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#11
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snip
- Prepare her arrival by contacting the Thai Embassy and trying to locate Thai stuff nearby your home: Food shop, Thai restaurants, Temples and, if you can, Thai expats living there. Not sure if The Thai expat population in Canada is much different than Los Angeles, but one of the things I frequently found is that many of the Thais in L.A. (there are many) are a pretty bad lot and are quick to take advantage of the new arrival. And they also lead them into trouble easily. Be careful of associations with local Thais. |
#12
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JK stands for joking, it is a type of internet shorthand.
"Broken Cloud" wrote in message oups.com... Say Hey !! Well with initials like JK gets me to thinking !! 5555 Yee-Haw !! |
#13
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"John L" wrote in message ... On Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:51:17 -0800, "PeterL" wrote: More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap. Making generalities regarding any racial group leads to very dangerous assumptions. I've known many people of different nationalities who don't fit their stereotyped characteristics. That's what stereotypes are. You forgot to quote the previous poster who says Thai women are cheap. John L. |
#14
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Gointothai has offered us the following clue :
Interesting I am also involved with a Thai Girl and would like to bring her home (Canada) but I am concerned that the culture shock could be too great. any thoughts on this. My living in Thailand is not a real possibility as I am still relatively young and need to continue to build my massive wealth (as im sure all of you have JK) I've brought my Thai wife to France 9 years ago and we are quite happy here, with plans to move to Thailand once my massive wealth is established. The first year was difficult for her. |
#15
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"My Hobby" wrote:
snip - Prepare her arrival by contacting the Thai Embassy and trying to locate Thai stuff nearby your home: Food shop, Thai restaurants, Temples and, if you can, Thai expats living there. Not sure if The Thai expat population in Canada is much different than Los Angeles, but one of the things I frequently found is that many of the Thais in L.A. (there are many) are a pretty bad lot and are quick to take advantage of the new arrival. And they also lead them into trouble easily. Be careful of associations with local Thais. Here in the North Hollywood area of Los Angeles, I've found quite the opposite to be the rule. The Thais with whom we associate, business or social, are all good people. Maybe if you spend more time at a small local Wat or Pana Sala, you will meet a better class of people. With Metta, -- Nick. To help with tsunami relief, go to: http://usafreedomcorps.gov/ Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops. You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! ! |
#16
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On Tue, 15 Feb 2005 09:24:39 -0800, "PeterL"
wrote: "John L" wrote in message .. . On Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:51:17 -0800, "PeterL" wrote: More importantly, the farangs who wants to marry them are cheap. Making generalities regarding any racial group leads to very dangerous assumptions. I've known many people of different nationalities who don't fit their stereotyped characteristics. That's what stereotypes are. You forgot to quote the previous poster who says Thai women are cheap. John L. This a newsGROUP My reply was addressed to the group & was meant to apply to all posters to the group. If I wished to make a criticism of you I would have addressed the message directly to you, but If the shoe fits wear it. I was making generalities about people who make generalities :-) John L. |
#17
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Gointothai wrote: Interesting I am also involved with a Thai Girl and would like to bring her home (Canada) but I am concerned that the culture shock could be too great. any thoughts on this. My living in Thailand is not a real possibility as I am still relatively young and need to continue to build my massive wealth (as im sure all of you have JK) ****Like any good relationships, honesty and good communication is a must. However, for a couple with cross culture, you multiply the difficulty by four! My suggestion for your situation is, make sure that you explain the enormous differences between Canada and Thailand to her thoroughly. The most difficult thing for her would be home sick, when you see the home sick signs from her, encourage her to call her family. The first six months will be very tough for her. Encourage her to keep busy and educating herself about Canada as much as possible. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about introducing her to Thai people in your area. The first few years she needs to learn to adjust to her new environment as quickly as possible. The other thing you may need to keep an eye on is the Seasonal Affective Disorder. