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#21
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On 25 Jun 2005 23:28:07 -0700, "Tchiowa" wrote:
waggg wrote: On 25 Jun 2005 08:43:31 -0700, "Tchiowa" wrote: You mean to a once great wine that has since turned to vinegar, don't you? I've been to Paris at least 50 times. The first half dozen were interesting. Beautiful architecture and some interesting shops. Get past the buildings and there just isn't anything left worth bothering with. If you're going to Europe make it London, Budapest, Rome, Amsterdam or take a ferry down to Tangiers and over to Fez. Paris just isn't worth the effort. I would be courious what makes London, Budapest, Rome, Amsterdam or Morocco so much better. What are you searching in your trips ? Culture. People. The Medina in Fez is "an adventure". You meet people with a dramatically different lifestyle and view of the world. Friendly, interesting people. Paris clearly used to be like that. But the bitterness of the French about everything in the world around them, particularly if you're English speaking, is palpable. They believe that they were once Masters of the World and they are bitter because they believe that England, US, Germany, basically everyone else is depriving them of their rightful place in the world. And it shows in their behavior. ..... huh ? ... hmm well if you say so. I think you're wrong. Get outside of Paris and you don't see that. But in Paris it dominates. You don't see that elsewhere in France. You don't see that in Berlin or Amsterdam or O Porto or Rome or London or ....... My job used to require that I go through Paris once a month. The first several times I made sure that I laid over in Paris for at least as week. Got disgusted with the place. Now I arrange to lay over in Bangkok or London or Perth or somewhere enjoyable. ok. |
#23
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waggg wrote:
On 25 Jun 2005 23:28:07 -0700, "Tchiowa" wrote: waggg wrote: On 25 Jun 2005 08:43:31 -0700, "Tchiowa" wrote: You mean to a once great wine that has since turned to vinegar, don't you? I've been to Paris at least 50 times. The first half dozen were interesting. Beautiful architecture and some interesting shops. Get past the buildings and there just isn't anything left worth bothering with. If you're going to Europe make it London, Budapest, Rome, Amsterdam or take a ferry down to Tangiers and over to Fez. Paris just isn't worth the effort. I would be courious what makes London, Budapest, Rome, Amsterdam or Morocco so much better. What are you searching in your trips ? Culture. People. The Medina in Fez is "an adventure". You meet people with a dramatically different lifestyle and view of the world. Friendly, interesting people. Paris clearly used to be like that. But the bitterness of the French about everything in the world around them, particularly if you're English speaking, is palpable. They believe that they were once Masters of the World and they are bitter because they believe that England, US, Germany, basically everyone else is depriving them of their rightful place in the world. And it shows in their behavior. .... huh ? ... hmm well if you say so. I think you're wrong. I'm afraid that Tchiowa has pointed _exactly_ the issue. And it is getting worser every day. I also used to visit Paris very frequently for business reasons. O, what are these people frustrated ! I think that the sour bitterness is even spreading to the borders of france. |
#24
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waggg wrote:
On Sun, 26 Jun 2005 02:33:11 GMT, "michael" wrote: "waggg" wrote in message ... On Sat, 25 Jun 2005 22:29:48 GMT, "Dieter Aaaa" Dieter While Islam is the cancer of the world, France is definitely its syphilis. http://www.****france.com/index.html Do you realize that advertising and doinbg the apology of a website that contaisn ****-name.com is a serious indicator that your IQ is most likely below the average human level ? ... yeah, but it's still a sure bet to be way higher than that of a person who confuses etiquette with intelligence... There's no need to talk about Netiquette. I wasn't. Really ? Then, how do i have to understasnd your sentence: "Do you ..." Was that just your proclamation of your personal religion or what ? Here is another one for you: "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind." (Jed Babbin, former U.S. Deputy Undersecretary of Defense) |
#25
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waggg wrote:
