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Old December 18th, 2014, 09:13 AM posted to rec.travel.cruises
Ermalee McCauley[_3_]
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Default Louise

Christmas with Louise has been posted on r.t.c. for more than ten
years during the Christmas season. Here you go again! Enjoy!

Christmas with Louise

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true,
because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids stockings were
overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
went in search of an inflatable love doll. Of course, they don't sell
those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If
you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse
yourself. I was there almost three hours saying things like, "What does
this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who owns that?" Finally I made it to the
inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll
suitable for a night of romance that could also sub as a passenger in my
car so I could use the car pool lane. Finding what I wanted was
difficult as love dolls come in many models. I figured the
"vibro-motion" was a feature my brother could live without so I settled
for Lovable Louise. She also was at the bottom of the price scale. To
call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to
life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and left the front door
unlocked. In the wee hours of the morning long after Santa had come and
gone I snuck into the house and filled the dangling panty hose with
Louise's pliant legs and bottom. Then I let myself out, went home, and
giggled for hours.

The next morning Jay called to say that Santa had been to his house and
left a present that made him VERY happy but the dog was confused. The
dog would bark and bark. I suggested he purchase an inflatable Lassie.
We also agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest
of the family could admire her when they came for the traditional
dinner. It seemed like a great idea, except we forgot Grandma and
Grandpa would be there.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What
the hell is that?" she asked. "It's a doll." replied my brother. "Who
would play with something like that?" she replied "And where are her
clothes?" "Boy that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, trying to
steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless.

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me
and said, "Hey who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him she was
Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel
talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then
that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

Dinner went well. We made the usual small talk when suddenly Louise made
a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the morning. She then
lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice and fell in a
heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed, I passed cranberry sauce
through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and
began administering mouth to mouth. My brother wet his pants and Granny
threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It
was indeed a Christmas to treasure.

Later we discovered the cause of Louise's collapse as she had suffered
from a hot ember to the back of her thigh. Thanks to duct tape we
restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several
bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can
get out of the house.

Old December 18th, 2014, 08:14 PM posted to rec.travel.cruises
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Posts: 242
Default Louise

On 12/18/2014 1:13 AM, Ermalee McCauley wrote:
Christmas with Louise has been posted on r.t.c. for more than ten
years during the Christmas season. Here you go again! Enjoy!

Christmas with Louise

Thank you! I almost forgot about this.
Old December 18th, 2014, 11:28 PM posted to rec.travel.cruises
Bob Cotter[_2_]
external usenet poster
Posts: 2
Default Louise

On Thursday, December 18, 2014 1:13:18 AM UTC-8, Ermalee McCauley wrote:
Christmas with Louise has been posted on r.t.c. for more than ten
years during the Christmas season. Here you go again! Enjoy!

Ermalee, I am so happy I stopped by today.

Cheers... Bob

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