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask me. Noi "six-toes" wrote in message oups.com... Thai-ing the knot OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to Thailand in search of a Thai wife. ThAI women are noted for their warmth, beauty, grace, charm and loyalty. Perhaps that's why so many British men find them irresistible. In many cases, that longing translates into marriage. This is now such a common practice that the Land of Smiles must surely lead the way in global dating. It's a modern social phenomenon. Availability So many Thai women are in or have escaped unhappy marriages. They have a fantasy that things will be better with a farang (foreigner). This is enhanced by the mutual availability of unhappily married or lonely, single Western men. Not all men who beat the hot trail to Thailand seek simple gratification in the bars of Bangkok or Pattaya. They are looking for something better, a loving and beautiful wife. Myths and illusions Western men go for Thai women because they know how to take care of their husbands . . . but there can be pitfalls. - Picture by K.T. GOH The Western woman has given up the idea of being a devoted housewife and so the farang believes the Thai lady will do a much better job of looking after his needs. Indeed, she probably will as she has been brought up to take care of her husband and keep the house in order. Even when Thai women work, they are still happy to look after their men. In fact, the concept of a Western-style marriage is rather new. This may explain the philandering spirit of many Thai men, known by their womenfolk as butterflies. But the whole game of dating Thailand's beautiful women can be fraught with illusion and misunderstanding. Many Western men come to Thailand knowing nothing of Thai culture and takes little trouble to find out. He heads straight for the bars and then makes a messy business of marrying a bar girl. He takes her back to his country where, in many cases, she feels like a fish out of water. And then he's surprised when his whole house is taken over by her family. For Thais, loyalty to the family is paramount and sometimes the unsuspecting farang husband can become overwhelmed by it. Happy with older men Another reason the farang heads for Thailand to find a wife is because he has heard that Thai women are happy with older men. I know a delightful Englishman in his mid-60s who is happily married to a young lady half his age. This marriage is working because he has taken enormous trouble to learn about Thai culture and to develop his relationship with compassion and understanding. It helps, too, that they now live in Thailand. In fact, a Western-Thai relationship will only work if the farang mellows his harsh Western ways and bows to the Thai way of doing things. If not, he will get very frustrated. Openness and patience are essential . . . never show your anger. One argumentative 60-something Yorkshire man was surprised when he was confronted by his wife with a knife in her hands. He thought it was time to wind up the marriage there and then. It was never going to work. Marriage is about more than sex Falling in love is about sexual chemistry and, of course, one of the great attractions is the misconception that Thai women are sexually free. Yet, although Thailand is a free and easy society on the surface, not all is as it seems. Few eligible Thai women are bar girls whose economic circumstances force them to exchange money for sex. The farang, who thinks that the average Thai lady will bed down with him on their first date, is in for a rude awakening. Take the case of the young Thai lady who arrived at London Airport, having been matched with a Brit, only to discover that her new man wanted to have sex even before he got her home. She fled in disgust to the agent who desperately tried to find her another partner. So much for cross-cultural understanding. Money misunderstandings Money. This is probably the biggest cause of all misunderstanding. The exchange rates make the farang appear a rich man when he is in Thailand and the Thai lady is often deceived by this illusion of wealth. Little does she realise that, back in his own country, where the cost of living may be three or four times as much, her man has a very ordinary income. In addition, many Thai ladies have a simplistic idea of how to use money: they believe that, if it's there, it's to be spent; no budgeting, no saving. And, credit cards, well, they can be lethal. There was the German who married a Thai and was posted to North Korea while she remained in Bangkok. He made the mistake of leaving her with his credit card and was then surprised when his German bank phoned him and asked why he was =A320,000 (RM140,000) overdrawn. End of marriage. Yet, who was to blame? Where you have the heady combination of infatuation and money, there lies a recipe for many a tragicomic story. Take the case of the Briton, a married man with a family back home, who visited Thailand and fell in love with a beautiful Chiang Mai girl. When he returned to the UK, he gave her an allowance of =A31,500 a month. Well, don't be surprised that it went to her head and she began to ask for more. There he was, paying her all this money and trying to make ends meet in the most expensive country in the European Union. And, when a friend suggested he should fly out to resolve the situation, the silly man had to explain that he no longer had enough money to pay for an air ticket. Patience is a virtue A cross-cultural relationship is full of hurdles that need to be jumped with care. If not, the fall can be heavy. At the start, there is so much myth and illusion that need to be swept away before any normal relationship can begin. A wise American friend of mine took two years to woo his Thai lady and it has taken a further five difficult years to make it a successful one. =20 There's a lesson in that. W |
#18