On Sat, 25 Jun 2005 22:45:03 GMT, "Dieter Aaaa" Dieter wrote: waggg wrote: http://www.jack-travel.com/Paris/Par..._Parisians.htm Paris-Parisians-Les Parisiens Who are the Parisians? Are they the prostitutes in leather mini skirts on rue St.Denis, the"clochard" sleeping off a bottle of red wine in the Metro, the society hostess in Chanel, the yuppie stockbroker weaving home from the Bourse on his scooter, the children from the Opera Ballet school affectionately know as "les petits rats", the au pairs hiding from their mothers in the city's American bars, the Algerian greengrocer or the Portuguese concierge, the stately African chief from Sierra Leone, the law student from La Sorbonne and the old lady in the in her bedroom slippers feeding the pigeons. People are what lend any city its vibrancy and Paris is no exception. Stripped of its human population, Paris would be no more than a collection of buildings and monuments, architecturally beautiful maybe, but a sad, cold place nonetheless. John Steinbeck once wrote: "No other city in the world has been better loved or more celebrated. Scarcely has the traveller arrived that he feels himself in the grip of this city, which is more than a city. A great part of the allure of Paris lies with the Parisians themselves, with their charm, their individualism, their diversity." For the 23 millions who visit it each year, Paris is a grand seductress, a mistress or a lover. Hundreds of thousands of people are carrying on an illicit affair with her. Some manage a quick fling, others the love affair endures a lifetime. But some visitors and Parisians have their favourite stereotypical types whom they love to hate, from the haughty, patronising shop assistant too busy adjusting her lipstick to give the customers the time of day, who refuses to let you enter his cab because are not heading in "his" direction, and to the indifferent bureaucrat who keeps you waiting for three hours only to inform you that you lack a vital document (usually your electricity bill :-)) without which he is unable to help you. But this happens in all major cities all over the world. Recent campaigns in the French press exhorted Parisians to good behaviour and deplored the sometimes-unfriendly welcome, which is become rather rare lately. Parisians are no longer under any illusions. Only 38 percent consider themselves kind, while almost unanimous 92 percent admit they are under stress. 82 percent also own up, with more than a touch of Gallic pride, to being "individualistes", a description which anyone who has had more than a passing acquaintance with the city may suspect of doubling as a convenient excuse for a multitude of sins of the "me first" variety. And yet, the American author Arthur Miller, who spent many years in the capital and was better placed than most to make and objective judgment, stated that he had more respect for the French "than any other nationality on the face of the earth." While conceding that "the French may not be the jolliest, happiest or the easiest people to get along with, a Frenchman makes the best kind of friend. Though he may be difficult to get to know, once he lets you into his life he'll be your friend forever. God save me from that kind of friends ! ... Let's try to understand. You flee veritable friendship to research superficial ones ? Did I understand ? ROFL Eternal gratitude Syphilis, sive Morbvs Gallicvs (Syphilis, or the French Disease) is the title of a Latin epic poem written by Girolamo Fracastoro or Hieronymus Fracastorius, (1483-1553). It is the first known reference to this important French contribution to civilization. While Islam is the cancer of the world, France is definitely its syphilis. http://www.****france.com/index.html http://nationaljournal.com/about/njw...03/1107nj1.htm The French Were Right By Paul Starobin, National Journal © National Journal Group Inc. Friday, Nov. 7, 2003 Goed heaven, holy moly ! Are you against the Iraq invasion ? Here is another one for you: (today on the BBC) http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4624977.stm The French former sports minister has withdrawn from the Paris bid to stage the 2012 Olympic Games because of his involvement in a corruption court case. Guy Drut is also standing down from his duties within the International Olympic Committee (IOC). He says he is innocent of the charges, but does not want to harm Paris' chances of hosting the event. _______ I can provide you with such a story every day if you like. Just let me know |
#26
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Kenneth wrote:
Onigiri wrote on 6/24/05 9:10 PM: japanese call kyoto-ites or whatever they are the french of japan because they are arrogant snobs and i have been there and i agree. I HATE KYOTO ! I will never got to that place again the people act like they are all on drugs and spaced out. I had people yelling at me to move the double parked car i was in and i was laughing at them i swear to gawd they were turning red and wanted to kill me , i have alot of stories about that place , those people are the most messed up japanese on earth and i really mean it... tokyo kicks ass ! brilliant green is the only thing good to ever come out of that place but i never met them personally Sorry to inform you that when Tokyo kicks your ass, that is not a compliment. Well said. John W. |
#27
