An American tourist

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and
explore the city on his own.

He wanders around seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint
pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood --
big, stately residences, no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and
worst of all, NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really is desperate after all that Guinness. He finds a narrow side
street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and
decides to use the wall to solve his problem. But as he is unzipping
he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobbie who says, "I
say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, REALLY
have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobbie..."Just follow me." He leads him to a back
delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobbie, "whiz away, ... anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he
has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains,
sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect
bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he zips down and unburdens himself
and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobbie, "that was
really decent of you ... is that "British hospitality?"

"No" replied the bobbie with a satisfied smile on his face, "that is
the French Embassy."

This might happen in the USA: never in the UK!
Our police are far too well-mannered.

"Curt Strubhar" wrote in message
s.com...
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and
explore the city on his own.

He wanders around seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint
pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood --
big, stately residences, no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and
worst of all, NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really is desperate after all that Guinness. He finds a narrow side
street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and
decides to use the wall to solve his problem. But as he is unzipping
he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobbie who says, "I
say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, REALLY
have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobbie..."Just follow me." He leads him to a back
delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobbie, "whiz away, ... anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he
has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains,
sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect
bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he zips down and unburdens himself
and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobbie, "that was
really decent of you ... is that "British hospitality?"

"No" replied the bobbie with a satisfied smile on his face, "that is
the French Embassy."

Following up to Curt Strubhar

He wanders around seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint
pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.

why is he drinking Guinless in London?
--
Mike Reid
"Art is the lie that reveals the truth" P.Picasso
Walking, Wasdale, Thames path, London etc "http://www.fellwalk.co.uk" -- you can email us@ this site
Spain, food and walking "http://www.fell-walker.co.uk" -- dontuse@ all, it's a spamtrap

Following up to Marie Lewis

This might happen in the USA: never in the UK!
Our police are far too well-mannered.

sure, ****ing in the street is fine in UK (not)
--
Mike Reid
"Art is the lie that reveals the truth" P.Picasso
Walking, Wasdale, Thames path, London etc "http://www.fellwalk.co.uk" -- you can email us@ this site
Spain, food and walking "http://www.fell-walker.co.uk" -- dontuse@ all, it's a spamtrap

"The Reid" wrote in message
...
Following up to Curt Strubhar

He wanders around seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint
pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.

why is he drinking Guinless in London?

Why shouldn't he be?

Following up to Mark Hewitt

why is he drinking Guinless in London?

Why shouldn't he be?

as a visitor trying to soak up the atmosphere he should be
drinking a local "real ale" like "London Pride" or the evocative
named "Youngs Ordinary" not some tasteless over advertised keg.
--
Mike Reid
"Art is the lie that reveals the truth" P.Picasso
Walking, Wasdale, Thames path, London etc "http://www.fellwalk.co.uk" -- you can email us@ this site
Spain, food and walking "http://www.fell-walker.co.uk" -- dontuse@ all, it's a spamtrap

"The Reid" wrote in message
...
Following up to Mark Hewitt

why is he drinking Guinless in London?

Why shouldn't he be?

as a visitor trying to soak up the atmosphere he should be
drinking a local "real ale" like "London Pride" or the evocative
named "Youngs Ordinary" not some tasteless over advertised keg.

But this is an American tourist were talking about here. Maybe he was
confused ;-)

On Sun, 21 Mar 2004 10:41:46 +0000, The Reid
wrote:

Following up to Mark Hewitt

why is he drinking Guinless in London?

Why shouldn't he be?

as a visitor trying to soak up the atmosphere he should be
drinking a local "real ale" like "London Pride" or the evocative
named "Youngs Ordinary" not some tasteless over advertised keg.

I'm sorry to disagree with you, Mr Reid, but many people start,
innocently enough, on London Pride, which is the beginning of a
slippery slope which ends in ESB..

You know, and I know, that a couple of pints of ESB will render the
visitor not only guinless, but quite probably legless as well.

If I had time I would laugh

"Curt Strubhar" a écrit dans le message de
s.com...
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and
explore the city on his own.

He wanders around seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint
pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood --
big, stately residences, no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and
worst of all, NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really is desperate after all that Guinness. He finds a narrow side
street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and
decides to use the wall to solve his problem. But as he is unzipping
he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobbie who says, "I
say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, REALLY
have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobbie..."Just follow me." He leads him to a back
delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobbie, "whiz away, ... anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he
has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains,
sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect
bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he zips down and unburdens himself
and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobbie, "that was
really decent of you ... is that "British hospitality?"

"No" replied the bobbie with a satisfied smile on his face, "that is
the French Embassy."

Following up to Keith Anderson

I'm sorry to disagree with you, Mr Reid, but many people start,
innocently enough, on London Pride, which is the beginning of a
slippery slope which ends in ESB..

I'm confused, at first I thought you were disagreeing with me,
then I thought you must be agreeing with me :-)

I recommend Theakston's Old Peculier to all visitors to UK who
are tempted to have a Guinless.
--
Mike Reid
"Art is the lie that reveals the truth" P.Picasso
Walking, Wasdale, Thames path, London etc "http://www.fellwalk.co.uk" -- you can email us@ this site
Spain, food and walking "http://www.fell-walker.co.uk" -- dontuse@ all, it's a spamtrap