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"Noi" wrote in message oups.com... Gointothai wrote: Interesting I am also involved with a Thai Girl and would like to bring her home (Canada) but I am concerned that the culture shock could be too great. any thoughts on this. My living in Thailand is not a real possibility as I am still relatively young and need to continue to build my massive wealth (as im sure all of you have JK) ****Like any good relationships, honesty and good communication is a must. However, for a couple with cross culture, you multiply the difficulty by four! My suggestion for your situation is, make sure that you explain the enormous differences between Canada and Thailand to her thoroughly. The most difficult thing for her would be home sick, when you see the home sick signs from her, encourage her to call her family. The first six months will be very tough for her. Encourage her to keep busy and educating herself about Canada as much as possible. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about introducing her to Thai people in your area. The first few years she needs to learn to adjust to her new environment as quickly as possible. The other thing you may need to keep an eye on is the Seasonal Affective Disorder. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask me. Noi Seasonal Affective Disorder ??? I think Noi has assimilated to a full blown Yankee. First off ....was the girl raised urban or rural ? Where you raised urban or rural ? Are you going to live in an urban or rural environment ? For ease of adaption this is very important....whatever the culture. Secondly...listen to the woman....listen to the woman.....listen to the woman....what are HER expectations ?? Not your expectations....she's cute....you are out of the scenario. Remember....You went to Thailand because you WANTED to.....she is going to Fallangland because of YOU......not because she desires to go to Canada. If you work, she will sit in your dingy basement apartment waiting until the centre of her universe/financial support returns home. Not that bloody fulfilling for the lass. Thirdly....what do YOU know about HER culture and family ? She will undergo social isolation for awhile, it will help a great amount if you can take the time to try and understand her culture and her position within that culture prior to her leaving Thailand. And.....as Noi wisely said, keep her away from the 'old hookers who become instant Thai princesses in Farrangland' .............or words to that effect. They can be extremely evil to young female Thai immigrants. Other than that.....be happy. .....Ken |
#19
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Thank you
Are you in Canada or US and did you find it easy to immigrate? did you marry prior to coming over or after? which is better. I have a very strong family and they will welcome her unconditionally and make her one of us. But I do not want her to feel to out of touch with her family either, is there any difference between the first daughter and the 2nd (she is 2nd) and there responsibility to them. "Noi" wrote in message oups.com... Gointothai wrote: Interesting I am also involved with a Thai Girl and would like to bring her home (Canada) but I am concerned that the culture shock could be too great. any thoughts on this. My living in Thailand is not a real possibility as I am still relatively young and need to continue to build my massive wealth (as im sure all of you have JK) ****Like any good relationships, honesty and good communication is a must. However, for a couple with cross culture, you multiply the difficulty by four! My suggestion for your situation is, make sure that you explain the enormous differences between Canada and Thailand to her thoroughly. The most difficult thing for her would be home sick, when you see the home sick signs from her, encourage her to call her family. The first six months will be very tough for her. Encourage her to keep busy and educating herself about Canada as much as possible. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about introducing her to Thai people in your area. The first few years she needs to learn to adjust to her new environment as quickly as possible. The other thing you may need to keep an eye on is the Seasonal Affective Disorder. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask me. Noi "six-toes" wrote in message oups.com... Thai-ing the knot OLIVER ROSE takes a look at why British men are beating a path to Thailand in search of a Thai wife. ThAI women are noted for their warmth, beauty, grace, charm and loyalty. Perhaps that's why so many British men find them irresistible. In many cases, that longing translates into marriage. This is now such a common practice that the Land of Smiles must surely lead the way in global dating. It's a modern social phenomenon. Availability So many Thai women are in or have escaped unhappy marriages. They have a fantasy that things will be better with a farang (foreigner). This is enhanced by the mutual availability of unhappily married or lonely, single Western men. Not all men who beat the hot trail to Thailand seek simple gratification in the bars of Bangkok or Pattaya. They are looking for something better, a loving and beautiful wife. Myths and illusions Western men go for Thai women because they know how to take care of their husbands . . . but there can be pitfalls. - Picture by K.T. GOH The Western woman has given up the idea of being a devoted housewife and so the farang believes the Thai lady will do a much better job of looking after his needs. Indeed, she probably will as she has been brought up to take care of her husband and keep the house in order. Even when Thai women work, they are still happy to look after their men. In fact, the concept of a Western-style marriage is rather new. This may explain the philandering spirit of many Thai men, known by their womenfolk as butterflies. But the whole game