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"waggg" wrote in message ... Do you realize that advertising and doinbg the apology of a website that contaisn ****-name.com is a serious indicator that your IQ is most likely below the average human level ? ... yeah, but it's still a sure bet to be way higher than that of a person who confuses etiquette with intelligence... There's no need to talk about Netiquette. I wasn't. and neither was i... thanks for the confirmation of my thesis... michael |
#28
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On Sun, 26 Jun 2005 19:15:32 GMT, "Dieter Aaaa" Dieter
wrote: On Sat, 25 Jun 2005 22:29:48 GMT, "Dieter Aaaa" Dieter While Islam is the cancer of the world, France is definitely its syphilis. http://www.****france.com/index.html Do you realize that advertising and doinbg the apology of a website that contaisn ****-name.com is a serious indicator that your IQ is most likely below the average human level ? ... yeah, but it's still a sure bet to be way higher than that of a person who confuses etiquette with intelligence... There's no need to talk about Netiquette. I wasn't. Really ? Then, how do i have to understasnd your sentence: "Do you ..." Was that just your proclamation of your personal religion or what ? Yes I was stating the obvious. For most people of course. Here is another one for you: "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind." When USA will have the same military glory than France you will be granted the right to judge. In the meantime just fade. BTW before adding a stupid full of ignorance and arrogance comment do some basic hitorical researches, TIA. (Jed Babbin, former U.S. Deputy Undersecretary of Defense) Here's a good one for you Captain Courage :-) http://news.tbo.com/news/MGALSISEZDD.html Grenade Attack Fragging Throwback? By GEORGE CORYELL Published: Apr 2, 2003 TAMPA - The grenade explosion in Kuwait's Camp Pennsylvania killed two officers, injured 14 and ripped through memories of soldiers who served in Vietnam. Was fragging back? The term was coined during the late 1960s and early 1970s, so-called because the fragmentation grenade was a favorite tool of U.S. troops who sought to kill or maim unpopular officers at the height of the conflict in Southeast Asia. ``When you get a commander who's perceived as a glory hound and not out for the troops, you've got the potential for fragging,'' said Ron Mooneyhan, 55, who served as a lieutenant with the 101st Airborne in Vietnam in 1969 and 1970. However, the attack March 22 at Camp Pennsylvania - two days after the war in Iraq began - seems far removed from the circumstances that led to fragging in Vietnam. The sergeant suspected of the attack in Iraq, a black Muslim, is described as resentful about alleged religious and racial discrimination in the Army. Killed in the attack on a brigade command center of the 101st Airborne Division were Army Capt. Christopher Scott Seifert, 27, of Easton, Pa., and Air Force Maj. Gregory Stone, 40, from Boise, Idaho. Command Tents Targeted The Army said three grenades were thrown or rolled into the front opening of three command tents. A military magistrate has found probable cause that U.S. Army Sgt. Asan Akbar committed the crime. Akbar has been moved to Germany and could face charges of murder and aggravated assault. ``I'm rather surprised it did happen,'' said Cecil Currey, 70, a military historian who teaches a class at the University of South Florida. ``In Vietnam, in terms of fragging, it was a real problem. [Noncommissioned officers] and junior officers there lost most of their authority because they were afraid someone would take them out. There were bounties on officers. I'd hate to see that come back.'' From 1969 to 1972, such killings took at least 86 lives in Vietnam and wounded at least 788, according to an Associated Press report. Rod Nishimura, who retired as an Army Special Forces colonel from the U.S. Special Operations Command in 1996, served in Vietnam with the 25th Infantry Division in 1967 and 1968. Nishimura, 57, of Brandon, said his time in Vietnam was before fragging became widespread. ``When my brother went over in 1970, he said it was a whole different situation,'' Nishimura said. ``The morale problems were getting bad and race was more of an issue. I was fortunate that I didn't experience those kinds of problems.'' Nishimura said he thought the Iraq case would be an isolated incident. ``I would say something is wrong with the individual guy,'' he said. ``I don't think there is widespread dissatisfaction in the 101st. Now that they're committed to battle, they're going to focus their energy on the enemy.'' Different Conditions By 1968, several factors were creating morale problems in Vietnam. War protests in the United States were becoming larger. The number of teenagers drafted to fight who didn't want to be there was growing. The assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. reminded black soldiers of their aggrieved status in much of the United States. And the drug problem among soldiers was worsening. ``When