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Old April 5th, 2008, 12:46 PM posted to az.general,rec.travel.air,alt.fan.frank-zappa,alt.fan.dave_barry
Dave Witmarsh[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1
Default ANTU

CMELAK = DOPEY ASSHOLE
CMELAK = RETARD
CMELAK = OWNED
CMELAK = SPAMMER
CMELAK = TROLL
CMELAK = WIFE BEATER
CMELAK = FOOL
CMELAK = ****HEAD
CMELAK = CRYBABY
CMELAK = OWNED 100%
CMELAK = BAD TEETH
CMELAK = PARASITE
CMELAK = BUM

The Bill Cmelak of Antigo, Wisconsin "tribute" website:

http://www.buccaneerpublishing.com/Cmelak.htm


My name is William Bill Cmelak. I am a fat and stupid ****head. I spam
newsgroups using the following sockpuppets:

Hoodude
Hoodoo
Hoodini
Shrike!
25th Century Quaker
SSS333
Bug Bomb Pest Removal
Zaprat

I have been stalking another guy for almost four years because I am
jealous of him and because he hurt my widdle feelings and I just
cannot get over the pain.

I live in an old mobile home he

William Cmelak
N9340 Pickerel Creek Rd
Pearson, WI 54462-8140


I drive a 25 year old ex-military truck because that's all that I can
afford.

It's an old diesel truck and I drive that because I know that I can
steal heating oil to burn in the truck when I cannot afford diesel.
Which is most of the time.

My teeth are black and worn to the gum. I cannot afford to see a
dentist.

I used to brag about being retired until someone found out that I was
a handyman. I pump septic tanks for a living, when I can get work.

If my momma hadn't died and left this mobile home for me I would be
homeless.

My family says that I sponge off of them. They called me a bum and a
parasite.

My brother and Daddy drank too much and it killed them. I used to be
an alcoholic, but I had to quit. Now I go around preaching to everyone
else about them being drunks when they drink two beers.

Wonder why I don't have any friends?

I flunked out of trade school. I went to a slow-learner's high
school. Everyone used to pick on me in high school.

I spend most of my spare time at my computer using an old dial up
connection. The rest of the time I watch television 24/7.

My biggest achievement in life was being mentioning in my tiny little
hometown newspaper for spotting something odd in the crossowrd. It
wasn't a mistake or anything, but it just made me laugh.
Bahahahahhahahahahhahaha!!! I wrote to the newspaper and they
mentioned my name. My relatives all said that was because the
newspaper thought that I was an oddball, but I don't see things that
way.

I am really good at trivia, even if none of the trivia that I know is
important stuff. No one gets my jokes, and no one would ever hire me
to supervise anyone else, not even at the convenience store where I
used to work. But it doesn't matter - I are smarter than them.

No one will give me the respect that I know that I deserve.

Four years ago I was approached by an old woman named Karen Anderson
who talked me into helping her stalk and troll this guy. She had had a
crush on him and he kicked her to the curb. She drove to his town and
followed him around for two days without him knowing it. She is also
jealous of him. Anderson has stalked several other men before.

She lives at:

Karen Anderson
3590 Narrows View Lane NE #102
Bremerton, WA 98310

Anderson and I are both addicted to stalking. We know that what we do
is wrong, and we see this other guy kick our asses all the time, but
we just don't have the willpower to stop stalking him.

I am so jealous, jealous, JEALOUS of that guy that it makes me want to
BURST. I spend all of my time researching what he does, where he
lives. Hell, I even follow his eBay account.

This dude that I hate is popular in his town and community and I HATE
that. So I make up crap about him and his girlfriend and post it to
newsgroups and generally make a nusiance out of myself. Most of what
I make up is a complete figment of my imagination but if I repeat my
lies often enough maybe someone stupid will believe them.

This guy just drives me CRAZY. He's president of a motorcycle club,
he's involved with several charities. Everyone that meets him seems
to like him. I am so damned jealous that I cannot stand it.

Did I mention that I am insanely jealous?

He lives in a warm climate, and I am stuck here in the sticks of
Wisconsin, barely able to afford to keep warm.

He travels all the time and I haven't been out of Wisconsin in years.

He is active, and my health issues keep me from leaving the house.

He motorcycles all over the country and into Mexico and I cannot ride
any more. I hate that. And I hate those damned Mexicans, even though
that doesn't make me a racist because I said so.

I tell people that I am a big, tough Harley dude but the truth is that
I only owned a Sportster - sort of an entry-level Harley - for 6
months before it got repo'd.

I had a good job once. Back in 1998. Then I ****ed up, got fired,
and my wife left me. Now I cannot hold down a regular job.

This guy makes more money than I do and that can't be right. I just
know there's something wrong there.

He has a girlfriend that loves him and takes care of him and I haven't
had a date with a woman for over 10 years. And when he was single he
got laid all of the time. Now that's not right either.

My 400 lb. wife - Lori Cmelak - left me. And I miss the little
heffer, even if I did have to smack her a time or two to keep her in
line. But she won't talk to me any more, and I hate that.

What can I possibly do? I am so unhappy. I'd blow my brains out but I
cannot afford the bullets.

Signed, Bill Cmelak of Antigo, Wisconsin
 




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