German wedding etiquette and protocol

I have been invited to a wedding near Stuttgart in October and I am
wondering if anyone here could offer any input on German (or more
specifically Swabian) wedding protocol, how to avoid faux pas and what
I can expect. For example, what is a typical wedding gift, what
constitutes formal dress, if there's anything like a bachelors' party,
etc. I am a friend of the groom and will be travelling from the US to
attend the wedding.

wrote in message
oups.com...
I have been invited to a wedding near Stuttgart in October and I am
wondering if anyone here could offer any input on German (or more
specifically Swabian) wedding protocol, how to avoid faux pas and what
I can expect. For example, what is a typical wedding gift,

We gave money.

what
constitutes formal dress, if there's anything like a bachelors' party,

Surely if there is you will (oe not) be invited to it separately.

tim

etc. I am a friend of the groom and will be travelling from the US to
attend the wedding.

On 13 Jul 2006 12:42:23 -0700, wrote:

I have been invited to a wedding near Stuttgart in October and I am
wondering if anyone here could offer any input on German (or more
specifically Swabian) wedding protocol, how to avoid faux pas and what
I can expect. For example, what is a typical wedding gift, what
constitutes formal dress, if there's anything like a bachelors' party,
etc. I am a friend of the groom and will be travelling from the US to
attend the wedding.

Give money, or ask if they have a present list and buy from that. They
know you're coming from some distance so no-one's going to expect you
to bring that set of garden furniture they fancied.

Stag and hen nights (bachelor's party) do sometimes happen, but it's
more traditional to have a common "Polterabend" (POlter=smashing
crockery, as in Poltergeist). 1 or 2 nights before the wedding they
have to ****-up together . You are expected to bring some old crockery
(plates, cups, I've even seen someone bring an old porcelain toilet).
When you arrive at the venue clutching your pile of crocks, you should
throw it on the ground so it smashes (you'll probably see where the
others have done it - there can be a large pile by the end of the
evening). This brings good luck. As a visitor from overseas you won't
be expected to do this, but it's a good laugh, and certainly you could
cadge a couple of plates from someone else if you're desperate.

Another common thing is the "Brautstehlen" or bride-stealing, where at
some advanced stage in the evening the bride will be "stolen" and
whisked away to a location somewhere else (e.g. another local bar),
and the groom and mates should then go off on a pub crawl to try and
find her (woe betide you if you don't actually find her), just follow
everybody else, they'll know what to do.

You'd better check with the groom as to what they're actually planning
to do. Either separate stag or hen nights or a polterabend.
As for clothing, I found most were quite formal for the wedding
itself, but really you'd better check with the groom.

--
Tim C.

We have sent gifts from the USA to 3 different German friends getting
married over there. Expensive gifts ! And all 3 got divorced within 4
years.

007





--
******************
Bill E. Burk
Publisher, Elvis World Magazine

[Remove "NOSP" from my e-mail address]

Bill Burk wrote:
We have sent gifts from the USA to 3 different German friends getting
married over there. Expensive gifts ! And all 3 got divorced within 4
years.

007





--
*****************


Bill E. Burk
Publisher, Elvis World Magazine

[Remove "NOSP" from my e-mail address]


Hmmm, I suppose that means I'll have to get a cheap gift :-)

Bill Burk wrote:

We have sent gifts from the USA to 3 different German friends getting
married over there. Expensive gifts ! And all 3 got divorced within 4
years.

Are you implying your gifts were responsible for the
mariages failing? :-)



007

Wasn't it Bill Burk who said...
We have sent gifts from the USA to 3 different German friends getting
married over there. Expensive gifts ! And all 3 got divorced within 4
years.

Jeez! What the *hell* did you give them???



JnP

wrote:
I have been invited to a wedding near Stuttgart in October and I am
wondering if anyone here could offer any input on German (or more
specifically Swabian) wedding protocol, how to avoid faux pas and what
I can expect. For example, what is a typical wedding gift, what
constitutes formal dress, if there's anything like a bachelors' party,
etc. I am a friend of the groom and will be travelling from the US to
attend the wedding.

Wedding customs can vary considerably in even a small area of Germany.
I would wear a suit to a "normal" wedding, but some can be quite posh,
but then that should be mentioned on the invitation. The kidnapping of
the bride and the search by the groom and friends is fairly common, and
something has to be paid to get her back, probably just the drinks that
they have meanwhile drunk. Although my wife is Swabian, she could not
explain to me a custom that we observed in Marbach near Stuttgart, the
bride and groom sawing a large log together. Perhaps he was a
forester? One thing that my wife used to have to remind me of, unlike
in the US where putting your arms on the table is considered bad
manners, in Germany it isn't, and if you don't do so you will be
considered cold and aloof. I personally don't like giving money as a
wedding gift. You could consider a gift certificate from Breunninger
in Stuttgart (Germany's second largest department store). One gift we
received for our wedding was a gift certificate for the Romantik chain
of hotels where we could use it for dinner or an overnight stay.

Have a fun trip.

George in Stuttgart

I have been invited to a wedding near Stuttgart in October and I am
wondering if anyone here could offer any input on German (or more
specifically Swabian) wedding protocol,

Important part of the protocol: The visitors with the longest trip are
expected to perform a striptease before the afternoon coffee+cake
session. So do this without being asked or the buffet can't be opened.

how to avoid faux pas

Drunken guests doing weird things like striptease shows are definitely
a faux pas :-)

and what I can expect.

A lot to eat, a lot to drink, oomph-ta-ta dance music.

if there's anything like a bachelors' party,

Do you think it's against US security regulations to carry a porcelain
toilet as hand luggage? If possible bring one to the party and smash it
in front of their door (or wherever you see a hill of sherds).


Walter

One thing that my wife used to have to remind me of, unlike
in the US where putting your arms on the table is considered bad
manners, in Germany it isn't

Seriously? I would expext putting your arms on the table during dinner
is more acceptable in the US than in Germany. In a fine restaurent a
small pistol is for shure more distinguished than a pump gun.
Maybe it's a polite way to tell the cook and waiters to do their jobs
well.
:-)

Walter