I went in the military and when I went out, the country did a 180,'' Mooneyhan, of Tampa, said. ``Then you got people who were incompetent sending you in harm's way for something you don't really believe in. The black-white issue became more of a problem. Black soldiers saw Martin Luther King [Jr.] killed when they didn't have freedom.'' The situation today is different in many ways. It is an all- volunteer Army, and the 101st is a 22,000-member division known as a gung-ho, hard- charging unit. Drugs are far less of a problem. Although race relations are strained at times, the Army typically has a wide cross section of minority officers. One Nashville newspaper, The Tennessean, reported Akbar had told his mother he feared persecution because he is a Muslim and was reprimanded recently for insubordination. Insubordination could become more common, feeding such attacks, depending on the course of the war. ``This was supposed to be a pushover. Now they're talking about weeks and months,'' Currey, the military historian, said. ``If the enlisted soldiers feel they are in an impossible situation, especially if chemical or biological weapons are used against them, I'd expect we'd see fragging again. People will turn against authority again.'' Mooneyhan said this was probably an isolated incident, unless the war drags on and U.S. casualties go up. ``This is starting to be the same guerilla-type situation as Vietnam, where you're starting to get shot in the back by the locals,'' he said. ``There is no rear area.'' |
#29
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On Sun, 26 Jun 2005 19:15:32 GMT, "Dieter Aaaa" Dieter
wrote: Here is another one for you: "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind." (Jed Babbin, former U.S. Deputy Undersecretary of Defense) http://www.financialsense.com/editor...004/0409b.html In Praise of Cowards by Bill Bonner Editor, The Daily Reckoning Date, 2004 The Daily Reckoning PRESENTS How did the word 'French' become synonymous with 'yellow-belly'? Bill Bonner peruses the blood-stained pages of history... "Rien ne saurait interrompre les actions généreusement bienfaisantes de la France en Indochine." (Nothing can stop the generous good works of France in Indochina [Vietnam].) - Indo-China Governor-General Pierre Pasquier, 1930 A joke made its way around the Internet following the train bombings in Madrid: "In response to the terrorism events in Madrid, the French government announced a change in its alert status...from 'run' to 'hide.' If the threat worsens, the French may be forced to increase their level of security, declaring a move to 'surrender' or 'collaboration' status as events develop." One of the many conceits Americans permit themselves is that they bravely face up to the world's terrorist menace, while others - most notably, the French - cower in fear. Elsewhere, in the International Herald Tribune, comes a letter to the editor in which the writer takes issue with an apparently widespread report that John Kerry is worried about looking "too French" and that this is a sign of "weakness" in the eyes of the lumpen voters. We stop still in our tracks. We hold our breath. There must be a price to be paid for such arrogant dumbo-ism. But Americans are ready to believe anything - if it flatters them. Anyone who has ever cracked open a history book couldn't help but know that French history is drenched in blood. When it came to butchering each other, what the Gaullic tribes didn't know about it probably wasn't worth knowing. And then, there were the wars with the Romans...and with the English...and religious wars...and wars with between princes...between kingdoms...wars for no reason. Weakness? Cowardice? A group of Norman French fighters no bigger than a small-town police force invaded and captured all of England. Bonaparte took on all of Europe...and almost beat them all. General Marbot records an incident in the campaign against Russia in which a group of French soldiers is cut off from the main force, but visible from the Emperor's commandpost. Realizing that they could not expect reinforcements, the brigade sent a message to Bonaparte - 'We, who are about to die, salute you.' Then, they fought to the last man. Later this month comes the anniversary of the Battle of Camerone. Napoleon's nephew sent troops to Mexico in the 1860s. In the action surrounding the siege of Puebla, a group of 60 French foreign legionnaires was cut off and confronted by an army of 2,000 Mexicans. The Mexican commander asked for a surrender. Instead, the French vowed to fight to the last man. Trapped in an inn, the soldiers had nothing to eat or drink. Then, the Mexicans set the place on fire. "In spite of the heat and smoke," explains a report on the Internet, "the legionnaires resisted, but many of them were killed or injured. By 5 pm on April 30, 1863, only 12 men could still fight with 2nd Lieutenant Maudet. At this time, the Mexican colonel gathered his soldiers and told them what a disgrace it would be if they were unable to defeat such a small number of men. The Mexicans were about to give the general assault through the holes opened in the walls of the courtyard...