How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote in message
m...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing

You don't need to bother with this one, you will just look like
an Italian.

(You know the joke about how to silence an Italian?)

tim

Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.

"The Independent" wrote in message
...
Why are you doing business with the sons of bitches????

Oh' he's probably a US general trying to find some troops who dont kill
women and kids?

On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, (Mean Mr Mustard)
wrote:


Any other suggestions?

Oh yeah...and don't expect the same level of service that you get in
the US.
Someone told me once that their American friends came here and when
they wanted an ice cream from a roadside seller, they pulled up and
sat in their car waiting for the ice cream to be brought over to them.


We pack our own groceries here.

.. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
holiday...
***************************
**** off Wendy, Wales is a muddy rain drenched lump of rock full of
pyromaniacs and manic depresssives ) And Screaming Arse bandit Labour
ministers who wont attend the D Day celebrations.

nobby landowner.

2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone

Only in England or Finland.


Face facts the Welsh will ignore him, the Irish will try and con him and the
jocks will just try to borrow money off him ) whilst the English will
still call him a damn colonial.

And I still say leave your American kids at home)

On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 10:48:49 +0200, "tim"
wrote:



(You know the joke about how to silence an Italian?)


Tie his hands behind his back?

It's true - people have been ready to send me to the nuthouse on
account of my gesticulating in public too much!

On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
wrote:



Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.



What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?

"Maria" wrote in message
...
On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, (Mean Mr Mustard)
wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
tourists?

Maria, I've think you've taken this post a little bit too seriously.

tim