No worries about Mad Cow. New Rules - Cow-lateral Damage - travelers nofear

The administration has implemented new rules to ease the nerves (and associated
cranial tissue). Tom Heifferridge has been named the new Crutzfeld Czar. He
has announced:
We will be implementing a new set of flags and alerts which will begin on Boxing
Day.

Minimal Cowlateral Damage - flag will be mottled brown and white
- specific guideline avoid flying cattle and watch out for flying
pigs. -testing will continue as always cows will be tested after
entering food supply.
Medium Cowlateral Damage - flag will be mottled black and white
-avoid shaky and falling cows. Testing done within 5 days of infected
cattle being introduced to food supply.
High Cowlateal Damage - Flag will be brown and black and white with glass of
milk in background.
- avoid milk and cereal and switch to bacon and eggs. avoid above
mentioned guidelines.
-Testing will be done within 3 weeks but (results will not be disclosed)
by Heifferburton and beef will be $30 a pound

The Beef and Drug association (BDA) has implemented strict guidelines. No
cattle shall be imported because we cannot be sure of the safety of the foreign
cattle at lower prices even if cattle grown in U.S.

Guerseyfeld says "Are cows safe?" Reports that say that something hasn't
happened are always interesting to me,
because as we know, there are known
knowns; there are things we know we
know. We also know there are known unknowns;
that is to say we know
there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown
unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know.'
Its gonna be along slog through the barn,
put yer boots on.

Dick Guernsey says "We have to be ready for a lot of cowlateral damage. As a
patriarch it is important that we continue eating burgers and fries with an
occasional spinal cord thrown in just to show we ain't scared."

Fox News say "Cowlateral damage is important for the economy to
improve and will give the unemployed an added boost as some stagger out of the
job market."

Mothers of Farmers commiserate about how their poor sons and daughters toil from
dawn til dusk and back again hand feeding their cows and the public doesn't
appreciate them.


Rush will continue to send his maid to grocery stores to pick up hormone and
drug improved beef without a prescription.

I for one will continue eating beef until you pry that bbq'd rib out of my poor
trembling
hands.