How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

(Mean Mr Mustard) wrote in
m:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading
to Europe on a business trip this summer. Now my primary
concern is just making sure I get through this trip and
back to the US safely in one piece. I figure this will be a
challenging task with all the reports of anti-American
protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will
prevent me from being a target:

snip

Any other suggestions?

Yeah. You could do the “land of the free, home of the brave”
thing and be a proud American. You may die, son, but don’t
die in fear.

There are a zillion ways to spot you as an America, from how
you hold your fork, to how you cross your legs. If you stink
of an American deodorant, you’re spotted. The German’s made a
sport of picking out American spies in Europe during WW II.
There are subtle cultural differences that you are not going
to be able to learn in time to blend in well. Don’t even
bother. You’ll stink of fear if you do, and that, more than
anything else, will draw attention to you.

"Stephen Glynn" wrote in message
...
JohnT wrote:
"Mike O'sullivan" wrote in message
...

snip

11. Lose 200 pounds
12. Eat green vegetables openly
13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.


14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local
currency.
15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout
"fill
the bar".

JohnT



18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your fork.

Americans eat like that??? Those effin heathen *******s!!
Hide the children Mary, he's having steak!

BfB

18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your
fork.

Americans eat like that??? Those effin heathen *******s!!
Hide the children Mary, he's having steak!

I hope you havn't been watching Deadwood...

I'll just be me wherever I go.
"Be what you is, not what you is not." :-)

"Peter File" wrote in message
...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Lose some weight.
Try to remember that in Europe we don't have 30lb steaks for dinner.
Drive a car that is more economical then a 15 ton SUV that does around 10
gallons to the mile.
When entering a sports bar, never ask if thay can put on the baseball.

Wow, you've got a well researched opinion of the average
American. snicker

BfB

Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
tourists?

Ugly sentiments sting American tourists
By Marco R. della Cava, USA TODAY

"I'd say one in three conversations wound up the same way, basically that
'America is the devil.'


But if you're heading overseas, be prepared to have it. Again and again. If
the past 100 years were widely considered the American Century, this new one
is fast shaping up as the Anti-American Century.
http://tinyurl.com/6twj


Ho, sure... But people who criticize Bush and other americans for
unjustified, excessive use of physical force are not going to use
force themselves, usually.

Looks like violent people just cannot imagine others may really
be different...

On-Liner wrote:

"JohnT" wrote


15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.


Wrong way round.

UK McD's don't serve beer.

Mind you, they barely serve edible food either - or is that McD's in
general?




They do, or so I'm told, sell beer in some French and German McD's.
I've never tested the truth of this since they sell beer in lots of
other places in France and Germany, too.

Steve

Magda wrote:

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 11:10:03 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, Padraig Breathnach
arranged some electrons, so they looked like this :

... "pencil" wrote:
...
...
... "Mean Mr Mustard" wrote in message
... om...
...
... Any other suggestions?
...
... Lose about 25 stones.
...
... That doesn't mean "get your rocks off". Brits have quaint systems of
... weights and measures.

25 stones = 158.7573 Kg.


Don't try to confuse Americans by using metric. Twenty five stone = 350lb.

Steve

"The Rifleman" wrote in message
...
And I still say leave your American kids at home)

That one I have to agree with. Except for my grandson, who is
at four, already an experienced world traveler, and a well behaved
representative of America. (imho)

BfB

Mean Mr Mustard wrote in message
m...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?
---------
Wearing a ten gallon hat and addressing people as "buddy" while chewing gum
would probably be a bad idea. Another bad move would be assuming that Europe
consists entirely of south-east England, as you have done.

--
You are Not entering Chapeltown.
We walk on two legs, the one abstract
the other surreal.
All important political action should be
aimed at persuading people of the
necessity of further sacrifices.
- Ardian Vehbiu, "Handbook for
Aspiring Stalinists"
--