of dating Thailand's beautiful women can be fraught with illusion and misunderstanding. Many Western men come to Thailand knowing nothing of Thai culture and takes little trouble to find out. He heads straight for the bars and then makes a messy business of marrying a bar girl. He takes her back to his country where, in many cases, she feels like a fish out of water. And then he's surprised when his whole house is taken over by her family. For Thais, loyalty to the family is paramount and sometimes the unsuspecting farang husband can become overwhelmed by it. Happy with older men Another reason the farang heads for Thailand to find a wife is because he has heard that Thai women are happy with older men. I know a delightful Englishman in his mid-60s who is happily married to a young lady half his age. This marriage is working because he has taken enormous trouble to learn about Thai culture and to develop his relationship with compassion and understanding. It helps, too, that they now live in Thailand. In fact, a Western-Thai relationship will only work if the farang mellows his harsh Western ways and bows to the Thai way of doing things. If not, he will get very frustrated. Openness and patience are essential . . . never show your anger. One argumentative 60-something Yorkshire man was surprised when he was confronted by his wife with a knife in her hands. He thought it was time to wind up the marriage there and then. It was never going to work. Marriage is about more than sex Falling in love is about sexual chemistry and, of course, one of the great attractions is the misconception that Thai women are sexually free. Yet, although Thailand is a free and easy society on the surface, not all is as it seems. Few eligible Thai women are bar girls whose economic circumstances force them to exchange money for sex. The farang, who thinks that the average Thai lady will bed down with him on their first date, is in for a rude awakening. Take the case of the young Thai lady who arrived at London Airport, having been matched with a Brit, only to discover that her new man wanted to have sex even before he got her home. She fled in disgust to the agent who desperately tried to find her another partner. So much for cross-cultural understanding. Money misunderstandings Money. This is probably the biggest cause of all misunderstanding. The exchange rates make the farang appear a rich man when he is in Thailand and the Thai lady is often deceived by this illusion of wealth. Little does she realise that, back in his own country, where the cost of living may be three or four times as much, her man has a very ordinary income. In addition, many Thai ladies have a simplistic idea of how to use money: they believe that, if it's there, it's to be spent; no budgeting, no saving. And, credit cards, well, they can be lethal. There was the German who married a Thai and was posted to North Korea while she remained in Bangkok. He made the mistake of leaving her with his credit card and was then surprised when his German bank phoned him and asked why he was £20,000 (RM140,000) overdrawn. End of marriage. Yet, who was to blame? Where you have the heady combination of infatuation and money, there lies a recipe for many a tragicomic story. Take the case of the Briton, a married man with a family back home, who visited Thailand and fell in love with a beautiful Chiang Mai girl. When he returned to the UK, he gave her an allowance of £1,500 a month. Well, don't be surprised that it went to her head and she began to ask for more. There he was, paying her all this money and trying to make ends meet in the most expensive country in the European Union. And, when a friend suggested he should fly out to resolve the situation, the silly man had to explain that he no longer had enough money to pay for an air ticket. Patience is a virtue A cross-cultural relationship is full of hurdles that need to be jumped with care. If not, the fall can be heavy. At the start, there is so much myth and illusion that need to be swept away before any normal relationship can begin. A wise American friend of mine took two years to woo his Thai lady and it has taken a further five difficult years to make it a successful one. There's a lesson in that. W |
#20
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I'll agree about avoiding local Thai groups in the US or Canada. One
Canadian is still paying for his mother in law's apt after the Filipino 'welcoming committee' gave her the down-low. She moved out of his house claiming he abused her which entitled her to force him to pay for an apt of her own. If your Asian wife mostly hangs out with others from her country in the West she won't mature and adapt as quickly. Or at all. They'll just be jabbering amongst themselves like they would back in the hood. I don't see the need to suddenly change my culture for my wife's and be 100% sympathetic to it's backward provincial ways. They're Third World countries! That's nuts. The best thing you can do for her is urge her to move into the 21st century and get with it. Yes way too many do marry a bar girl or the first girl who smiles at them, and they're sorry later. That family first thing is a nice idea, but the Western husband just becomes a 'tool' if he lets that crap continue. Remember tool rhymes with 'fool'... Take your time and find one that's got a good head on her shoulders to match her pretty face. I could have gotten married a 100x in the Philippines if I wanted to, but I wasn't there to get married. Until one day.... There's just as many pitfalls when marrying an Asian as there is in your own country. If not more. |
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