Questions & Answers "about Africa".

Q: Does it ever get windy in Kenya ? I have never seen it rain on
TV,so how do the plants grow? ( UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them...die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Nairobito Nakuru - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres....take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Kenya ? ( Sweden).
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Kenya ? Can you send me a
list of them in Nairobiand Mombasa? ( UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in Kenya ?
( USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-
fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which
does not...oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday
night in Koinange Street .. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Kenya ? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees..Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Kenya ? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Do you have perfume in Kenya ? ( France )
A: No. We don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Kenya ? ( USA)
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the, regions in Kenya where the female population
is smaller than the male population? ( Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Kenya ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in Kenya ? ( Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Nairobi,and is milk available all year
round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk
is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Kenya who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from.
AllKenyan snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.

Q: I was in Kenya in 1969 and I want to contact the girl I dated while
I was staying in Mombasa. Can you help? ( USA)
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first...!!!!!!!!!!