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A little culture...



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 24th, 2004, 12:16 PM
Frank Slootweg
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Default A little culture...

For those who do not read rec.humor.funny[.reruns].

[ This is a repost of the following article: ]
[ From: (Brad Donison) ]
[ Subject: A little culture... ]
[ Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns ]
[ Message-ID: ]


Cultural differences explained:

Ausssies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of
themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when
abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches,
to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other
fans.
Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and
basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and
how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in
every sport they played them in.

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor
in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor
in a backwards country.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to
the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be
bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
the anthem.

Americans: Drink weak, ****y-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, ****y-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting ****.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past
citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present
citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once
Canadian.
Aussies: Wollow on about how some of their past citizens were once
outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid
assimilation.
Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump their old
ways.
Brits: Encourages immigrants to go to Canada or America.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great commedians, like John Candy, Martin
Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them
because they don't understand subtle humor.

--
From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and
Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup
rec.humor.funny.

Web users, you can read a random joke from the archives just by bookmarking
http://www.netfunny.com/cgi-bin/rand...kes/masterlist
  #2  
Old February 24th, 2004, 01:04 PM
Alan
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Default A little culture...

On 24 Feb 2004 11:16:27 GMT, Frank Slootweg
wrote:

For those who do not read rec.humor.funny[.reruns].


Hi Frank. Take it over to a.s.d. It will probably start a flame war with
some of the US posters there.
I was going to do that myself until I saw it was you :-)

Unfortunately, most of them won't get it :-(

Cheers Alan (the Oz T2)

  #3  
Old February 24th, 2004, 03:49 PM
Frank Slootweg
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Posts: n/a
Default A little culture...

Alan wrote:
On 24 Feb 2004 11:16:27 GMT, Frank Slootweg
wrote:

For those who do not read rec.humor.funny[.reruns].


Hi Frank. Take it over to a.s.d. It will probably start a flame war with
some of the US posters there.
I was going to do that myself until I saw it was you :-)


Feel free to do so, but please use/add m.h.d as I don't read a.s.d.

Unfortunately, most of them won't get it :-(


That is why I didn't add any US related soc.* groups, but did add
r.t.a+n, so Raffi et al can have a ball.
  #5  
Old February 25th, 2004, 03:13 AM
Alan
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Posts: n/a
Default A little culture...

On 24 Feb 2004 14:49:23 GMT, Frank Slootweg
wrote:

Alan wrote:
On 24 Feb 2004 11:16:27 GMT, Frank Slootweg
wrote:

For those who do not read rec.humor.funny[.reruns].


Hi Frank. Take it over to a.s.d. It will probably start a flame war with
some of the US posters there.
I was going to do that myself until I saw it was you :-)


Feel free to do so, but please use/add m.h.d as I don't read a.s.d.

Unfortunately, most of them won't get it :-(


That is why I didn't add any US related soc.* groups, but did add
r.t.a+n, so Raffi et al can have a ball.



Nah, I'll leave it up to you.
Did you finally get cheesed off with touchy/feelys in a.s.d or was it
the jingoism? or something else? Remove starch if you don't want to talk
publicly.

Cheers Alan

  #6  
Old February 25th, 2004, 01:44 PM
Frank Slootweg
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Posts: n/a
Default A little culture...

Raffi Balmanoukian a wrote:
No Dutch addenda and insights?


Dutch: Believe you should look out for your mates. *Literally*!

Dutch: Encourage being mistaken for civilized people when abroad.

Dutch: Channels? They have canals. Programs? TV is only to light the
room and for masking the noise from the neighbours' fighting.

Dutch: Why watch sport when you can wreck trains instead?

Dutch: Will jabber on incessantly about how they could have beaten the
Germans in football.

Dutch: Have a throat-disease, but call it a language.

Dutch: Export everything they have and then buy it back at double the
price.

Dutch: Have a 100,000 Euro prize for anyone who knows the words to their
anthem. Sofar there has been one candidate, from Belgium.

Dutch: Export their beer and rightfully so. ROTFLOL when they hear
people liking Heineken.

Dutch: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of past and present
citizins of other countries.

Dutch: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect, in
*others*.

Dutch: Encourage immigrants, then discourage them. When that doesn't
work, they deport them.

Dutch: Don't have a climate, only weather and not very good weather at
that.

Dutch: Comedians? That word is not in their language.
 




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