Hotel Hoppa at Heathrow

Has anyone had the misfortune to use this appalling service lately?
Yesterday morning, it took 25 minutes to get off the airport and to anywhere
vaguely resembling a hotel, having picked up at Terminal Two, then going to
3, then pulling into a bay somewhere odd, changing drivers, going through
vast swathes of airport roadworks, into uncharted bowels and tunnels,
stopping at dozens of traffic-lights...and eventually to the exit, through
the main tunnel and onto the A4 Bath Road!

And they (National Express) charge three quid for it, on a 20 year-old,
freezing cold bus with rock-hard seats! I remember the days when airport
hotels used to provide a free courtesy bus service.

Not sure if there's any alternative, though - would a black cab take you to
a local hotel? Perhaps utl's Mike Hughes could enlighten me?

Ian