Well, it's is very hard to get it bent under the toilet
seat, and before I could manage to do it, I had peed all
over the bath towels hanging on the wall across the room.
Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced
down under the toilet seat, when you start to pee the pee
shoots out from the crack between the bottom of the toilet
seat and the top of the bowl. You pee all over the back of
your knees and it runs down the back of our legs on to that
damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug you women keep putting on
the floor in front of the toilet.

I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this
morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman
position by simply laying over the toilet seat. This takes a
great deal of practice, perfect balance, and split time
precision but it's the only sure way to get all the pee in
the bowl during the first morning pee.

So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally
to blame. We are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene
and bathroom cleanliness, but there are times when things
just get beyond our control.

It's not our fault, it's just Mother Nature. Now, if it was
Father Nature... there wouldn't have been a problem!!! "


Cheers, Alan, Australia

Alan S wrote:
While wandering around the web, looking for other things, I
cam across this which may explain some of the mysteries of
the other half of the human race to the ladies present:

http://www.funmansion.com/html/Pee-Like-A-Man.html

"Response to a woman who accidentally walked into the men's
restroom: . . .

Painfully hilarious!

Cheers, Alan, Australia

Thanks.
__________________________________________________ _________________
A San Franciscan in 47.452 mile² San Francisco.
http://geocities.com/dancefest/ - http://geocities.com/iconoc/
ICQ: http://wwp.mirabilis.com/19098103 --- IClast at SFbay Net

I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this
morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman
position by simply laying over the toilet seat.

One time I just said the hell with it. I jumped naked into the shower,
shut the shower door, and then proceeded to wizz all over myself.
Followed this by using the shower for its intended purpose.

On 11 Jun 2005 08:40:15 -0700, "Traveler"
wrote:

I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this
morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman
position by simply laying over the toilet seat.

One time I just said the hell with it. I jumped naked into the shower,
shut the shower door, and then proceeded to wizz all over myself.
Followed this by using the shower for its intended purpose.

Nothing like self-gratification.

Some guys spend good money for a golden shower.

************* DAVE HATUNEN ) *************
* Tucson Arizona, out where the cacti grow *
* My typos & mispellings are intentional copyright traps *

In many countries that I visited, Turkey and Morocco come to mind, the
shower IS the toilet (or vice-versa). Incredibly efficient unless you
want to take a bath. Also, shaving is a pain (no sink, mirror or hot
water). I went upscale in Marrakech (Morocco) having paid about 15$ for
my hotel room. So I got a toilet, a sink, a shower and a bidet. It was
the first time I had ever seen a bidet. I thought it was for washing
your feet! Luckily, I had a bad case of the runs so I didn't walk
around town enough to feel the need for a midday foot cleaning.

I walked into the cleaning closet in Barcelona because I though the
door said men and women. It really said closet in Catalan and closet in
Spanish.

In many other countries, you have to pay for the toilet and there is
usually an attendant to point you in the right direction. However, you
sometimes have to pay extra for toilet paper. So in the Czech Republic,
to show I wanted to take a dump I showed two fingers with the thumb
sticking out because it usually doesn't matter. Well, in the Czech
Republic, 1 is the thumb. Two is the thumb and index, etc... So I was
showing the attendant 3. It looked like I wanted to go number three and
wanted enough toilet paper. The look on the attendant face was
priceless. He was totally embarrassed.

You really could go number three in most European public toilets as
they are remarkably private. Not sure why North Americans insist on
that big gap below the door (no door at all at the bus station in San
Francisco).

On a bus trip from Romania to Turkey, we had a rest stop in Bulgaria. I
had a heck of a time paying the toilet bill because I didn't have any
Bulgarian money. I just kept forking over as much foreign currency as I
could find but the attendant (an old lady, maybe 65 going on 120) kept
shaking her head. One of my fellow passengers bailed me out but the
attendant still shook her head. I really needed to go so I went anyway.
It was only later that I remembered that shaking your head in Bulgaria
means YES. Nodding means NO!

When all else fails go to McDonalds. In Scandinavia you still have to
pay and in Prague, the facilities are down the block and shared with
the other restaurants. But a least they have toilet paper, are clean,
and are simple to use (although there may be two buttons in Sweden.
Freaks.) For you Pulp Fiction fans out there, the beer serving
McDonalds in France have free washrooms. However, please note some of
the train stations in Italy with beer vending mashines on the platform,
don't have toilets which can be unbarable if your train is late.

The worst place for washrooms, however, is the USA. Many fast food
outlets don't have any! Washing your hands before eating, I guess, is
not part of the local customs.

Paris has showers in the train station (but not Helsinki, go figure).
While I was shaving I got scolded by the female attendant because I
didn't pay for a shower (something like 10 Euros)! I was fully
clothed and using the sink but apparently that is what some French
people consider a shower.

It is a luxury if your hotel has hot water in Estonia. This despite the
fact that the country has the same latitude as Alaska. The gas heater
in the shower in England is a highlight for many North Americans
accustom to running out of hot water thanks to the teenagers of the
house.

I fell in the bath tub in a guesthouse in Romania. When I told my
fellow house guest to be careful, he told me his buddy had recently
died under similar circumstances back in Ireland!

It was then that I figure out why Holiday Inns are so popular.

Sam in
Canada

PLease keep posting these, som eof them are great. I have no idea how
this thread appeared (it was posted in google, not here, I found it
by mistake!)

Thanks to all who have send stuff and written. But I need many many
many more.

Get your 15 mintes of fame:-)

Cheers

Lee


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