[they] once again asked Lieutenant Maudet to surrender. Once again, Maudet scornfully refused. "The final charge was given. Soon, only 5 men were left around Maudet; Corporal Maine, legionnaires Catteau, Wensel, Constantin, and Leonard. Each had only one bullet left. In a corner of the courtyard, their backs against the wall, still facing the enemy, they fixed bayonets. When the signal was given, they opened fired and fought with their bayonets. Luitenant Maudet and 2 legionnaires fell, mortally wounded. Maine, along with his 2 remaining companions, were about to be slaughtered when a Mexican officer saved them. He shouted: 'Surrender!' "'We will, only if you promise to allow us to carry and care for our injured men and if you leave us our guns.' "'Nothing can be refused to men like you,' answered the officer." And this spring also marks the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Dien Bien Phu. Writer Graham Greene visited the French just before the shooting started. He found them well supplied - with 48,000 bottles of wine. But after the Vietnamese terrorists captured the airstrips, the French were cut off and doomed. Still, they held out - hoping a diplomatic solution could be found. It did not come. After a 56 day siege, French general de Castries radioed his superior in Hanoi: "I'm blowing up the installations. The ammunition dumps are already exploding. Au revoir." "Well then," came the reply, "au revoir, mon vieux." After the fall of Indo-China, the French renounced their "civilizing mission" foreign policy. Now, it is America that tromps over the planet, claiming to make the world a better place. But when it comes to blockheaded bellicosity and desperate courage, Americans have nothing to teach the French. In comparison to Napoleon's grand campaigns, America's early wars were piddling, tawdry affairs. Its wars against the Mexicans and Spaniards, for example, were more sordid than glorious. Even its Revolutionary War was merely a minor engagement in comparison to the Napoleonic wars, and only won because the French intervened at a crucial moment to pull Americans' chestnuts out of the fire. Here, we quote Charles W. Eliot's history, in which he describes how the patriots had fallen "into a condition of despondency from which nothing but the steadfastness of Washington and the Continental army and the aid from France saved them." In WWI, the French battered themselves against the Germans for two years - and suffered more casualties than America had in all its wars put together - before the Pershing ever set foot in France. Again, in WWII, Americans waited until the combatants had been softened up...before entering the war with an extraordinary advantage in fresh soldiers and almost unlimited supplies. Americans have no history. Probably just as well. The French, on the other hand, have too much. Practically every street in Paris reminds them of a slaughter somewhere. Upon the Arc de Triomphe, Les Invalides, and dozens of other piles of stone, the names of towns in Germany, Spain, Italy, Poland, Russia...or North Africa...are inscribed. Each one marks the deaths of thousands of French soldiers - gone early to their graves for who-remembers-what important national purpose. Every town in France, even the most remote and forlorn little burg, has at its center a pillar of granite or marble - with the names of the men whose bodies were torn to bit by flying lead or corroded by some battlefield disease. A whole race of orphans grew up after WWI...and special seats on the subway were designated for those "mutilated in war" including thousands of "sans gueules" - men who had had their jaws blown away and yet survived, too horrible to look upon. The French have had enough of war - at least for now. Let them enjoy a well-earned cowardice. We will get our chance. Regards, Bill Bonner The Daily Reckoning |
#30
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http://www.exile.ru/2003-October-02/war_nerd.html
The French, By Gary Brecher The new big thing on the web is all these sites with names like "I Hate France," with supposed datelines of French military history, supposedly proving how the French are total cowards. Well, I'm going to tell you guys something you probably don't want to hear: these sites are total bull****, the notion that the French are cowards is total bull****, and anybody who knows anything about European military history knows damn well that over the past thousand years, the French have the most glorious military history in Europe, maybe the world. Before you send me more of those death threats, let me finish. I hate Chirac too, and his disco foreign minister with the blow-dry 'do and the snotty smile. But there are two things I hate more than I hate the French: ignorant fake war buffs, and people who are ungrateful. And when an American mouths off about French military history, he's not just being ignorant, he's being ungrateful. I was raised to think ungrateful people were trash. When I say ungrateful, I'm talking about the American Revolution. If you're a true American patriot, then this is the war that matters. Hell, most of you probably couldn't name three major battles from it, but try going back to when you read Johnny Tremaine in fourth grade and you might recall a little place called Yorktown, Virginia, where we bottled up Cornwallis's army, forced the Brits' surrender and pretty much won the war. Well, news flash: "we" didn't win that battle, any more than the Northern Alliance conquered the Taliban. The French army and navy won Yorktown for us. Americans didn't have the materiel or the training to mount a combined operation like that, with naval blockade and land siege. It was the French artillery forces and military engineers who ran the siege, and at sea it was a French admiral, de Grasse, who kicked the **** out of the British navy when they tried to break the siege. Long before that, in fact as soon as we showed the Brits at Saratoga that we could win once in a while, they started pouring in huge shipments of everything from cannon to uniforms. We'd never have got near Yorktown if it wasn't for massive French aid. So how come you *******s don't mention Yorktown in your cheap webpages? I'll tell you why: because you're too ignorant to know about it and too dishonest to mention it if you did. The thing that gets to me is why Americans hate the French so much when they only did us good and never did us any harm. Like, why not hate the Brits? They're the ones who killed thousands of Americans in the Revolution, and thirty years later they came back and attacked us again. That time around they managed to burn Washington DC to the ground while they were at it. How come you web jerks never mention that? Sure, the easy answer is because the Brits are with us now, and the French aren't. But being a war buff means knowing your history and respecting it. Well, so much for ungrateful. Now let's talk about ignorant. And that's what you are if you think the French can't fight: just plain ignorant. Appreciation of the French martial spirit is just about the most basic way you can distinguish real war nerds from fake little teachers'pets. Let's take the toughest case first: the German invasion, 1940, when the French Army supposedly disgraced itself against the Wehrmacht. This is the only real evidence you'll find to call the French cowards, and the more you know about it, the less it proves. Yeah, the French were scared of Hitler. Who wasn't? Chamberlain, the British prime minister, all but licked the Fuhrer's goosesteppers, basically let him have all of Central Europe, because Britain was terrified of war with Germany. Hell, Stalin signed a sweetheart deal with Hitler out of sheer terror, and Stalin wasn't a man who scared easy. The French were scared, all right. But they had reason to be. For starters, they'd barely begun to recover from their last little scrap with the Germans: a little squabble you might've heard of, called WW I. WW I was the worst war in history to be a soldier in. WW II was worse if you were a civilian, but the trenches of WW I were five years of Hell like General Sherman never dreamed of. At the end of it a big chunk of northern France looked like the surface of the moon, only bloodier, nothing but craters and rats and entrails. Verdun. Just that name was enough to make Frenchmen and Germans, the few who survived it, wake up yelling for years afterward. The French lost 1.5 million men out of a total population of 40 million fighting the Germans from 1914-1918. A lot of those guys died charging German machine-gun nests with bayonets. I'd really like to see one of you office smartasses joke about "surrender monkeys" with a French soldier, 1914 vintage. You'd **** your dockers. ****, we strut around like we're so tough and we can't even handle a few uppity Iraqi villages. These guys faced the Germans head on for five years, and we call them cowards? And at the end, it was the Germans, not the French, who said "calf rope." When the sequel war came, the French relied on their frontier fortifications and used their tanks (which were better than the Germans', one on one) defensively. The Germans had a newer, better offensive strategy. So they won. And the French surrendered. Which was damn sensible of them. This was the WEHRMACHT. In two years, they conquered all of Western Europe and lost only 30,000 troops in the process. That's less than the casualties of Gettysburg. You get the picture? Nobody, no army on earth, could've held off the Germans under the conditions that the French faced them. The French lost because they had a long land border with Germany. The English survived because they had the English Channel between them and the Wehrmacht. When the English Army faced the Wermacht at Dunkirk, well, thanks to spin the tuck-tail-and-flee result got turned into some heroic tale of a brilliant British retreat. The fact is, even the Brits behaved like cowards in the face of the Wermacht, abandoning the French. It's that simple. Here's a quick sampler of some of my favorite French victories, like an antidote to those ignorant websites. We'll start way back and move up to the 20th century. Tours, 732 AD: The Muslims had already taken Spain and were well on their way to taking the rest of Europe. The only power with a chance of stopping them was the French army under Charles "the Hammer" Martel, King of the Franks (French), who answered to the really cool nickname "the Hammer of God." It was the French who saved the continent's ass. All the smart money was on the Muslims: there were 60,000 of them, crazy Jihadis whose cavalry was faster and deadlier than any in Europe. The French army was heavily outnumbered and had no cavalry. Fighting in phalanxes, they held against dozens of cavalry charges and after at least two days of hand-to-hand combat, finally managed to hack their way to the Muslim center and kill their commander. The Muslims retreated to Spain, and Europe developed as an independent civilization. Orleans, May 1429: Joan of Arc: is she the most insanely cool military commander in history or what? This French peasant girl gets instructions from her favorite saints to help out the French against the English invaders. She goes to the King (well, the Dauphin, but close enough) and tells him to give her the army and she'll take it from there. And somehow she convinces him. She takes the army, which has lost every battle it's been in lately, to Orleans, which is under English siege. Now Joan is a nice girl, so she tries to settle things peaceably. She explains in a letter to the enemy commanders that everything can still be cool, "...provided you give up France...and go back to your own countries, for God's sake. And if you do not, wait for the Maid, who will visit you briefly to your great sorrow." The next day she put on armor, mounted a charger, and prepared to lead the attack on the besiegers' fortifications. She ordered the gates opened, but the Mayor refused until Joan explained that she, personally, would cut off his head. The gates went up, the French sallied out, and Joan led the first successful attack they'd made in years. The English strongpoints were taken, the siege was broken, and Joan's career in the cow-milking trade was over. Braddock's Defeat (aka Battle of Monongahela) July 1755: Next time you're driving through the Ohio Valley, remember you're passing near the site of a great French victory over an Anglo-American force twice its size. General Edward Braddock marched west from Virginia with 1,500 men--a very large army in 18th-c. America. His orders were to seize French land and forts in the Valley--your basic undeclared land-grab invasion. The French joined the local tribes to resist, and then set up a classic ambush. It was a slaughter. More than half of Braddock's force--880 men--were killed or wounded. The only Anglo officer to escape unhurt was this guy called George Washington, and even he had two horses shot out from under him. After a few minutes of non-stop fire from French and Indians hidden in the woods, Braddock's command came apart like something out of Nam, post-Tet. Braddock was hit and wounded, but none of his troops would risk getting shot to rescue him. Austerlitz, Dec. 1805: You always hear about Austerlitz as "Napoleon's Greatest Victory," like the little guy personally went out and wiped out the combined Russian and Austrian armies. The fact is, ever since the Revolution in 1789, French armies had been kicking ass against everybody. They were free citizens fighting against scared peasant and degenerate mercenaries, and it was no contest. At Austerlitz, 65,000 French troops took on 90,000 Russians and Austrians and destroyed them. Absolutely annihilated them. The French lost only 8,000, compared to 29,000 of the enemy. The tactics Bonaparte used were very risky, and would only have worked with superb troops: he encouraged the enemy to attack a weak line, then brought up reinforcements who'd been held out of sight. That kind of tactical plan takes iron discipline and perfect timing--and the French had it. Jena, Oct. 1806: just a quick reminder for anybody who thinks the Germans always beat the French. Napoleon takes on the Prussian army and destroys it. 27,000 Prussian casualties vs. 5,000 French. Prussian army routed, pursued for miles by French cavalry. You, guys might want to remember that the French under Napoleon are still the only army ever to have taken all of continental Europe, from Moscow to Madrid. I could keep listing French victories till I had a book. In fact, it's not a bad idea. A nice big hardback, so you could take it to the assholes running all the anti-French-military sites and bash their heads in with it. |
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